(CHAPTER THREE :
GO TO HELL, KOL MIKAELSON)

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TIME BECOMES MEANINGLESS AS a vampire. The perks of speed, strength and compulsion are cancelled out by the burden of existential awareness. In my experience, most vampires had a depression and a golden age — we were a stain in the tapestry of history, after all. I thought I was at my worst in the nineties and I was thriving in the present, but I wasn't so sure anymore. According to Kol's witch, I was dancing with death in spite of how I felt as if I were at immortality's peak.

Leaning against the car window, I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. For the first time on the trip, I didn't ask questions about where we were going. After our encounter with the witch in Tapolca, I found the news of my impending death had forced me into reflection. I watched how the world turned still turned on its axis whilst mine crumbled into ruins. Indeed, the weight of the curse cloaked me like a cape of darkness and had taken its toll on me. Without my humanity, it was hard for Kol to notice the tired circles under my eyes weren't from a late night prowl but something more sinister. Every time I tried to sleep, I was haunted by my past in the form of Damon Salvatore. Even when I didn't sleep, I was still haunted — it was just a different ghost.

"You're quiet." The Original mumbled in an off-handed manner. "It's strange, I don't like it." He added, hinting that he would continue to talk with or without a response.

"Well, I don't care what you like." I peeled my face away from the cool glass, irritated how the world proceeded to spin whilst mine was falling apart. "But, if you must know, I'm listening to the music. It's . . . surreal how music has progressed with time. You can get it anywhere you want, at any time you want and you can stop it when you want. One minute, there's this stranger whispering their most private, sinful moments down your ear and then, you can press pause and continue to do something insignificant in comparison to their struggles." I revealed, breathing on the window to mist the glass so I could doodle mindlessly.

He swallowed, shifting in discomfort at the complexity of the one tone, matter-of-fact answer he received. "I — I don't know this song." He scrunched his brow with concentration, a stutter of frustration stemming from his lack of modern music knowledge. "You'll have to catch me up on this century. Nik promised he would, but he's . . . You know." Kol's knuckles turned white at the wheel, wondering if I did know about his brother's ultimate fate. From what he gathered, catching up with old friends over the phone was not on the priority list of my emotionless self.

As I leant over to turn up the radio's volume, my hand came into contact with his arm and I felt a shock of electricity. "It's Shattered by Trading Yesterday." I whispered. "You know, it would be a fitting song if I had my humanity on and you weren't a homicidal maniac." I rotated my body, my attention on what I was writing on the car window. "And if I had my humanity on, I would make you a playlist of all the bands I know you would like. But, since I don't, I'm going to suggest you steal an iPod with pre-downloaded music." I smirked, dotting the exclamation mark with exuberance.

"Or, I can steal yours." He suggested, craning his next from the driver's side to smirk at me — I'd insisted to sit in the back because it was more spacious. However, when his eyes drifted to where I was drawing on the window, the car abruptly swerved before pulling off to the side of the road. Following his unexpected action, I heard a prompt, "What the fuck, Lottie?"

Instantly, I traced his line of sight to the window and my pupils doubled in size at the realisation of what my subconscious wrote. In capital letters, 'HELP!' had been transferred onto the glass window. Bile crawled up my throat and my chest tightened. After a moment of hesitation, my hands flew to the door handle, preparing to bolt for it. However, Kol was smarter than I gave him credit for — and had better reflexes too — so he pressed down on the child locks and knocked me unconscious before I could even debate ripping the door off its hinges.

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MYSTIC FALLS, 2009

Damon Salvatore poured himself a double shot of Bourbon whilst I remained perched on the edge of his mattress, throwing down a tattered copy of Pride and Prejudice in defeat. Kicking my legs upwards, I jumped off the vampire's bed and repressed a small grin at his antics. For the past hour, he had tried everything possible to entice me to join him in finding a human blood bag. Although I wasn't interested in treating humans like he did, I found his constant distractions insufferable and surrendered into at least taking a look at what this new town had on offer.

Walking into the cleverly titled 'Mystic Grill,' Damon found his target in the form of a whiny blonde. Despite him telling me to wait outside whilst he worked his charm, I couldn't help but pity the human after overhearing her drunken complaints. Just as her dark haired friend left for the bathroom, I walked towards where Damon was sat and pulled my friend into an unnecessarily long embrace — from her eyes, I was marking my territory.

"Not her, Day." I told him, noting the teenager's disappointed gaze when I interrupted the intense stare off she was sharing with the hot stranger. "She's been hurt enough for one night." I informed softly, giving the girl a small wave. I faintly recognised her as Caroline Forbes, she stopped my high school guide — Elena — earlier that day in the hallway.

"Fine." He grinded his teeth in annoyance, watching as Caroline asked for the bill, sounding a little more sober than I initially thought when I was listening in on how she was "never the one." "But, I've got to eat. Can't keep stealing the bro's blood bags or he'll know I'm here." Damon pestered, his fangs peeking out in hunger.

Biting my lip, I nodded. "Fine." I repeated more forcefully than he did. "How about him?" I pointed towards a jock that just walked in, smelling faintly of wet dog and arrogance.

