Chapter Notes: Ava-Rain's POV

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- 'I am standing here just because of you, every part of me is a part of you. . .' -

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The entire car ride had been silent, a gift that Caleb tried his hardest to maintain for my sake. There had been a million thoughts racing through my mind and a million more questions matching them step by step. If he could, he would have tried to silence and answer them all as best he could. But he couldn't and he knew that; it was why he had given me both the reins and the control to deal with this upcoming encounter as I saw fit. All that he could do was be there and wait for me to go to him when I was ready.

     And I would, undoubtedly, go to him. Despite the uncertainty and confusion surrounding this unexpected situation I found myself in, I would always find my way back to Caleb. And there was nothing uncertain or confusing about that fact. How could there be when he had just proven that he would do anything and everything in his power to keep me by his side? When, even after deciding to walk away from him and the pack, my love and need to protect them all too quickly pulled me back?

     They were my home. He was my home.

     Once the car came to a stop and the engine was cut, something inside told me that silence and I would not meet again for quite some time.

     Just as I mustered up the courage to end the unfair silent treatment, Caleb had already gotten out of the car. Through the windshield, I watched him round the front only to stop halfway and meet my gaze through the window. There wasn't the slightest trace of annoyance on his face nor in his body language, but I was able to catch a glimpse of understanding in his grey eyes before he nodded once, turned his back and leaned against the hood of the car. Leaving me to come out when I was ready.

     I turned my head towards the driver's side and stared at the house across the street. It looked the same as when I had last been there, but who knew better than I did that appearances weren't always everything.

     The well manicured lawn that was cut every Tuesday morning from spring until the end of summer like clockwork was only a mask meant to hide—or, rather, distract—from the dirty secrets hidden inside of the house. And the dozens of gardenias, tiger lilies and pansies planted out front of both the left and right halves of the house were done so at the request of the overly meticulous, obsessively compulsive owner who could easily grow, maintain and nurture a garden better than she could any real relationship. No matter how pretty the house looked on the outside, no matter how warm and inviting it appeared, everything about the bungalow was a lie. A dirty little secret that Kasey and I swore to keep.

     The passenger door opening drew my attention away from the house to Kasey. After unbuckling my seatbelt, I swung my feet out but remained seated inside the car. Kasey crouched down in front of me, taking my hands in hers and resting them in my lap as our eyes met.

     "You don't have to do this, you know that, right? After what she did to you. . .let me go. You don't have to see or speak to her ever again, Ava-Rain."

     "No, I have to do this, Kasey. Not just for me, but for you and for them." I turned my head away from her and glanced at the surrounding pack members. At Caleb, who was still in front of the car, but with Kane and Chase currently by his side. "For him."

     There were too many unanswered questions, and I wasn't going to leave until they were answered. She owed me that much.

     "Then I'll be right there with you, okay? And I make no promises of being on my best behaviour."

     Turning back to face my best friend, I smiled.

     "And just in case you try to get me to, I already made it very clear to that one over there on the drive here that it wasn't going to happen. Remind me to pay you back for that, by the way."

     "I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Besides, pairing up with Kane wasn't my idea, it was his." I snuck a quick glance at the beta. "I guess he just wants to keep a close eye on you, you know, since you're his—"

     "Say the 'm' word and I'll tell yours all about your unhealthy and embarrassing chick-flick obsession." Her blue eyes warned, but I only laughed at her attempt of a threat.

     "He already knows, and I'm pretty sure he can recite at least half of Shane West's lines in A Walk To Remember."

     Her jaw dropped and she shot a look in Caleb's direction. "Damn. And he hasn't gone running for the hills?"

     "True love conquers all."

     She returned her gaze to me and gave me her infamous 'girl, please' look. "Your 'Mrs. Draco Malfoy' phase?"

     I nodded.

     "Team Edward phase? That couldn't have sit too well with him."

     "We chalked it up to a temporary lapse of judgment. We are now firmly Team Jacob."

