Adopted Ch. 23 Empty Meaning
The birds took flight.
Suzume stared after Gaara who was clearing the streets of all living beings as he headed back to the mansion. She adjusted the backpack on her back and jogged after him. When she caught up, she grabbed her brother's hand and pulled him along.
"Suzume?" Gaara held a question in his voice and he gazed at the back of his sister's head.
Suzume was starting to pant once the run extended past her limit. They managed to get to the mansion and into the backyard where Suzume let go of Gaara's hand and doubled over to compose herself. Gaara stood silently watching and waiting and once Suzume caught her breath, she took off her backpack to lower to the ground and unzipped it to pull out the bag of birdseed. She straightened up and took her brother's hand once more to lead him over to the Japanese maple.
Suzume whistled and Gaara saw the birds gather to her call. They landed a fair distance away from them, warily avoiding the area around the redhead.
Suzume stepped forward and poured a generous amount of seed into her palm. She crouched down and offered the food to the birds and they hopped closer to her. Suzume scooched inch by inch back toward Gaara, coaxing the birds nearer, and tugged on his sleeve once she was close enough. Gaara quietly sank to Suzume's level and she tipped the food into his hands. He held it like it was a fragile treasure.
The birds stood stone still for a straining second and Suzume tweeted a little for reassurance. One bird took up the courage to venture forward. Gaara froze up when the animal rested its weight on his thumb and pecked at the seeds. Soon, the bird looked relaxed and the guardedness of the rest vanished. Gaara was bedecked by little birds.
His round eyes snapped onto Suzume, as if asking what he should do. He was so stiff, he didn't dare breathe.
Suzume grinned from ear to ear.
Gaara relaxed slightly and a bird playfully pecked his ear. He smiled at it.
_ _ _
"Suzume, this isn't going to work."
"What isn't, sensei?"
Suzume was standing in front of her sensei's desk and the emptiness of the classroom made the space larger, everything felt larger.
"You aren't suited to be a shinobi."
The entire ceiling crashed over her. Suzume's hands wouldn't stop shaking and she balled them into fists at her side. "Is it because of what happened at the field trip? I promise it won't happen again, it-it was just, that I—"
A sigh interrupted her and the teacher rubbed her eyes from under her eyeglasses. "Look, you're a good kid. I admit that I didn't like how you came into this school abusing your surrogate family's privileges but I came to realize you really are trying. You study hard and you've passed all of your exams thus far with a score exceeding anybody else's, but you have no combat skills. At the rate you're going, you won't even be a genin in your mid-twenties."
Suzume couldn't find anything to say as her teacher continued.
"You have to accept that you can't be something you were never meant to be. No amount of determination will grant you something only talent can give."
The ticking of the clock spun around Suzume's head. She lowered her eyes to stare down at the floor. "I won a sparring match recently."
"Against a six year old," her teacher said without mercy.
Suzume's bottom lip quivered then they stilled. "When you said, 'keep up the good work' what did you mean?"
The answer she got was silence; and it was enough.
"Oh." Her voice was mechanical and hollow. "It was my mistake."
Suzume was walking back home after school. Thinking, muttering, she didn't notice the crows that had gathered around her, swirling in the air with her as the epicenter.
"Sleep on it," were her teacher's words of farewell, "but you should decide whether you'll leave the Institute or not soon."
"Shotai Kazekage Reto, Nidaime Kazekage Shamon, Sandaime Kazekage Kizo, Yondaime Kazekage Rasa STOP. Shotai Hokage Senju Hashirama, Nidaime Hokage Senju Tobirama, Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen, Yondaime Hokage Namikaze Minato, Godaime Hokage Senju Tsunade STOP. Shotai Tsuchikage Ishikawa, Nidaime Tsuchikage Mu, Sandaime Tsuchika—"
She only broke out of her reverie when a rock smacked against her head and the warmth of blood made a river through her pale surface. She turned to look at the boy who had been the one to draw her blood and all of the crows followed her gaze. The boy took a step back, cowering in fear.
"Freak!" he screamed before running away.
Suzume didn't react. A crow landed on her shoulder and she went back to walking down the road.
