Chapter Notes: Ava-Rain's POV

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- 'Needle & the thread, gotta get you out of my head, needle & the thread gonna wind up dead.' -

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He was bigger than I remembered.

The sunlight peaking through the trees bounced off of his dark fur. His ears were pinned forward, his tail held high. I didn't know much but I'd like to think that I knew enough about wolf behaviour to know that those specific actions, along with his low but unmistakable bone-chilling growls, were all signs of aggression.

And what more could I expect? Before him, I was nothing but a weak little human, and I could only assume that this expression of dominance was meant to remind me of my place.

As if I could ever forget.

There couldn't have been more than thirty feet of distance between us. Not enough to convince myself that any attempt to escape would be successful, just enough to see that he had me exactly where he wanted me. Dangling the view of the den in front of me, daring me to try and make a break for it.

"Did you come to finish what you started over a week ago?" I raised my hands when it moved forward a few feet. "Because, I have to tell you, when I think of dying I imagine it being much more peaceful. Quick and painless," I took a step towards him. "Maybe in my sleep?" I took another, hands still up. "Definitely not in the woods alone. And certainly not today."

I probably should have been afraid. No, I knew that being afraid would truly have been in my best interest. The last time I came face to face with this wolf left me with memories that still haunted my dreams, and an abundance of guilt whenever I looked at Declan. But being afraid would have only connected me to the Ava-Rain that I was during our first encounter. The weak Ava-Rain that put another person's life at risk because she wasn't strong enough to keep herself and that person out of harm's way.

And I never wanted to be that Ava-Rain ever again.

The rest of the pack had to have been on their way. Caleb's howl had undoubtedly reached their ears, and because of that fact the only thing on my mind was not to try and stall for as long as possible but to end this as quickly as I could.

"But if this is how it's going to be, then. . .then I accept it. For them."

I lowered my hands, dropping my arms to my side. "Any minute, the pack, two probably very angry parents and a hunter are going to storm these woods and do what they have to do to defend their alpha. To defend me. You're outnumbered, which I'm sure you already know, and if that's true then you obviously don't care, do you? Because you're stronger. And you're faster. But I'm hoping to God or Luna that you're also honourable. That if you came here to kill me, that you'll do it and then you'll leave. Nobody else has to die," I shook my head. "Not for me."

Slowly, and while keeping my eyes still locked on the wolf, I lowered myself to my knees.

Surrendering. Offering my self. Offering my life.

As soon as my knees met the dirt, the wolf started walking towards me. Slowly. Calmly. His growls had silenced; the only sound then was the distinct crunch of the leaves and sticks that littered the ground with every step that he took.

My heart was racing so fast I thought it might eventually give out or burst through my chest. And the only thing that I knew might calm me, even if only in the slightest, was Caleb. So I closed my eyes and tried to find that link that we shared to gain some sense or remnants of his feelings, but I couldn't feel him.

I felt nothing.

And I hoped to God that it was only because he was blocking me out, and not because something terrible had already happened to him. That wasn't particularly the last thought I wanted to wander through my mind before dying.

I opened my eyes only to see the wolf halfway to where I still knelt on the ground.

Fifteen feet turned into ten.

Then six.

Three feet allowed him to tower over me.

Two was enough to be swallowed whole by his shadow.

One let me feel his every breath against my skin, the force of every exhale so strong that it blew the stray curls of my hair away from my face.

"I hope you'll make it quick. I. . .I don't want him to have to feel it for too long. Please."

I actually expected my life to flash before my eyes. My gaze lowered to the dirt below as I waited for the movie of my life to begin to play like I had been promised by those that had escaped death's clutches. But it wasn't so much my life that I got to relive in the remaining time I had left, but the people that played a role in making my life memorable enough to relive.

I saw my parents.

I'll see you soon.

I saw my grandmother.

I forgive you.

I saw Caleb.

Forgive me.

I saw the faces of each member of the pack.

Thank you for accepting me as one of your own.

I saw Kasey and the Hellands.

You cannot choose the family you're born into, but you can choose who to love and I love you all.

Death didn't have to be final. It didn't have to mean that it was the end. My parents lived on through me, and I would live on through the ones I left behind. And I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful realization to come over me and see me off into the next life.