     "You're both disgusting, and I pray that I never end up like you." Despite her words, Kasey did manage a smile—a genuine one—that assured me that, as much as she hated to, even if the words never left her mouth, she, in her own way, accepted my relationship with Caleb.

     It had been the one thing I needed most from her, and it wasn't lost on me how much she had to give up or the internal battle she had to fight in order to do an act that wasn't simple nor easy in any way. She was giving up a lot for me. Fighting for me. And as long as I was with Caleb, there would always be that tiny dent in our relationship, a line that couldn't be crossed. And, though she would never ever admit it loud enough for him to hear, a very brief talk before we left the den consisted of her telling me that she felt indebted to him for saving my life for a third time. No matter how much she disliked him, her love for me greatly outweighed it, and I was just grateful that the two people I cared most about had arranged some sort of armistice.

     Just as she was about to rise, I leaned in and tied my arms around her neck. "Promise you'll never leave me?"

     It wasn't long before Kasey's arms wrapped around me in return. "You already know that's a given. Whenever you need me, for as long as you need me, I'll always be here. I love you, Ava-Rain Tolbert."

     "I love you, too, Kassandra Helland."

     We both sniffed at the same time, a telltale sign that we had both been crying. While laughing at each other, we broke apart and wiped each other's tears away before standing up.

     "Okay," her blue eyes darkened as seriousness flooded them, "you ready to do this?"

     "As ready as I'll ever be. Can you give Caleb and I a minute, though?"

     She nodded. "Hey, you two!" She shouted at Kane and Chase, both of whom turned to look at her. "Let's go over the contingency plans one more time. I want to make sure that none of you freeze up if this all turns to shit."

     "Yeah, that couldn't hurt." Chase agreed and was the only one to move.

     "You want to try that again?" Kane challenged, but, as expected, Kasey had already turned her back and was making her way down the street towards the rest of the scattered pack. All of whom were familiarizing themselves with the area.

     "I never repeat myself," she threw over her shoulder, "so, try and keep up as best as you can. Okay?"

     I didn't even bother trying to hide my smirk as an aggravated Kane followed her lead, mumbling under his breath. Those two were a match made in heaven.

     Shaking my head, I walked up to Caleb, who greeted me with a soft smile. His arms that had been folded across his chest dropped immediately, and I took that as an invitation to move in closer. I stepped in between his legs and slid my arms around his neck. His hands quickly found their way on my waist before he pulled me closer against his body.

     I had so many thoughts and was feeling so many things in that moment, but had absolutely no clue where to begin. I didn't know what to say. Words were sometimes tricky, and weren't always enough to accurately convey what you thought or felt. I didn't know if I even wanted to say anything, or if I should've said anything at all because, considering where we were and what we were about to do, right then and there probably wasn't the best time for us to have a moment.

     But the way that Caleb was staring back at me—even after everything I had said and done—like I was his moon, the only source of light in the world of darkness that he was born into, my choice became obvious. I did the only thing that I knew I could do, did what I had to do, and that was to let him in.

     I slid my hand from the nape of his neck down to the side of his face. Caleb placed a hand on top of mine and I took that opportunity to lean in closer until our foreheads met. Establishing a connection like he had shown me so many times before. Once it had formed, I closed my eyes and let him feel everything that I had been too afraid to share with him on the drive over. The fear, the confusion, the anger, the regret, the anxiety, the sadness and the pain. The emotions were so strong and so intense that I felt guilty for even burdening Caleb with those feelings.

     Whether it was nature or nurture that had programmed me to deal with my own emotions and problems on my own, I couldn't really say. It was just something that I had always done. Allowing Caleb in, letting him see inside of me, was one of the scariest things in the entire world, but blocking him out, keeping him at arms length and pretending that I was fine when I wasn't was how we ended up in our current situation in the first place.

     I didn't want to do that anymore. I couldn't do that anymore.