_ _ _
Temari fidgeted in her seat and her eyes strayed around the room. A smile played on her lips and she kept having to reread the same sentence in a report, trying to actually absorb what it's saying.
Tonight, the whole family was going to cook dinner together to celebrate Suzume's triumph during sparring at school.
Temari could still see the excited mien her sister had when they brought it up during breakfast. It was their attempt at cheering her up after the recent incident. Suzume became especially jumpy and somehow regressed back into her nervous state from her early days in the mansion. Whatever happened in that well scarred her.
By her request, the shinobi didn't look into the case, and for her sake they never mentioned it again.
But after bringing up cooking together, Suzume broke out of her depression and returned to her—Temari didn't know how to explain it— more spirited self?
"We'll eat under the maple," Suzume had said with her lightened face. "Just like we used to."
Noticing it was already half past five, Temari shoved all of her stuff haphazardly into her bag and slung it over her shoulder to rush out of the office.
"Temari-san!"
Temari reluctantly paused in her step and scowled. She'd been so close to escape.
Turning around, she snapped at her subordinate, "What?"
"The higher ups are calling for you." The man shrunk under her sharp gaze. "A meeting is to be held five minutes from now."
"Why do they need me?" she spat.
"I-I don't know. They just told me to tell you to come."
Temari sighed and checked her watch. These meetings usually take six hours which means she'll get home by eleven at night. Way too late. But if she didn't attend, those ancient bags won't let her hear the end of it.
"Alright, fine," she settled wearily. "Thanks for giving me the message."
The man hung his head. "What about your family dinner? You were really looking forward to it."
"I'll make it up to her." Temari trudged back to her office to unpack. "Probably..."
Temari had the essential materials ready in her hands and was about to leave for the meeting when the glinting of the phone caught her eye. Her face fell and she reached out her free hand to pick up the receiver and dial her home phone.
After the third ring, her sister's voice answered. "Hello, Kazekage residence."
"Suzume, it's me."
"Temari!" The glee in her voice made a knot in Temari's throat. "You'll be here soon, right? I have everything ready and waiting. I bought Kankuro's favorite, hamburgers. He's going to be so happy!"
"About that..." Temari felt her insides burn with guilt. "I won't be able to make it. I was called for a meeting and I can't miss it."
There was silence on the other line for a tense moment. "Oh, okay. Then you can't do anything about it. I'll make sure to put some food aside for you."
Temari closed her eyes. "Sorry... I'm sorry, Suzume."
"Don't be," Suzume said. "It's work. I'll let you go now. See you."
"Yeah." The line went dead.
Temari settled into her seat in the conference room, straight-backed and professional, when all she wanted to do was collapse into the chair. She was the first one to arrive as always.
Temari's eyes reluctantly raised up to land on the statue of her father. Her gaze bored into the stone and she drifted into her memories.
"Why isn't tou-san here?" a younger, chattier Kankuro said from across the dining table, glaring at the empty seat at the head.
Their maid responded, "Kazekage-sama is very busy with work, Kankuro-sama."
"But, he promised!" tears threatened to fall from the boy's eyes and he fought hard against them. "Today's Temari's birthday!"
"Kankuro," Temari said firmly but reassuringly. "It's fine. There'll be other times."
He stuck out his bottom lip and wiped away the dampness from his eyes. "You said that last year too."
The memory slowly faded away and Temari ripped her gaze away from the likeness of her father's face. The sound of the door groaning open and then shutting made her turn. She jumped to her feet.
"Kankuro!"
The puppeteer was wearing the same amount of surprise. They pointed at each other. "Why're you here?!"
The door opened again to eject a redhead. At the sight of his siblings, Gaara's eyes expanded.
Temari stood there speechless. This couldn't get any worse.
They didn't even need to be at the meeting. The old men and women all but ignored them through the entire six hour span. The three couldn't speak up to ask why they were called since the strict rule for them was always speak only when spoken to. And only when the meeting was getting to its conclusion did one of the advisors address them.
"From now on, you three will be involved in these conferences as the children of the previous Kazekage. Because you're his offspring, you're candidates for the position of Godaime and you'll act as such. Hopefully you'll be able to learn something from it."
