I don't own anything except any original/own characters and any original plot.

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Chapter 17 - Logical Wisdom

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I had spent the last week at Kamar-Taj, learning new and intense forms of magic. Along with that came 'bonding' with my artifact. I learned what the textbooks didn't tell me, that it was protective and empathic. On top of that, if I ever got frustrated with it, it would be mad back and wouldn't work.

Along with the artifact training came normal magic training. Spells and rituals I had no idea existed were presented to me. The Ancient One guided my astral form through different realms and dimensions. Along with the new positive learning, came learning about the negatives. The sorcerers and sorceresses who used their gift for their own gain, or to cause chaos and pain for others.

The dark side of magic, that I was always told to stay far away from, was a common topic as well. Once I was intensely interested in, maybe it was the Avenger side of me peeking through, but there was more to the Ancient One and her power. I made a note to investigate that.

I had called Steve twice after the first time, making the total three. I missed him, but a larger part of me knew I couldn't cling onto his words and general aura forever if I truly wanted to learn about myself. It was weird, but a bit refreshing to step away from everyone I knew.

"(Y/n), it is a great honor to be able to tell you that you are now a Master of Magic. Congratulations."

Letting out a joyous laugh I jumped up. I was already a Master of Magic back home, but when I learned of how much I didn't know I sort of stripped myself of that title and started from square one.

"Wait. Does that mean I have to return home?" At the realization I became kind of sad. I liked this vacation, and I liked the people i had met at Kamar-Taj. The Ancient One and Mordo and Wong. Kaecilius was alright, more of a trouble maker than I would have liked, but his views were interesting.

Ancient One chuckled, "Have you forgotten so soon? There is a whole nother side to your learning. You've discovered magic, now it is time for you to discover who you are."

"That was really poetic." I mumbled in shock, not knowing what else to say.

"To begin, you shall meditate for the next hour in solitude. Some music, and good luck."

Left alone with only myself and some melodic music seemingly coming out of nowhere, I sat don to meditate.

Not too bad, I thought to myself, Time to think about my identity crisis

Thought flowing with the music, I reflected on everything I had been pushing away. All of that started at the beginning. My planet, my childhood.

I was a royal with no desire for a throne. Varian was my escape from ruling, but there was something more to it. Did I rebel against the status and social norms for attention? My parents, while loving, focused more on Varian than me. I didn't like that, but denied it. No child would want to admit that their parents cared more for one of their siblings than them.

Going to Asgard was just that final act of rebellion. My chance to both make my mark and go somewhere where I would feel welcome, not like a second choice. Thinking of Asgard brought my thoughts to Loki.

He said a lot of things under the influence of the scepter that scared me. The vision Wanda gave me was even more frightening. He knew about all of my insecurities, all of my secrets, and he used them to hurt me. Shoving my status and 'superiority' down my throat until I got sick of it, of him. He was my best friend, and no matter what happened between us, hearing of his death hurt me more than his words ever could.

Hurt...Like how I hurt Steve with my lies. Forgiven or not, there was guilt within me that would never go away. Guilt that made me question a lot of things. Even though Steve was truly the first man I loved romantically, he was who I intended to marry. We struggled and grew together, intertwining our fates.

Then there was Tony. He and I butted heads more often than I cared to admit, but he kept me in check. He told be about my hypocrisy, of my faults, and shared his own. Such as Ultron. Ultron. Though doubts about myself existed before him, they were never something I dwelled on. But his raw and unfiltered understanding of humanity changed all that. He-

"Alright," Ancient One seemed to float into the room, "Your hour of reflection is complete. Tomorrow we'll spend the day working through your thoughts. After that is your choice. I must leave for business, but you are more than welcome to stay as long as you would like."

"Thank you Ancient One," filled with both more confusion and understanding, I returned to my room, knowing my journey would end tomorrow.

~*~

"So is this going to be another meditation session or..."

"No, this will be much more hands on. You understand the talisman can summon spirits, correct?"

"Yeah..."

"You will be summoning spirits to guide you."

"I beg you pardon?" I sputtered in shock.

Ancient One chuckled at my reaction, "The process is quite simple. I will be guiding you the entire time."

"Alright,"still  slightly hesitant I continued, "I trust your teaching."

"Good. Now, close your eyes and touch your ring," I did as she said, "Think of the first thing that has been troubling you."