I'll see you soon, Mom and Dad.

Caleb, I love you.

I was ready.

Only, the quick send off from this life into the next didn't come.

I lifted my eyes and stared up at the massive wolf, wondering what the hell he was waiting for. "Please," I begged. "Please, just get it over with and go."

The only way that this was going to work—the only way that I could accept my fate—was the knowledge that by doing so I could protect Caleb and the pack from meeting a similar one. I had no clue how the pure bloods managed to infiltrate the estate, but they obviously went to a lot of trouble to do so. And just as they had done the first time with Jennifer's help, they got me alone and away from Caleb because they didn't want him. They wanted me, and, clearly, they were never going to stop coming.

Not until I was no longer in the picture.

'Investigating claims' of mixed bloods taking humans as mates was obviously a carefully coded command to kill. What better way to maintain the balance between the worlds than by killing those—true mate or not—that knew and saw too much? I probably wasn't the first and I probably wouldn't be the last human to be executed over something I had absolutely no control over. So long as there was a system in place that was run by those that believed they had the power and right to protest the will of their own Goddess, my life wasn't invaluable. I was expendable.

This was the way of this world, made so by those that governed it: The Council.

It wasn't right and it certainly wasn't fair, but I couldn't deny that Caleb and the pack would all be safer if I was gone.

The wolf finally made a move, but it wasn't one sparked by anger or dominance. He leaned his head down until we were face to face. He then lowered his head some more. With his nose he nudged at my arm once before pulling away and looking back up into my eyes. When he repeated the action, it only made me even more confused than the first time he had done it.

"I don't. . .I don't understand." I was certain my confusion was more than just in my tone but written all over my face.

Again, he nudged my arm with his nose, but that time he went a step further by wedging it underneath my hand and lifting it slightly. Holding my hand up in the air, he licked it once, then twice, before rubbing the side of his head against it.

I looked at my hand then back at him. I wasn't exactly a wolf whisperer, but I was one hundred percent positive that he wanted my hand.

"My hand? You want my—" Realization kicked in almost immediately.

He didn't want my hand, but my touch.

"You want me to see something? Something inside of your mind?"

He nodded once.

'No heir of the yellow would ever betray their own mind by allowing a human to enter it.' That's what Angelie had said and I had no reason to disagree with her statement. The only reason my hand came into contact with this wolf the first time was in an attempt to thwart off his attack. Why the hell would he come all this way only to intentionally have his memories hijack my mind again?

The answer to that question I knew I would only receive once I did one of the stupidest things I could have ever done.

Trust a pure blood.

A pure blood that had already attacked me once.

A pure blood that almost had Declan killed.

A pure blood that had gotten me alone yet again by purposefully forcing a separation between Caleb and I.

Before I could eventually talk myself out of it—or begin to imagine the yelling I would have certainly received had Caleb been there—when the wolf lowered his head and the simple action took his gaze along with him, I reached up, placed my hand on the soft spot on top of his head and closed my eyes.

Surprisingly, the pain I expected to feel when my hand came into contact with the wolf had not come. I could only guess that it was because, unlike the first time, his memories were given with his consent and not unintentionally implanted inside of my head. But there wasn't much time to dwell on that, not when I had seen something I never in a million years expected to see, especially inside of this wolf's mind.

Whether it had been me or him that pulled away first, I couldn't be sure. There were a thousand questions racing through my mind, but I knew there wasn't enough time, and when he took a few steps backwards he must have known it, too.

It was faint, very faint, but because I was still kneeling on the ground I was able to feel the earth beneath me shaking. And in a minute or less, that very faint shake would undoubtedly turn into a much stronger one; a promise of a fight against a pack answering their alpha's call.

Fear quickly overpowered my shock, burning its way through my veins. "You need to go. Now."

He didn't need nor wait for me to tell him again. After releasing a mighty howl, a call I hoped was to the other two wolves he brought with him and not a declaration to engage in a battle, he glanced back down at me with narrowed amber eyes for only a second before he turned around and ran off.

