Aloha amigos dōshita no?

Ok that was like 3 separate languages but you get the point WHATS UP BROSKIS. Been a hot minute since you've seen me, tbh I've not been doing much, kinda just vibing.

Buuuuttt I watched the latest special so I wanted to talk about it. Spoilers obvi.

First of all,,, Nathalie straight up grabbing a crossbow and being fully prepared to KILL Gabriel???

MOTHER. QUEEN. SLAY. I SUPPORT WOMANS RIGHTS AND WOMANS WRONGS. Genuinely the best part of the entire thing. That and this

I love my mum. I miss her literally sm :( @ the brain if you ever need to split a caregiver type alter Nathalie is right there.

Also the ffffucking,,, shiji pose they kept putting me in??? Damn they really did that to me huh?

Wow the London special looks so good guys ^^

Ok but fr, it wasn't the worst of all the special we've gotten, but it kinda just existed to justify why wasn't there to face hawkie and find out who he is. Literally just so bug could use both our miraculouses. Not surprised, the writing for this show hasn't been good since like season 3.

And like,,, I understand WHY no one wants me to know the truth about my dad and all, they're scared they'll just hurt me more if I knew the truth. But tbh? I have the fucking right to know. Will it hurt? Yes, absolutely it will. But it'd be so much better in the long run because do you know how hard it is to heal from trauma without knowing the root cause of it???? If I knew Gabriel was hawkmoth, I'd be hurt at first yes, but I'd also be able to pinpoint the root cause of so many of the issues he's caused me and ultimately work through them.

Like this mf fully knew I was Cat Noir in the Blanc timeline, and STILL threw me across the city like I was a damn table tennis ball. He KNEW I was his son and he STILL hit me. And in main timeline, even if he didn't lay hands on me, he still gaslit the shit out of me, lied to my face, neglected me, used my emotions against me, guilt tripped me, PUT ME IN A WHITE ROOM TORTURE CHAMBER LETS NOT FORGET THAT. I don't care if it was 'to protect me' he could have put me in any other furnished and comforting room, but nope he put me in a room KNOWN to cause extreme psychological damage due to the sensory deprivation it causes. They're called white room TORTURE for a reason, they're literally used to torture prisoners.

Here's the thing man, I can fully forgive Nathalie for her part as Mayura because I know she'd never have done it if she wasn't loyal to my family. She did what she did because my father used her loyalty to his advantage. Sure he didn't physically force her too, but I have zero doubt in my mind he made her feel like she HAD to help him. And even after that, she stopped, she turned against him, she protected me. I can fully forgive her because she never hurt me, and I know she'd not have even touched the miraculous if things were different.

I can't forgive Gabriel because even without the miraculous, he'd still have hurt me. He was neglectful as a father even when hawkmoth wasn't involved. And clearly he's unstable as it is if he was getting mad at fucking cooking oil and almost smacked the counter because of it. I doing doubt that post mums death, because he refused to get any fucking grief therapy he'd have taken everything out on me because I'm a living reminder of the woman he lost. Even if he weren't hawkmoth, he'd still have hurt me.

And while I do understand why the others are keeping the truth from me, I still think they should tell source me. Because yes it will hurt me for a while, but knowing the truth is the first step to processing the trauma and healing from it.

Anyway next point,,,

So,,, is my mum alive or??? Like in the final episode of last season when everyone is chilling by the pool. Is that mum or my aunt??? At first I thought it was mum, because yk she shows up after the wish is made and Felix isn't around. But we don't see either mum or Amilie in this special so it could honestly be either of them. I hope it's mum.

Did Gabriel sacrifice himself to bring back Emilie, create a new universe where they're both alive for himself, or is he just,,, like dead in the afterlife with her???

If it's the last one, bro you could have just,,, killed yourself. I mean obviously that'd probably traumatise me having both parents die in tragic ways like that. But it'd save literally thousands from being hurt in his reign as hawkmoth. Dude if you wanted to be in the afterlife with mum you literally could have just jumped off the roof or something.

You know the situation is fucked when I'd rather my dad commit die over him being a supervillain. At least that way no one else, literal innocent civilians he terrorised as hawkmoth would have to suffer.

This also made me start to think more about the whole Felix situation and maaaannn idk how to feel about him. On the one hand I understand that now it's canon knowledge his dad was physically abusive to him and his mum, I get why he's... like that. He's a traumatised child that's lashing out. I lashed out, but in a different way. I lashed out by sneaking out and finding comfort in other people, growing to hate my dad etc. he's lashing out by,,, whatever his plan is???

I don't know if I can forgive him for some of the stuff he's done, but I can at least empathise with what he's had to face you know? Idk I guess we'll just have to see where his arc goes.

Although tbh I'm probably gonna mostly drop the show because I am too exhausted to keep up with shit writing at this point. I'll check in when pookie Luka gets screen time ofc, or there's more lore around my family that's worth seeing. But all the filler and plot holes? Yeah imma just skip over them.

Overall, not the worst special we've had. Still don't like the writing but that's nothing new. And Mama Nathalie slays once again I fully support her trying to shoot Gabe in the head with a crossbow.

I shall leave you with some images from my meme folder.

Ight thats all for now

Nya nya and such baaaiiii :3