All Shall Fade

Chapter 18

Reasons Unknown

We were lead to a small chamber on the forest floor, nestled between the massive roots of a tree and comfortably furnished with cushions and blankets. I found myself a bed and shrugged off my pack, wincing as it caught my shoulder. Something was definitely out of place there, just hoped nothing was broken. I sighed and laid my weapons, coat and cloak aside. It seemed almost warm here under the pale elvish lights, despite the winter that lingered outside the boarders of the forest. I brushed down my long burgundy shirt that I was wearing and stepped outside, ducking beneath the white tent that marked the entrance of our shelter. I could hear singing faintly echoing through the forest, and although it was in Elvish I still listened, almost bumping into Legolas as he walked past, holding a silver urn of water.

“A lament for Gandalf.” He murmured as I closed my eyes and listened to the distant, mournful voices.

“It’s sad.” I whispered, blinking and walking over to one of the larger roots, where I sat down.

“What do they say about him?” Merry asked from where he sat in our shelter. I glanced back at him, spotting the other Hobbits laying out their bedding as Gimli snored, already sleeping as Aragorn sat beside him, sharpening his sword on his whetstone. I searched for Boromir and spotted him sitting on a root not far from me.

“I have not the heart to tell you. For me the grief is still too near.” Legolas murmured sadly, and I stared at him for a moment. The loss of Gandalf was hitting him hard, he wasn’t used to the after-effects of death, and I saw how difficult it was for him to wrap his mind around the fact that the wizard would not be coming back. I smiled weakly at him as the singing continued.

“I bet they don't mention his fireworks. There should be a verse about them.” Sam said, and I saw him slowly rise to his feet, “The finest rockets ever seen, they burst in stars of blue and green. Or after thunder, silver showers, came falling like a rain of flowers...” He trailed off, looking around as I smiled a little, “Oh that doesn't do them justice by a long road.”

“I’m sure it does.” I murmured, “I would have liked to have seen them.” Sam glanced up at me and smiled sadly as he sat down again. Legolas walked over to me and sat down beside me.

“Are you alright?” He asked and I almost laughed.

“Do I look alright?” I scoffed, “I’m in a strange world, surrounded by people I’ve only recently met, the one person who would have been able to help me get home is gone, I’m hearing voices in my head, I’ve got a screwed up shoulder and I recently became a killer.” I listed breathlessly as tears pooled in my eyes, “Where in all that does the word ‘alright’ appear?” I sniffed, rubbing at my eyes as Legolas looked at me, confusion and hurt crossing his porcelain features. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, looking up at him, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you, you were only trying to be nice…” I sighed and stared down at the ground. “I’m such a mess.” I muttered to myself as I felt him lightly touch my shoulder. I glanced up as he pulled me into a hug, being careful not to nudge my shoulder. I buried my head in his chest, feeling tears escape my closed eyes.

“I would be sad if you left.” He murmured softly.

“I would be sad too, I’d miss everyone.” I whispered, “But I have to go back, I don’t belong here.” I sighed sadly as I sat back.

“You belong in the Fellowship.” His quiet words made fresh tears prick at my eyes.

“Thanks.” I smiled, “That’s sweet of you to say.” I reached out and took his hand, squeezing it a little as I dried my eyes on the sleeve of my shirt.

“You should get some sleep.” He said quietly, a small smile crossing his lips.

“I will in a moment,” I nodded, “I’m just going to sit out here for a few more minutes.”

“Alright.” He smiled gently, his hand slipping out of mine as he stood and walked back under the tree roots, passing Aragorn who was on his way out. I sighed and sat back on my root, leaning against the thick trunk of the tree as I reached up and gently prodded my shoulder, wincing as it throbbed in protest.

“Ouch.” I muttered, closing my eyes and tilting my head back. The singing was beginning to fade away to nothing more than a whisper as I breathed deeply. Every time I breathed in my shoulder would tweak painfully, so I tried to limit the movement.

“Take some rest. These borders are well protected.” I opened one eye to see Aragorn walking past Boromir a few feet away.

“I will find no rest here.” Boromir answered restlessly, “I heard a voice inside my head. She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor.” I sat up as he mentioned Galadriel’s voice, “She said to me, even now, there is hope left, but I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope.” Aragorn stepped back and sat down beside Boromir, and I wondered if either of them were aware that I was looking on, “My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing, and now our... our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right, and I would do it, I would see the glory of Gondor restored.” He sighed, glancing up at me, his eyes meeting my curious gaze before he looked back to Aragorn,”Have you ever seen it, Aragorn? The White Tower of Ecthelion glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver, its banners caught high in the morning breeze? Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?” His voice filled with passion as he spoke of his city, and I found myself longing to see it.