Home and Loki's words

"Once it is in your mind say what I say...I call out to the spirits watching over me. If one of you holds the wisdom I need, I summon you."

"I call out to the spirits watching over me. If one of you holds the wisdom I need, I summon you."

"I call out to the spirits watching over me. If one of you holds the wisdom I need, I summon you."

I glanced around the room in search of some sign of a spirit. Sighing disappointedly, I opened my mouth to say something to the Ancient One, screeching instead when a hand placed itself on my shoulder. Whipping around, I gasped in shock.

"Frigga."

The woman smiled warmly, pulling me into a tight hug.

"I missed you my dear," Frigga looked my over as any mother would, "I've been watching over you. It was obvious who would help you."

Ancient One stepped back into one of the corners, watching but not hovering as I spoke with Frigga. She was letting me finish this on my own.

"Your status has always bothered you. Why is that?"

"I'm not meant to be a royal. They're supposed to lead from the palace. I fight on the field. They see themselves higher than others, even if they rule their people perfectly. Their contentedness and perception just aren't...They aren't me."

"I understand. Loki is the one who brought this into your mind, didn't he?"

"He knew me so well, and knew exactly how to hurt me."

"I understand. But the Loki who attacked New York wasn't my son, and he wasn't your friend. Don't feel guilt or anger, you did everything just right."

"Thank you Frigga."

"As for your status, it is something you can't change. You may not fit the mold, but that has allowed you to do all of this. You see the universe in a different light, and have taken the first step forwards for your planet. Be proud of who you are, a princess who can kick ass."

"Valhalla has changed you," I whispered in awe, staring up at the woman who had been my role model for years.

"More than you know dear," Frigga pulled me into another hug, "My time is up, there are still people who want to talk to you."

"More people?"

"You're quite popular. I love you dear, you're on the right path. Remember that."

I blinked and Frigga was gone. Smiling, I rubbed under my eyes, smearing the tears that had escaped. Turning back to the Ancient One, she made a motion with her hands, silently telling me that I could move on by myself. I closed my eyes and thought over what was bothering me next.

My mistakes with Steve

"I call out to the spirits watching over me. If one of you holds the wisdom I need, I summon you."

I opened my eyes slowly, my body jolting when I was met with a stern gaze. It was a large man, with warriors paint across his skin. There was something familiar about him, something I couldn't quite-

"Oh my Atreya," I took a step back in shock. I knew exactly who that was. It was the first man I had ever killed, all those years ago on Asgard. What was he doing here? "You were watching over me?"

"Many tried and failed to kill me," his voice was deep and gravelly, on Earth it would have been compared to a smoker's, "You fought valiantly, and ended my life. I thought it only fair I watch over yours."

"And you can teach me about guilt?"

"Well you felt guilty about killing me didn't you?" The man smirked slightly, "In any case, I've felt different forms of guilt before. Guilt over the path I took, and guilt over lost love."

"Really?" I was a bit more interested in his story than I was his advice at this point.

"Yes, but she was killed because of my choices. Guilt is a monster that will kill you in a more painful way than any weapon. Love is a treacherous path, with many dips and turns. Mistakes can be made, and that can change your path, but love cannot be changed. Challenging your guilt will never work. Keep it, let it be a lesson. But don't let it destroy you."

"I understand. Thank you. Um, I'm sorry for taking your life."

The man gave me a small smile. It was a strange, gentle thing to see on his harsh face.

"It's alright. You fought for your cause, I fought for mine. Goodbye Princess (Y/n)."

"Oh, wait!" I cried out, taking a step forward, "What's your name?"

"Usun Alzas."

"Usun Alzas," I whispered to myself, committing it to memory, "Thank you again."

Just like last time, I blinked and he was gone. There was just one more issue that I needed help with. It was the most confusing one that was created by Ultron.

Who am I?

"I call out to the spirits watching over me. If one of you holds the wisdom I need, I summon you."

After I opened my eyes everything seemed different. I was no longer in the main temple of Kamar-Taj. I was back home, in one of the fields near the country home. It looked like Spring, full of Danflorn flowers. But instead of their normal sweet scent, it was something different. After a moment of trying to put my finger on it, I placed it. It was Steve's cologne.

"It is quite beautiful," a silvery voice spoke from behind me. They had the same accent I did, hinting that they were Orveonian. Interested to see who it was, I spun around, mouth falling open in shock.