     A day ago I had been ready to run, but who the hell was I kidding to think that running away wouldn't bring me right back to where I started? Where I began? Caleb was my beginning. A stranger with beautiful grey eyes, a scarred heart and a need to place everyone he loved above himself had become the greatest love that I would ever have. Ever want. Ever need. All roads would lead me back to him. Always.

     "I'm sorry," I whispered.

     For what I put you through.

     For what I'm about to put you through.

     For not trusting you.

     For not trusting in us.

     For not believing in you.

     For not believing in us.

     For doubting you.

     For doubting us.

     "Look at me," Caleb replied.

     I did as instructed when the hand he had placed on top of mine was moved to cup my cheek instead. His other, which had still been settled on my waist, reached up and grabbed my left hand that was still at the back of his neck. As it was the same hand that he had cut to create a blood bond, he held it gently in his own before he slowly brought it down to his chest and placed it over his heart.

     The hard beats of the organ bouncing off of my palm mixed with the warmth of his chest easily reduced the whirlwind of emotions inside of me into a more controllable and tamed wind. But, as I had enough experience to know when I was being invaded by his emotions, I knew Caleb had also been playing a subtle part in toning down my emotions.

     "Why are you sorry? For yesterday? For what's inside of that house?" He threw a quick glance at the bungalow before setting his gaze back on me. "That doesn't scare me. I can handle that. We can handle that," he gestured towards the pack. "But this," he pulled my hand away from his chest and placed it on my own, "this scares me to death, Ava-Rain, and it shouldn't because I know that it belongs to me. That it beats for me as mine beats for you. It scares me because I don't know how to protect it or reassure it when this," his hand on my cheek slid up to the side of my head, "fills with doubts and, in turn, makes your heart begin to doubt us."

     How many times had I allowed my head to overrule my heart by convincing myself that it had, in fact, been my heart calling the shots all along? Not all decisions made using your head were rational, and not all decisions made using your heart were irrational. Caleb wasn't telling me that I had to stop using my head over my heart, only that, at least when it came to us and our relationship, sometimes the two needed to be kept separated because we weren't black and white, but a whole lot of grey.

     "You love me?" He asked.

     I nodded.

     "And you know that I love you?"

     Again, I answered with a nod.

     "I love you and you love me, and that's something neither of us can doubt, right? But in the name of that love, we've both done things, and said things, and hid things to protect not only each other but ourselves. So, I don't want to hear you apologize for what you're feeling. I just want you to always be willing to share them with me, the good and the bad, because I don't ever, ever want us to come to a point where I have to hear you say that you're leaving me again. Understand?"

     "Yes."

     "Promise?"

     "I promise."

     "And I promise to do the same, okay? In fact," just as he had done before, Caleb placed his hands on my waist, "after this, how about we go home and—"

     "Talk?" I smiled as I leaned in, and, just as I had done before, tied my arms around his neck and tangled my fingers in his hair.

     "Talk. . .touch. . .talk and touch," he smirked. "How does that sound?"

     "Sounds good."

     "Good. Now, come here," he pulled me in and kissed me. It hadn't lasted long, nor had it been anything more than a gentle touch of our lips. But the few seconds it lasted had been more than enough time for the red to leave behind a burning tingle on my lips and send a message that was anything but innocent or gentle.

     "Tease," I whispered against his lips.

     I wanted more. Needed more.

     He smiled as he pulled away from the car and stood to his full height. "One of these days," he let go of my waist to instead cup my face in his hands, "playing with fire is going to get your burned." Without even a second to digest his warning, Caleb leaned down and captured my mouth with his in a hungry, passion laced kiss.

     It was impossible to be drowned by fire, but that was exactly what it felt like as we kissed. Like I had been drowning. Like my body was being weighed down by the heat of an infinite amount of flames all around me, and my lungs were being filled with ash and soot. I couldn't possibly have known what it truly felt like to be set on fire, but I did know what it felt like to have your entire being set ablaze by a kiss.