No longer a temporary hostage to the pure blood, the first and only thought that popped into my head was to get up, turn around and find Caleb. That's what I planned to do, however, my mind seemed to have had its own idea on what was about to happen next. And I was only fooling myself into thinking that I had any say over it or what it planned to do next.

     It started out as nothing but a faint, barely there throb. Sort of like footsteps that were headed in your direction, but still too far off in the distance that they could barely escape the confinements of silence. I had experienced enough migraines to know when one was about to hit, and it was that familiarity that reminded me I would be safe from the pain for at least a couple of hours. Something I could deal with after I made sure that Caleb was safe and after I received an angry-yet-deeply-loving scolding from him for doing the complete opposite of what he would have wanted me to do.

     But I was wrong.

     Within seconds the throbbing increased its tempo, and, without warning, a piercing pain erupted inside of my head and quickly spread throughout my entire body like wildfire. The pain was both unbearable and paralyzing, so much so that although all I wanted to do was scream, I couldn't even open my mouth to let one out. All I could do was lay there on the ground and suffer in silent agony. All I could do was pray for the pain to end and wonder if that was what dying felt like.

Because if it was, I was too far gone and too much in pain to feel ashamed for begging for mercy in the form of a quick death.

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     It's dark and I'm terrified.

     Fear burns throughout my body as I run through the forest, not daring to look back even once. Knowing that it's on my heals pushes me to run faster. To run harder.

     I don't know how long I've been running. I can't tell you why. I only know that I can't stop. If I do, I know that it'll be the end. It'll all be over.

     All around me, the trees are nothing more than a blur as I pass them by. Branches breaking beneath my feet along with my heavy breaths fill my ears.

     I want to stop. I know how much easier it will be if I just stop running and give up. Give in.

     But I don't.

     I. . .I can't.

     I ignore the pain in my chest and continue to run. I run until the pain becomes non-existent. Until silence fills the air around me. Until I feel the chase come to an end. Until the hunt is over.

     The chase leads me to a clearing, and inside of it, he is waiting for me.

     Caleb.

     And in this moment, I realize why I am here.

     Bathed in the moonlight, he stands rooted in the grass. His amber eyes are focused solely on me, his glossy black fur rustles in the wind that floats around us both.

     I move towards him and watch him as he watches me. He doesn't move, he simply waits for me to come to him. But when I am half way there, he releases a threatening growl that stills me in my tracks. His tail begins to thrash around violently and his mouth curls back into a snarl.

     The hairs on the back of my neck stand up as a shiver runs down my spine. My heart begins to pound furiously as I stare directly at the wolf who swore to always protect me yet looks seconds away from tearing me to shreds.

     I take a step closer. Then another. And another. Even as the growls become louder, even as the rage radiates off of him, I continue towards my mate.

     One cannot evade death, and death is summoning me.

     So, I go.

     Caleb lets out a mighty howl and all around us the forest erupts into flames.

     'Wake!' Shouts a voice that sounds an awful lot like my own.

     The earth beneath me begins to shake and split, but I fight to remain on my feet. The crisp night air mixed with the heat from the burning trees creates a feeling I can only describe as that precise moment when the final second of dawn ticks down and the first ray of sunlight gently caresses you. My nose fills with the scent of smoke, of burning wood and grass.

     Of flesh.

     I look down and see that my entire body is on fire. For only a split second do I panic, and when that moment passes, I embrace it. I don't feel the flames. I don't feel anything other than power and pleasure.

     And it feels so good. It feels so right. I have never felt as alive as I do in this moment.

     'Wake!' The voice shouts again.

     I look up to find Caleb laying on the scorched ground, and just like mine, his body is engulfed by flames. The only difference is that he is dead.

     And I do nothing but but marvel at the sight of his burning body.

     'Wake!'

     Ashes float around me like snow falling from the sky. I close my eyes, breathe in the smoke, and every inhale seems to satiate a deep and monstrous hunger inside of me.

     'Wake!'

     Not one blade of grass, not a single leaf nor petal of a flower is spared from the burning wrath of the flames, and amongst all of the destruction, I can't help but find the beauty within the fiery chaos.

I can't help but wonder what it might feel like to watch the world burn.

I imagine it would be a wonderful sight to behold.

     'Wake!'