That night I was in my room, when I saw on my iPhone that I had a notification from Facebook.

It was a friend request- from Gabby Lee.

I stared at my phone for a moment, unsure if it was real.

But it was real. Her profile picture was of her in her basketball uniform, with another teammate.

But I was looking at her, and only her.

I accepted the friend request. And then I started to panic slightly.

Could this be the start of something? Am I even ready for this? I have no idea if-

My train of thought was cut off by an aggressive knock at my door.

"Come in." I said, putting my phone down.

Peyton walked in, in a hoodie and sweatpants. She was starting to show, and I knew it was making her uncomfortable.

She closed the door immediately, and sat on my bed.

"What's up?" I asked her.

She looked at me. "I heard you got in a fight today with Erica Moore and Christina Rigario."

"Oh. Yes. Well...I didn't like what they were saying about you."

Peyton looked down. "Erica used to have a thing with Sean. It makes sense they were talking shit."

"Well...I didn't appreciate it." I said. "Are you mad at me?"

Peyton looked at me, confused. "No, of course I'm not mad at you. I think you're kind of brave, actually, for taking them on." Peyton then sighed and said, "Though I'm sure what they were saying is what everyone says. That I'm a slut."

"You're not a slut." I said to my sister.

"I definitely feel like one." Peyton said, and then she looked at me, "I heard Gabby Lee pulled Christina and Erica off you. She's on the basketball team, I don't know her very well. I know she's gay though."

So she is into girls. I thought so.

I then asked a question to Peyton that I had to be very careful about. "Does it bother you that she's into girls?"

"No. I don't care. I'm not like mom and dad- I have no problem with gay people." Peyton said, chewing her gum.

"Same." I nodded.

In that moment, that's what I truly needed to hear from Peyton. She could be another safe person- when the time came to tell her.

I laid in bed that night, with a lot on my mind. I wanted to turn off all of my thoughts- so I turned on YouTube. I was watching some L Word scenes, when I got a Facebook message notification.

I felt my heart skip a beat.

I then opened the Facebook app to see a message from Gabby Lee.

Heart pounding out of my chest, I read it.

It said:

Hey. How are you doing? Wanted to make sure you were alright.

Simple, yet sweet.

I thought for a moment about what I wanted to say before I answered. Then I responded:

I am doing okay. The one scratch on my face is healing fine. Thanks for your help today :)

Is it too much to put a smiley face? No. I don't think so.

I wasn't expecting to get a response right away, but Gabby then said:

Good! I'm glad you're okay. Two girls versus one isn't fair so I figured I'd help you out :)

She sent me a smiley face back. That's a good sign.

I wasn't sure what to say back. I looked at my phone, wondering how I should respond. Should I end the conversation here? I didn't really want to.

I then got another message from Gabby, surprisingly.

It said: I'm surprised I haven't seen you around before, especially being Peyton Jameson's sister. I figured I would know who you are.

I then said back: I'm a lot different than Peyton. Not as extroverted, or have as many friends.

The conversation then flowed from there over messenger. We messaged back and forth for two more hours, until she stopped responding. I figured she had fallen asleep, it was already past midnight.

I felt this sense of giddiness inside me. A feeling that was extremely unfamiliar- giddiness about another person, possibly romantically.

I was right, Gabby did fall asleep as we were talking, and the next morning she messaged me- with her phone number. She said it was easier for her to text then message on Facebook.

She also gave me her Snapchat.

We snap chatted and texted throughout the week, and it was almost like there was an unspoken understanding that this was more than a friendship situation- even though there was no confirmation from me to her that I liked girls.

That Friday, I was walking back to my locker after my last period, and I noticed someone standing by my locker.

It was Gabby.

I felt my heart skip a beat as I walked over to her, looking around as well to see if anyone was watching.

"Hey, Gabby." I said, leaning against my locker and standing next to her.

"Hey." she smiled at me, and I swore I felt a spark between us. There was something. "I thought this was your locker since this is where the fight happened. I'm glad I was right."

"It would have been a little awkward if you weren't." I laughed.

"Right? Just standing there waiting for you, when you weren't coming." Gabby chuckled. She then looked at me and smiled slightly, "I just wanted to say hi, in person again. Since we have been texting all week."

"I'm glad you came over to my locker." I said, smiling back at Gabby.

"I wanted to ask you what you were doing this weekend." Gabby said, "If you maybe wanted to hangout?"

I stood there for a moment, slightly panicked. Yes, I had thought about hanging out with Gabby. But the fact that it was now being presented to me- it had me a bit awestruck.