     Although it lasted longer than the previous one, like all kisses with Caleb, it ended far too soon. When I opened my eyes, Caleb was already staring at me with an all too familiar expression on his face.

     "I'm fine," I assured him before he could ask.

     Because he was totally going to ask.

     Ignoring me, he placed the back of his hand against my forehead. Since I had woken up, he had noted that my body felt warmer than usual, but a quick check from Stryder confirmed that it wasn't a fever. Other than feeling a little out of it, like when you've overslept and instead of feeling rejuvenated your body feels fatigued, I felt completely normal.

     After that kiss, I was in a complete state of bliss.

     Caleb dropped his hand but said nothing. Perhaps it was because he was choosing to believe my reassuring words, or because the footsteps and voices of Kasey and the rest of the pack nearing us served as a reminder that this wasn't the time nor place to be distracted. Either way, he took my hand in his and gave me a soft smile before leading the way towards the front door, the others close behind.

     As this had been my plan, Caleb did not say nor do anything when I stepped forward and knocked on the door. He continued to hold my hand, not too tightly but firm enough to assure me that he was most definitely on guard and that he had no plans of letting go. This was not at all how he wanted to handle this situation, and had it been up to him, I would probably be tucked away somewhere safe while he and the pack took care of whatever laid behind that door. But this had started with me, and if it was going to end then it had to end with me.

     As the seconds ticked by, my heart began to beat faster but it wasn't out of nerves. I was anxious. I had not been to this house in a long time. Had not laid eyes on nor spoken to the owner of this house for a long time. I did not want to be there.

     I wanted to be at home with Caleb, laying in his arms in bed and smiling up at him while trying to convince him into getting a star named after me like Landon had done for Jamie.

     I wanted to be out in the backyard with the twins and giving them belly rubs, or reading a book with a silent Tommy to keep me company.

     I wanted to be teased about my height by Harrison, and chasing Stryder around the house begging him to let me braid his hair.

     I wanted to be in the kitchen listening attentively to Chase while he told me embarrassing stories about Caleb as a child, and ignored by Kane until I successfully managed to say something that would get him to crack the faintest of smiles.

     The home in front of me was not one where I belonged, no matter how warm and inviting it might have appeared on the outside. It was just a house.

     When the door finally opened, I, along with everybody else, was caught off guard by the person who had appeared behind it.

     It was him.

     The man that I had only known in wolf form. The man who had given the command to kill Declan. The man who had almost killed me. The man with a secret only I knew, one that was bound to be revealed in the upcoming minutes, maybe even seconds.

     He was tall, with dark brown hair and sharp blue eyes. Eyes that had been pinned on me since he pulled back the door with such an intensity it was almost painfully uncomfortable. Just as I was about to look away, he beat me to the punch when his eyes shifted to Caleb. "She comes in alone—"

     "Like hell!" Caleb protested, his grip on my hand tightened.

     "Because you and I," the pure blood continued as if he hadn't been interrupted, "need to have a conversation of our own. Alone."

     Confused, I turned to Caleb. What could he possibly have to say to him? The only thing keeping my mate on his leash was the promise I forced him to make to not kill anyone within at least thirty minutes of our arrival.

     "A conversation? Sure. If you have any last words before I end you, I'll grant that to you."

     "End me?" His lips twisted into a smirk as he stepped out onto the porch. "Funny. The only reason you're still breathing is because I'm allowing it. Just like the reason your poor excuse for a delta is still breathing is because I'm allowing it."

     "If you think you can kill me, by all means," Caleb stepped dangerously close to him, "try it."

     "Caleb!"

     "Gray, that's enough!"

     My head whipped around at the sound of that all too familiar voice. Almost immediately, my blood began to boil and all of the anger that I had done my best to keep on a low simmer quickly rose. From behind the pure blood, she finally emerged.

     Still beautiful.

     Still perfect.

     Still completely unaware that not everything she touched turned to gold, and that no matter how many times she shed her skin, she'd always be a snake.

     Jennifer.