This was written for a very close friend of mine who I believe doesn't have Wattpad, but her art Instagram is minty.calico and you should check her out. Owen's a mage who's made a mistake. He's explaining it to his sister Vanessa in the mono.

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Nessie, I've done something bad. I've done something really bad.

I had to heal someone on the battlefield. They were hurt, and I was there, and it's my job to heal the wounded on the battlefield. Only this someone was really hurt, badly hurt, and my mind went straight to the last resort.

You know the book I found in those old ruins a year ago? The dark healer's spellbook? I used something from there.

It worked. I suppose that's some consolation.

And I'll admit I planned it all out, but I never thought I'd do it. I never thought I'd go through with the plan. I made it out of boredom, one day, collected materials, carried them around for just in case. Just in case someone needed me. But I never thought I'd do it.

And then the moment arrived, and I did it, and now I've ruined myself.

There were other ways, weren't there? I hope I haven't left a scar. There had to have been other ways. I could have taken them to a healer, I could have healed them myself in any, *any* other way. I hope I haven't left a scar. That'd make two of us.

I don't know what's going on. I should have, I should have researched, I should have looked ahead, found ways to combat the things that would happen to me but I didn't *know* what would happen to me. I didn't know I'd do it.

And it's not just a simple thing, is it? It can't just be simple. It's following me, the spell, I can feel its shadow looming wherever I go, and there's always the ringing in my ears. It's awful, it's so awful. Nessie, I think I've cursed myself.

I think I might be dying, and I don't think there's a cure.