》Michael《
05⁰⁰

I had a nightmare about Isabella's death... I jumped up...

I looked at the date... on the one hand, I didn't want to get out of bed because Isabella had been dead for 10 years, on the other hand, my daughter had her 10th birthday...

- Dad, are you sleeping? - Mia asked as she peeked into my bedroom

- No... Happy birthday, you have a birthday

- Dad... I know she's dead... - she sat down on my bed - And I know she died 10 years ago... I don't want birthdays. I understand that you are sad. Don't pretend to be happy for me...

- You're loved... But daughter, I managed somehow for 9 years. Now I can do it too... I love you... I'm sure Isabella would like you to have a wonderful birthday

- He shakes his head at no

- Is she here?

- There - she pointed to the chair where Isabella always sat with a book

- Can she hear me?

- He nods yes

I hoped that by keeping Mia able to see Isabella's ghost, I would be able to talk to my dead wife

- Mia, can you hear her? Is she saying something to you?

- Shows... Alishia said it was sign language

Isabella did know sign language, because her mother was deaf... I also learned it from Isabella so that I could talk to her mother

- Can you tell me what she thinks about your idea?

Mia looked at the chair for a moment and then motioned, "Let the little girl decide if she wants to have a birthday. Don't make her angry"

- Mia, I agree... If you don't want a birthday, I won't throw a party, but I'll give you a gift because I bought it before.

- Okay... Daddy, can I sleep with you?

- I don't think it's worth it to go to bed for an hour or two...

- Then tell me more about her

- Is she still sitting in armchair?

- Yes

- Isabella always sat there and read...

- What was she reading?

- Come... I still have those books.

I led her to one of the rooms where the library was.

- Dad, are you mad at me?

- No, why should I?

- 'Cause she's dead, 'cause I've been born

- Baby... - I hugged her - I'm the happiest in the world to have you... - I started crying - the only thing I regret is Isabella's death... I wish she had been with us when you were learning to walk and when you started talking... You're not to blame...

- But it was the fact that I was born that killed her

- Childbirth killed her. Not you... My little one... - I kissed her forehead - If we had lost you that day, we would have both killed ourselfs...

- Why? You could have another child

I was stunned...

- Dad, why do you always look different?

- 'Cause I feel bad about the way I look

- Do you think when I'm big I'll be as tall as Uncle Erms?

- I don't know, baby... Come to Dad... - I picked her up so she could see the world from Erms' eye level. - Cool?

- Yes. Daddy, will you see if I've grown?

I put her on the ground.

- Come on...

We went to her room, where we checked on the door frame from time to time to see how much she had grown

I measured her

- Have I grown?

- Yes. 1.97 inches. You're 4'5"

- When will I be as big as you?

- Baby... calmly... Until you are at least 15 years old, you are growing. You still have 5 years old.

- Well... Can I braid your hair?

- Please. - I sat down on the floor

- You can't sleep or what? - Alishia asked as she peeked into Mia's room

- No... - I replied

- What's wrong? You look like you've been just taken down from the cross...

- Nothing... it's today...

- Michael - She sat down on the ground in front of me and grabbed my hands - It's been 10 years. You have two wonderful daughters... I have no idea how you feel because you're my first true love, but I want to help you.

- For the past 10 years, I've been letting Mia brush my hair and do my makeup... I wanted to act for her as her father and as her mother...

- I'm still standing here - Mia said

- Mike, you need to shake it off...