Up. Yours.
The young shinobi waited respectfully (impatiently) for the elders in the room to exit before they took their leave. After the last person stepped out of the room, the three of them bolted to their feet and toward the door.
"Do you think she's still up?" Kankuro asked as they speed walked toward the private quarters.
"I don't know," Temari answered. "But either way we should get there asap."
"Then, I'll be going ahead." Gaara's body simplified into sand and he disappeared.
"Hate it when he does that," Kankuro grumbled.
Temari sniffed in agreement.
"Young lady. May I have a word?"
"Isn't he calling you?"
"What lady?" Temari muttered under her breath, speeding up. "I'm no lady."
"Temari-san."
"He's definitely calling you."
Temari groaned. "Catch up with Gaara, I'll be with you in a few."
Kankuro nodded and, after casting a suspicious glance at the approaching advisor, went on his way.
"Councilman Toge," Temari lowered her head in a bow. "How may I help you?"
"As well-behaved as always, Temari-san." He smiled, his voice slippery and disgustingly silky. "How I would kill to have you as a granddaughter instead of my rebellious one at home. All she does is slack off and run off somewhere with her 'friends'."
"Yes," Temari said, using all her experience dealing with these people to keep the annoyance from leaking into her tone.
"I hear you and your brother have become Chunin recently," the man continued. "Quite a feat for someone your age."
"Not at all."
"Ah, so modest." He placed a warty hand on her shoulder. "It must've been hard ever since your father passed away. You're quite admirable to take up the position as your house head, the job of watching over that monster was handed over to you too."
Temari stiffened.
"I think you should be rewarded." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "What do you think about inheriting your father's position?"
She took a step back, brushing off his grip on her. "I couldn't."
"But why not?" He closed the gap again. "You're strong, you're smart, you're the first born; I don't see what the problem is. You'd make an excellent Kazekage."
"I think the occupation is more suitable for the strongest shinobi in our family, and I certainly am not the strongest."
"You underrate yourself, Temari-san," Toge bared his teeth in an unsettling smile. "Who else is suitable for the job? Your brother might be the next choice—"
"Kankuro isn't interested," Temari said hurriedly.
"Oh, I'm not going to cast you aside, dear. You're the best choice after all. Don't worry, I'll support you, and I'm sure others will agree as well."
"I think you're forgetting I have more than one brother."
"Hm?" the man's lips stretched further up his face. "You mean the jinchuuriki."
"Gaara is the best choice, not me."
Toge rumbled out laughter. "You jest, Temari-san. I'll see the dead rise again before that thing becomes Kazekage."
Temari's insides were boiling. "I have no intention of stealing my brother's position. Now if you'll excuse me."
She turned her feet toward home.
"You wouldn't want your precious little sister hurt, would you?"
Temari paused in her step and she turned back around to face the man. If looks could kill. "Are you threatening me?" she spat.
"I'm encouraging you." Toge stretched his mouth further. "Like a donkey is made to trot by dangling bait in front of it."
"Touching our sister will only land you in jail. I've heard your confession right here, right now."
"As expected from the former Kazekage's runt," he sneered. "But I'd watch yourself if I were you, missy."
"And I'd suggest," a hand landed on the old man's shoulder, "you practice what you preach, Councilman Toge."
Toge whirled around to see a slender man with tied back gray hair. Wrinkles were set into his skin and his eyes were glazed dully. He smiled at the man. "We wouldn't want to be seen harassing one of Yondaime's children."
"Councilman Sakyu," Toge tightened his mouth into a line. "I thought you took your leave."
"Clearly." Sakyu's face split into a smile. "And it would bring peace to the world if you were to take your own leave, peer."
Toge multiplied in size until he looked like a deranged boar. "Now, see here, Sakyu—!"
"Ah-ah-ah-ah." Sakyu cast glances around and placed a finger on his lips. "The walls have ears," his eyes flickered back to Toge, "and they're eager to talk."
The man diminished at his words but smoke was still releasing from his ears.
"You wouldn't want them to talk," Sakyu smirked, "would you, Toge?"