"Yes." I found myself saying, "I'm free tomorrow."

I'll tell my parents I'm seeing McKinley.

"Cool. Would you want to come over to my house? My parents will be at work."

"Okay." I said, "Just text me your address."

"Will do." Gabby gave me a shy smile, "I'll see you tomorrow then."

She walked off, and I looked around, to see if anyone saw our interaction. It didn't look like anyone was paying attention.

I was going to be going over Gabby's at 7 PM. She told me that both of her parents were Doctors- and they would be at the hospital, we would have the house to ourselves- minus her little brother who wouldn't pay attention to us.

The only person that knew about me going to Gabby's was McKinley- and she told me that she wanted details.

Details. Was Gabby expecting us to do stuff? I wasn't exactly opposed to it...but I was nervous. Very nervous about this hangout.

I had never even kissed a girl.

My parents didn't question me when I told them I was going to McKinley's house. I just always had to be sure to be home by 11 PM.

I wanted to look cute to go to Gabby's, but not like I was trying too hard. It was October, and it was chilly outside. I put on a pair of leggings and a gray sweater.

Should I wear cute underwear?

I decided that yes- I would. I put on a pair of lace black underwear and a matching bra. Just in case it was going to be viewed.

I straightened out my blonde hair and put on some makeup- I never wear too much, but I took my time on it.

As I was about to leave, I saw Peyton.

She looked at me. "You look cute." she said, "Where are you going?"

"To McKinley's." I lied, "We might go out to dinner or something."

"Have fun." Peyton said, her eyes wistful. Since getting pregnant, she has been staying home a lot more. I knew she was sad- she was losing friends, her baby's father didn't want anything to do with her, and she felt scared for her future. But she was never willing to talk about it much.

Gabby had texted me her address- she lived 11 minutes away. My mind was racing as I drove over to her house- and when I pulled into her neighborhood, I could see that her parents were Doctors.

She lived in a big, brick home- it was bigger than my house, which already had 5 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms.

I parked to the side of her house. There was a long, winding driveway, but I didn't want to block anyone's car. I texted her that I had arrived, and she told me to walk up to the door, she would greet me.

Gabby wore an Adidas hoodie and leggings when she greeted me. Her hair was in a messy bun, and she stood with her hands in her pockets.

"Hey, Bella. Glad you found my house okay. Come on in." Gabby said, "I figured we can maybe go down to my basement and hangout, watch some TV."

"That sounds good." I said, following Gabby into her home. It was bright, and spacious. It had modern art pieces on the walls. Compared to my house, it was almost like a hotel. My mom preferred our house to be "country chic" as she calls it.

Gabby led me down some steps, reaching a basement. Her basement was large, with a huge flatscreen TV and a big, leather l-shaped couch. I noticed a bowl full of grapes on the glass coffee table in front of the couch.

"Come sit down." Gabby said. She sat on her couch, putting her feet up on the coffee table. I sat down next to her, crossing my legs. I felt very nervous and insecure, and for a second I even thought-

What the fuck am I doing?

She picked up the bowl full of grapes. "Want one?" she asked, "They're frozen. Makes for a great snack."

I almost felt too nervous to eat anything- but I didn't want to be rude.

"Sure." I said, and she handed me a grape. I put it in my mouth and bit down. "This is actually really good."

"Right." Gabby smiled at me, "One of my favorite snacks."

I smiled back faintly, and then I decided to make conversation. "So...how well do you know my sister?" I asked her.

She shrugged, "I've been in school with her for a long time, since middle school. Not too well though, honestly. I mean, everyone knows who Peyton is. But we never really ran with the same crowd."

"Makes sense." I nodded.

Gabby then looked at me, a glint in her dark brown eyes.

"I want to know more about you, Bella. Not sit here and talk about your sister."

I felt myself warm up, "Oh...okay. Well, what do you want to know?"

Gabby looked like she wanted to put her hand on my leg- but she hesitated. "You being here kind of gives me my answer. But do you...like girls?"

I felt my breath hitch. I had to answer honestly with this one, there was no point in lying.

"You can't tell anyone. Only one person knows." I said, looking at Gabby.

"Peyton?" she asked me.

"No." I shook my head, "And she can't know. Not yet. My parents are homophobic. The only one that knows is my best friend, McKinley."

"And now me." Gabby shot me a smile.

"And now you." I nodded back. I could feel tension in the air between us, and Gabby was inching closer to me.

"Well, you have my word that I won't tell anyone." Gabby said, "I don't go around sharing anyone else's secrets. But...do you have experience at all with girls?"