"Oh my Atreya."

The woman smiled. That small gesture filled me with warmth and comfort, "That is my name. It is lovely to finally meet you in person (Y/n)."

"Oh my Atreya," I said again, so overwhelmed I felt as though I was going to pass out, "You're here. You- You're here. You look just like the paintings and statues but you're more beautiful. Chon wurn."

"Yes, I suppose this is a lot to take in," Atreya made a small motion with her hand. A table and two chairs appeared in the middle of the field, a tea set on top of it, "Sit down, while I am here to help you, there is so much more you can learn."

"Alright," I sat down in one of the seats, looking at the full cup in front of me. It smelt like ahof. Similar to tea on Earth, but ten times better in my opinion. I hadn't had any since I left home.

"You are a very special Orveonian (Y/n)," Atreya sat down across from me, her white dress flowing with her movements, "You're different, and that has put you on a difficult path. Elaborate."

"Too alien for Earth, too human for space," I muttered the haunting words from my vision, "I...I like fighting. I don't like people getting harmed, but there's something about it that I can't out my finger on. A pride that comes with winning. It scares me. I'm supposed to be prim and peaceful. I shouldn't have left home. I should have stayed there and been content with the self defense training and magic we had. But I wasn't."

"I don't see it that way," Atreya took a small drink from her own cup, "You are not just one or the other. Or too much of something. You are both human and alien. You are the bridge that connects the two worlds. You see Earth in a perspective they lack, and yet you love them, and fight for them. You can be connected to people and places on both planets. You are more special than you realize (Y/n)."

"Both human and alien," I whispered to myself. I liked the sound of that. I liked the thought of that. I had never thought of it that way. Every around me, including myself, thought that it had to be one or the other. Alien or human, and I was neither. I was never one or the other. I was both, and that was okay, "I can be both?"

"You are both. You can't control it, you were born to be who you are. You will do amazing things. I have a vision for you (Y/n), but the first step is accepting who you are. Don't be afraid to stand up straight and yell 'I am here'!"

"Thank you Atreya. This was- wow this was a lot. I never thought I would be meeting the creator of our world."

"Well it wasn't necessarily me," Atreya blushed at my compliment, "I held the Reality Stone at the time, and I created a home and your people. They've evolved well. Is there anything you would like to know before you are sent back?"

"There's a lot of things I want to know," I laughed nervously, "Um...If I were to ever visit home, would my parents be mad?"

"No. They will be conflicted, but will celebrate all the same."

"Are you like God? Earth has their religions. And ours revolves around you. You created all of us in your image after all."

Atreya hummed, "I suppose I'm similar to a deity. After the death of my mortal form, I became what I am now."

"Oh. That's- I'm sorry it's just that we worship you and now I'm meeting you so..."

"I understand," Atreya stood up from her seat, "I suppose I should send you back now."

"Yes. Thank you. Knowing you're the one giving me advice, it means a lot."

Atreya put a hand on my shoulder,  pulling my into a gentle hug. It was nice, and felt very motherly. She stroked a hand through my hair, smiling brightly.

"Your people, your planet, are my greatest creation. And you, Princess (Y/n), you are my most unique. Stay true to who you are, I'll be guiding you. Goodbye."

"Goo-"

Before I could finish my goodbye, I woke up on the floor of Kamar-Taj. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes to wipe the drowsiness from them. I was tired. Whether it was from the exertion from summoning spirits, or from how much my brain had to process. How much wisdom was bestowed upon me in such a short amount of time.

"You were off with Atreya for a long while," Ancient One's voice flowed through the room, "It is the day you were meant to leave."

"Oh!" I jumped up, brushing off my pants, "Wow, time must work differently where we were, it only seemed like I was talking to her for a few minutes."

"I came to say goodbye," Ancient One bowed her head in respect, "Whether or not you choose to leave now, I can put off my business no longer. It was an honor to teach you, Your Majesty."

"It was an honor to be taught by you Ancient One," I bowed my head in response, "I truly feel as though I have found myself."

"That is what I hoped for. Come back at any time, Kamar-Taj's doors are always open to you."

"I'm certain I will return at some point in the future. Goodbye Ancient One."