Almost as if the words had abandoned him, Toge opened and closed his mouth like a dying fish and, after he failed to find them again, huffed theatrically and went on his way.
Sakyu sighed. "They're such overgrown children."
"Thank you, Sakyu-dono," Temari bowed. "I appreciate your assistance."
"My pleasure, Temari-san," he bowed in return. "Now, I really must be going. I have mountains on my desk at home."
"Travel safely."
"Ah, one more thing," Sakyu turned around and something undefinable shadowed across his expression. "Take good care of your sister."
Temari nodded and watched the man go until he rounded a corner and couldn't be seen anymore. She slowly rotated around to start walking home when something stopped her.
"Baki," Temari gave him a once over, "you're back."
"I am," he replied briskly and the look he was giving her told her the rest.
"Don't. Start," she hissed, shoving passed him.
"How could you be so stubborn?!" Baki stormed after her. "What happened just now, Temari?! Wasn't that evidence enough for you to see I was right? You'll get yourself killed!"
"We'll deal with it somehow." Temari was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Baki. "We'll get through this somehow."
"You're deluded."
"Let me be!" Temari bellowed at him, bolting away down the corridor.
"What do you think Suzume wants?" Baki yelled after her. "How about you let her choose?!"
The last thing she heard as she rounded the corner was, "She won't be there when you get home!"
Her heart drummed and she forced her feet to pick up the pace.
_ _ _
After getting the calls from Kankuro and Gaara with the same message and apology as Temari, Suzume was at a loss. She became aware of how many clocks they had when they synchronized their ticking. The house felt denser somehow.
She looked over the groceries on the table and then to the lanterns she already lit in the backyard, lighting the red leaves of the maple aglow. The fresh flowers she placed on Hisoka's grave fluttered in the desert breeze.
Shaking herself out of her trance, she went about putting away the perishables and others into the refrigerator and cabinets, then stepped outside to blow out the candles. She heaved the kotatsu and the blankets she laid out back inside.
Suzume supposed it was a good thing they didn't have the dinner because now she had time to clean up the house. Pulling out the cleaning supplies, she tied a bandanna on her head and went to work.
She was wiping down the training room when she heard someone in the kitchen. Slipping once on the slippery floor, she stumbled out of the sparring room and down the servant's staircase to burst into the dining room and run into the kitchen.
"Did the meeting end early?!"
Baki was standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen and Suzume's smile vanished. She quickly fixed her disheveled self up and bowed her head. "It's been awhile, Baki-sama."
Baki threw himself at her feet in a low bow.
Suzume became flustered, this was the last thing she would have expected. "Eh! Baki-sama! What're you—"
"Please!" Baki boomed out. "Please leave the Kazekage's household!"
Suzume's lips parted.
"They're blinded by compassion and charity! They're trying to mend their past transgressions by doing a service. Despite the enemies that might be conspiring against them at this very moment, they couldn't bear to abandon you! It'll be their downfall!"
Silence pervaded the area and something cold made Baki's hair stand on end and kept his mouth empty as he waited for Suzume's response.
"Do you still think I'm a weakness?" Suzume asked in a weirdly steady voice that broke the quiet.
"Yes." Baki squeezed his eyes shut. "I can't convince them, but you can understand where I'm coming from, Suzume. They could die. Because of you."
Suzume hid her battered hands behind her back and bit down hard on her bottom lip. Why? "Can you give me time to think about it?"
Baki popped his head up, relief coating his features. "Of course."
Why did it end up like this?
Suzume sniffed and wiped away the tears that blurred the floor below her. She kept scrubbing a stain on the floor as her mind raced dizzyingly with overlapping voices.
You're not suited to be a shinobi.
Freak!
Nobody wants you around!
I don't want to accept it!
Suzume is weak.
Have you ever hated yourself so much you wished you could disappear?
Please leave the Kazekage household!
Can't you stop doing that?
I don't want to be scared anymore!
That child has become your weakness!
You think you can survive in our world?! Someone like you won't survive a day!
It's frustrating...! It's so frustrating!
Fall.
Suzume whimpered and then she caved.
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