"If I tell you I don't have much would that ruin...what's going on here?" I asked, tripping over my words.

Gabby shook her head, "No. Not at all. I can show you the ropes." she smiled at me, and then lightly put her hand on my thigh.

I felt myself warm up even more.

This is happening.

"I'd like that." I said, "You don't mind?"

"Not at all." Gabby said, "As long as you don't get attached."

"What do you mean?" I asked, caught off guard.

"This isn't going to be a relationship- and I like to get that out of the way from the start. I'm going to college in Florida next year, I'm not looking to start a relationship. But we can have fun, if you're up for it." Gabby said to me.

"I mean, honestly...I'm not looking for a relationship either." I said, "So I am fine with that."

"Good." Gabby smiled at me, looking at me with her almond shaped eyes. "Now...may I kiss you?"

"Yes." I nodded, practically whispering. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest...and then she leaned in, and pressed her lips on mine.

And it just felt...right.

So, so right to be kissing a girl. It felt natural, like it was what my body was meant to do.

So why did something that felt so right, and so natural to me- appear so unnatural to others?

Gabby pressed up against me, and I was getting more and more comfortable kissing her.

Eventually, we pulled away, breathless.

"How far do you want to go today?" she asked me. "Because I...would like to have sex. But only if you want to."

"Let's do it." I said, completely unsure of how this was going to work.

"Okay, how about you lay down?" Gabby said, taking off her shirt- revealing a white sports bra and a very toned stomach underneath.

I started to feel insecure about the fact that I was not that toned and chiseled- but I took off my shirt as well, revealing my bra.

"You're really hot, Bella." Gabby said, as I laid back. She got on top of me, and started kissing my neck- which felt like pure ecstasy.

"Oh...wow." I moaned lightly.

She started to make her way down with her lips, over my collarbone, my stomach, and then she got to my leggings. I felt like I was in some kind of twilight zone- that this wasn't actually happening.

"Can I take your pants off?" I heard Gabby say, and I gave her permission.

She lowered my leggings down, and then slid them off- and she said, "Cute panties. I love black lace."

She pulled them a little bit, and then kissed the skin around and on top of the area that really needed to be touched.

I could feel myself getting very excited, and wanting more. I knew what an orgasm felt like- from myself- but not from someone else- and I was craving that feeling from her.

I felt myself gasp when her tongue finally hit the spot. She seemed to know what she was doing, as she used her fingers as well, playing with me, teasing me, and making me feel good.

I didn't last for long, I started to feel my legs tense up and then there it was- the release. And it felt like the greatest release I ever had- better than what I could do for myself.

I laid there after for a moment, in awe over what just happened. Gabby then came over me, and gave me a kiss.

"Did that feel good?" she asked me.

I nodded, "Yes. Very much so."

I then figured I should ask- "Do you want me to do anything to you?"

I had no idea what I was doing. But I was riding a high from what Gabby did to me- and I figured that I could try to do the same.

"I'm not going to pass it up." Gabby said, and then it was her turn to lay down.

I felt myself shake as I placed kisses on her neck, and her collarbone- I was so nervous, but I honestly liked being in control, and having her be underneath me. Her small moans told me that what I was doing felt good.

I kissed down her abs, and then made my way to her underwear. Her pants had come off sometime in the process.

I felt panicked as I got down there- knowing I had zero clue what I was doing. But I started to kiss outside her underwear, and squirmed under my touch. I then slightly pulled down her black panties- and put my tongue on what felt like a similar spot to mine.

It all took off from there- and the whole time I felt absolutely clueless as to what I was doing- but Gabby guided me slightly with her hands in my hair and with her own body, arching her back, and adjusting herself. It took a bit, and I could feel my jaw locking up- but she came, and around my mouth felt damp.

So that was it. My first time- done.

Gabby and I sat next to each other on the couch after we put our clothes back on.

I felt this need to apologize for my inexperience.

"Um, I hope that felt okay." I said to Gabby, "I don't have much experience doing that."

Gabby nudged me lightly and smiled at me. Her long, dark hair was down and slightly disheveled. "Don't worry about it. I came, didn't I?"

"Yeah." I nodded, with a chuckle. I then looked at my phone, and saw it was after 9 PM. "I'll probably have to leave soon." I said, "I unfortunately have a curfew."

"That's okay." Gabby said, "Want to just watch some TV until you go?"

"Sure." I nodded, and Gabby put her arm around me and turned "Friends" on.

I left after two episodes- and I blasted music- on my way home. I felt like I could jump out of my skin, I couldn't even describe the feeling I had.

I had sex with a girl. And yes- I am gay.