“I have seen the White City, long ago.” Aragorn murmured as Boromir turned to him and placed his hand on his shoulder.

“One day, our paths will lead us there, and the tower guard shall take up the call, ‘The lords of Gondor have returned!’” He smiled, thinking of his homecoming and suddenly seeming much more at ease as he stood, saying goodnight to Aragorn and passing me. I smiled a little and he smiled in return.

“Goodnight Boromir.” I mumbled.

“Sleep well Alice.” He replied, ducking under the white tent as I stared out into the forest at the flickering lights, casting a silver glow over everything. As Aragorn passed me, I opened my mouth to say goodnight, but to my surprise he sat down beside me.

“How is your shoulder?” He asked quietly.

“You noticed?” I half-laughed, thinking I had hidden it rather well.

“It is hard to ignore the fact that you are in pain.” He stated and I looked down.

“Oh…”

“May I see it?”

“S-sure…” I stammered, edging a little closer to him and turning to face him. He gently took my injured arm, cupping my elbow with one hand as he lightly touched my shoulder with the other. He carefully applied a little pressure with his fingertips, apologising as I flinched away, hissing through my teeth at the unexpected stab of pain. His hand moved, gently prodding other areas and gauging my reaction to each movement.

“Can you move it?” He asked.

“A little, it hurts like hell though.” I smiled weakly as he reached for the loose collar of my shirt.

“May I?” He asked, and I blushed.

“Go ahead.” I mumbled, averting my eyes from his face as he lightly pulled aside the fabric, and I grimaced at the large bruises that had already blossomed across my shoulder. I felt my skin heat under his cool fingers as they touched my bare skin, lightly tracing over my collar bone to apply further pressure to my shoulder. “Is it broken?” I whispered, half-fearing his answer.

“No, it appears to be dislocated though.” He murmured, “I can fix it if you wish.”

“That would be… Um… Preferable?” I shrugged a little and then winced as I moved my shoulder. I thought I heard him laugh quietly for a moment before he reached for my good arm and lifted my hand onto his shoulder.

“If the pain becomes too much, just squeeze my shoulder.” He instructed me and I smiled weakly.

“It’s going to hurt a lot, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Brilliant.” I sighed, but I was grateful for his honesty. I hated being lied to about pain, it annoyed me when someone said something like ‘Oh getting your ears pierced is just like a tiny prick, nothing to worry about!’ Yeah, you forgot to mention the nightmare of pain. I rolled my eyes as Aragorn placed both his hands on my shoulder, one in front, and one behind.

“Close your eyes and breathe in.” He whispered and I nodded, clamping my eyes shut and taking a deep breath in, biting down hard on my lower lip as he pushed against my shoulder. I bit down more to hold back my yelp as my shoulder flared agonisingly painfully. I squeezed Aragorn’s shoulder a little, but tried to stop myself as my shoulder jolted and a tear escaped my eye. I could taste blood on my lip as I ducked my head and held back a quiet whimper as my entire arm throbbed. I only looked up when I felt Aragorn lightly touch my hair. “Alice, it’s over.” He murmured as I glanced up, rolling my shoulder a little, it hurt, but didn’t feel as disconnected. “Try not to move it too much.” He said as I sniffed and leant my head against his shoulder.

“Thank you.” I whispered, smiling a little as he awkwardly patted my good shoulder. I sat back, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. I could feel his eyes on me before I even looked up and caught sight of the concern in his stormy grey irises. He reached out, carefully cupping my face with one hand as I frowned in confusion, but then remembered my bleeding lip as he carefully moved his thumb across my lip, wiping away the thin trickle of blood as I felt myself blushing. Hopefully he didn’t notice in the dim light, but he probably wouldn’t have noticed anyway as I saw that his eyes were fixed on mine. I then realised how close we were, our faces were less than a few centimetres apart, and he still held my face in his hand. I quickly sat back, glancing at the ground as I flushed red in embarrassment. “I-I think I’ll go get some sleep.” I stammered, standing and ignoring my shoulder’s protests as I quickly ducked under the tent and made for my bed – but not without stumbling over a tree root first. I blushed furiously at my own stupidity as I kicked off my boots and flopped onto my bed, adjusting my position so I wasn’t lying on my shoulder as I pulled the blankets around myself and slipped into an exhausted sleep.

*

It was late when I found myself blinking awake from my blissful sleep, and I when I glanced around, trying to figure out the reason why I woke, I could only see the sleeping forms of the Fellowship. I tried moving my shoulder a little as I sat up, it was stiff, but the pain was definitely beginning to recede. I swung my legs out of my temporary bed and padded barefoot out into the forest. I took a deep breath of the clear night air, still trying to figure out why I was awake as I stared out at the forest. If I went back now, I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep, so I turned to go sit down on one of the roots, and jumped as I saw Frodo already standing there, looking just as alarmed as I felt as I noticed he held the Ring in the palm of his hand.