Ancient One walked off. I went through a different door to my room. Inside, I packed up the items I had slowly taken out, and changed my clothes. Checking the time, I confirmed that I had spent nearly a day with Atreya. I had to go home. Back to society, the other Avengers, and Steve. I missed them, I really did.

I slung one of my bags over my shoulder and pulled the other one behind me. While I was leaving I made sure to track down those I had become close with during the short time I had been at Kamar-Taj. After mutual wishes of good luck and goodbyes, I was off.

Stepping onto the streets from Kamar-Taj was like entering a different world. I took a few short seconds to take it all in before beginning my effort to hail a cab. I had a sling ring, but I didn't want to scare the airport workers by appearing out of thin air suddenly. That and, sling rings weren't exactly my forte.

I hailed a cab and took it to the airport. After I greeted the workers who met me last time, I boarded the quinjet, setting a course for the Avengers compound. Staring out the window to get one last look at Nepal, I sighed in content. When autopilot was confirmed, I slumped down in the pilot's seat, pulling out my phone.

Heading home. Be there in around 10 hours

Got a surprise waiting for you ;D

Chuckling at Steve's use of 'emojis', I leaned my head against the headrest of the chair. Sleeping for a while wouldn't be so bad.

~*~

"You have arrived at your destination."

Groaning tiredly, I slowly got up from my chair. Ten hours of on and off sleep. Not bad.

Grabbing my bags, I opened the back and stepped off of the quinjet. The familiar smell of the New York air was pleasant, and welcome. While I was taking my time waltzing off of the ship, the majority of the Avengers ran out to greet me, Wanda taking my bags from my hands.

"Steve is waiting for you on the roof," Nat winked, "You can tell all of us about your trip tomorrow."

"Thanks you guys," I gave everyone a quick hug, "All of you are amazing."

I walked into the compound, politely smiling at the few workers I passed. When I reached the elevator, the system recognized me and automatically took me up to the roof. As soon as I stepped out, the scent of burning candles wafted towards my nose.

"What's all of this?" I grinned upon seeing Steve holding up two glasses of wine in front of some snack foods.

"A welcome back dinner," Steve motioned for me to sit down on a large blanket placed near the edge, "Surprise."

"This is wonderful," I took a sip of the wine, "You didn't have to go through all this trouble."

"It wasn't trouble," Steve assured me, "So what happened at Kamar-Taj?"

"More than you could imagine," I pulled a few crackers out of the packet, "My shoulder has healed nicely by the way. Anyways, I learned unimaginable amounts and magic and- Oh! I found my artifact."

I held up my right hand to showcase the Talisman, "I don't think I can take it off...Ever. But it's fine because it's incredibly helpful and powerful. It has a personality of its own. It helped me figure out who I was by summoning spirits. I talked to Frigga about home and my status, the first man I killed about guilt, and Atreya about-"

"Wait, hang on, Atreya as in your God Atreya?"

"She called herself a deity but yeah. She gave me advice that made a lot of things more clear. I've got a ways to go, but I finally feel like I know who (Y/n) Vala Altovar is. That was a lot, sorry," I laughed slightly, embarrassed, "What happened here while I was away?"

"(Y/n) Vala Altovar," Steve seemed a bit spaced out, "Altovar."

"Steve?" I put a hand on his shoulder to bring him back to Earth.

He abruptly stood, pulling me up with him.

"You said you know who (Y/n) Vala Altovar is, but there's something you're missing...Your last name should be Rogers."

"Steve," heart pounding against my chest, I took a step back as he got down on one knee.

"Last time I did this it was a spur of the moment thing and, well, you saw how that worked out. We've been through a lot together, and even with bumps in the road we've gotten through it. I want forever to be like that. So, (Y/n), will you marry me?"

Emotion swelled in my chest. He tried again. He didn't give up on me. Honestly, if he would have asked me at any point before Kamar-Taj I would have said no again. But this time, there was nothing holding me back.

"Yes!"

Steve sighed in relief, standing up to slide the ring onto my finger, kissing me soon after. I sighed happily, running my fingers through his soft hair.

"I wish I could have asked your parents permission," Steve mumbled, thumb tracing circles on my hip.

"Be happy you didn't. I'll have to tell them at some point though. Maybe they'll come to Earth for the wedding."

"The press'll love that. I'm the first man to marry an alien after all."

"Mhm," my lips found Steve's again, "But, I'm a little human too. On the inside."