“Frodo?” I frowned, “I didn’t realise you were awake.”

“Did I wake you?” He asked, but I shook my head.

“No, it was something else, don’t worry.” I smiled as he took a step towards me, the Ring still visible in his hand. I always felt uncomfortable around it, but now it seemed to have a kind of pulling effect, and I had taken a step forward without realising it.

‘It could help you get home…’ A voice in my head suggested and I took another involuntary step forward. The voice was strange, quiet and tempting. I felt like I had heard it before, but I couldn’t figure out where.

‘You could be free of this world. Free of the grief and the pain…’ The voice crooned in a seductive hiss as I realised that my own hand was outstretched, moving ever closer to Frodo.

‘No.’

My single, stern thought jerked me back to reality, and I moved, placing my hand on Frodo’s shoulder and crouching down in front of him. The voice had been the Ring. I had heard it before at the Council.

“You should get some rest Frodo.” I smiled as his hand closed around the Ring.

“I heard it too.” He whispered and my eyes widened, “You resisted it.”

“Yeah… I don’t need it to help me get home. I came here without any help; I’ll get back without it.” I shrugged.

“You still want to leave?” He asked quietly and I nodded.

“I have to, there’s so much I’ve left behind that I can’t just leave forever.”

“But you will leave us forever?” His blue eyes watered and I bit my lip nervously, and was instantly reminded of my conversation with Aragorn – which caused my cheeks to heat up slightly.

“I… I don’t want to leave forever.” I murmured, “I wish there was some way I could go between both worlds. Maybe I’ll be able to figure out a way, but right now my old life is priority.” I tried to muster up a comforting smile, “If I find a way back, I will make sure I say goodbye.” Frodo nodded a little before stepping away.

“Goodnight Alice.” He smiled.

“’Night Frodo.” I sighed, standing and brushing off my leggings as he made his way back to his bed. What had he been doing out here anyway?

“Alice…” A new voice appeared in my head. Galadriel.

“Oh… Hi.” I replied without thinking about it.

“I wish to speak with you.” Her voice echoed and I nodded, even though I couldn’t see her anywhere.

“Where?” I asked, but found that I suddenly knew. I started walking, allowing my feet to carry me through the trees on an invisible path, until I came across a small flight of stone steps. I followed them downwards as I found myself in a grassy clearing, with a tiny waterfall at one side, and some kind of basin positioned in the middle. Behind it stood Galadriel.

“You wanted to see me?” I said, pausing where I stood as she nodded. There was a silence between us, and I realised that she was waiting for me to ask her questions. “Do you know why I’m here?” I asked the most burning question in my mind, and to my dismay she shook her head.

“Your path is unclear.” She murmured, “You were brought here by the Valar for a reason, but that reason is unknown to me.”

“I was brought here?” I exclaimed and she nodded slightly, and that seemed to be the only explanation I would get. “So… Is there any way for me to leave this world?”

“That is also unclear, although I do not believe that you will be able to leave of your own free will until your purpose here is understood.” I sighed sadly as she continued, “You may, however, be removed against your will.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, alarmed by the words ‘removed’ and ‘against your will’.

“Your bond with this world weakens as time goes on; you are only held here by your deeds and connections. You are not secured here. If something should happen that disrupts this fragile bond, you may be pulled away from this world, although I do not know if you would return to your own.” She explained solemnly as my eyes widened.

“W-what would happen to me if I didn’t return home?”

“You would simply fade away and cease to exist.” Her calm tone made the message somehow more ominous, “But that is not a guarantee, you may yet return to your homeland.” I sighed a little as her eyes seemed to bore into mine. “Would you wish to leave this world before your task is done?”

“I… I…” I groped for an answer in my mind, “No.” I sighed, “I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave the Fellowship.” I smiled, a weight lifted off my heart now that I had made a choice, and now I felt a solid determination. “I’m going to see this quest through to the end. I couldn’t leave not knowing what the outcome was.”

“Then you must find an anchor.”

“Pardon?” I spluttered, thinking that she had just handed me another quest.

“You must find something to connect with and keep you anchored to this world, otherwise you risk being pulled away or fading.” Galadriel’s unchanging tone contrasted my panicked thoughts as I scrambled through my mind, trying to make sense of what she had just told me. “You should rest, your journey continues at dawn.” She smiled a little as I nodded, feeling like I was in a trance, and before I was even aware of what I was doing, I found myself re-entering the Fellowship’s chamber and lying down in my bed again. I frowned as my head touched the pillow, but exhaustion washed over me and I soon dropped off into a dreamless sleep.