Before he could pounce, his knees buckled underneath him. "You did this." He hissed through laboured breathing. "You killed me and her and him." Damon accused, the busy restaurant scene collapsing in front of my eyes until it was just Damon, Caroline, the jock and I in the room.

"I didn't do anything." I argued with the Salvatore, blinking in confusion.

"Stop denying it." Damon demanded, grabbing me by the shoulders. "You're a monster. You've killed thousands of humans and now thousands of vampires too. I hate you, I wish I left you to burn in the sunlight that day." He spat, bringing hot tears to my eyes. Never had I heard him speak with such contempt towards me, his supposed best friend.

Choking back a sob, I remembered what I did, profusely shaking my head in denial. Grunting, I jerked my body with a great amount of force to coerce Alaric into releasing me. When it worked, I pushed the casket forward for protection. With Klaus in prime position, Alaric felt smug that his plan worked out and stabbed the Hybrid in the heart. Seconds following, the body of the man once deemed indestructible was engulfed in flames. It was self-preservation, I never meant to kill Klaus or Damon or any of my other friends.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered as the scene began to change once more. Except, the place was more familiar this time. On the edge of a rooftop, I watched the sky burn. An array of reds, oranges and yellows formed a dreamy palette, the different hues swirling into a watercolour painting. Their was a silk lining surrounding the rare cotton candy clouds that guarded the retreating sun. "Get out of my head, Kol." I seethed in realisation, knowing my mind couldn't be as cruel to transport to the night we lay on the rooftop together.

Kol appeared from behind the chimney with a half-smile, offering me his hand. "I had to do something, I couldn't drive with all the noise you were making. It was the first time I've even seen a hint of emotion from you on this trip." The Original chuckled, attempting to mask his concerned tone. "How long have you been having dreams like that?" Truthfully, his curiosity had peaked. First, the ominous message on the window and now the strange dreams — were these side effects of the curse?

In deep thought, I chewed down on the inner corner of my mouth before accepting his hand. "Well, think about that before you knock me out next time." I rolled my eyes. "And they've been happening since Klaus died. Don't worry, it's not the curse, just my guilt complex. It's incredibly unfortunate you can't turn off your subconscious as well as your emotions." I groaned, infuriated that I potentially showed weakness around the vampire when I had no humanity. "Damon's dead, there's nothing I can do about that." I reminded him, watching as he opened his mouth to no doubt offer some empty comfort that I didn't want.

"Damon isn't — —" I cut the vampire off, disconnecting our hands after realising I had yet to let go.

"Enough!" I screeched, my heart beating wildly at the mention of my best friend from his mouth — the mouth of the man who had tried to hurt him occasion after occasion. "Why did you bring me here? Do you get pleasure out of causing me pain? I can't feel, what sick satisfaction did you get out of bringing me here?" I interrogated, refusing to look him in the eye from where I stood.

Kol stepped closer to me, placing his palm on my cheek. "No, of course not." He denied, turning my head to make our eyes meet. "Is it so hard to believe that I didn't want to watch you get chewed out by old ghosts in the back seat of the car?" Tilting his head to the side, he slowly leaned in as if testing the waters. "Not everything I say or do has an ulterior motive, darling." Only an inch separated us to the point I could smell the blood and mint that lingered on his breath.

Licking my lips, I leaned forward too. "Go to Hell, Kol Mikaelson."

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Immediately, when I stirred, I recognised the sensation of cool metal locked around my wrists and ankles. I pulled down on the chains, screaming in anguish when my skin started to blister and bubble. Clearly, they had been reinforced with vervain.

"Don't you just love waking up to the sound of your hostage screaming?" Somebody mused from in the shadows of the bleak cell. "Lottie, how nice of you to join the land of living again, love." Klaus Mikaelson, the man I supposedly played a hand in killing, revealed himself to be my captor.

"You're meant to be dead." I mumbled in disbelief. If Klaus was alive, Caroline, Tyler, Stefan and Damon were too. Damon. For months, I had my humanity off because I blamed myself for his death . . . yet, he wasn't actually dead? In the time since I left town — distraught and in pieces over what my rash decision making did — he hadn't managed to find a moment to call or at least text me? Destroyed. I was utterly destroyed knowing he quite possibly forgot about me or, worse, hated me as my dreams suggested.

"For a thousand years now." He responded wryly. "Although, I take it you didn't know about my revival given your surprise. I'd be more shocked had you not spent the Summer with my annoying little brother." Klaus concluded, smirking as he began to plot ways to get under my skin. "You know, Kol came back with a certain . . . glow. Spending the Summer with an Original must have been so scandalous, I bet all of your friends despise you now — I'm sure that is not what they mean by keeping your enemies close." The Hybrid taunted.

I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing better than to listen to him. "Where's Kol?" I grunted, wondering why my ex would leave me in the hands of his wicked sibling.

"Ah, he needed a word with the Bennett witch and thought it was about time we settled our differences. That and he seems to want your humanity back on." Harshly, Klaus grabbed my chin and yanked it upwards to meet his eye level. "I don't know what you did to piss him off this bad, but we're going to have so much fun, Charlotte."

"Let the games begin, Niklaus."

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A.N: Wow, this has been a long time coming and I haven't even proof read I was that anxious to post this. So much has happened since I last updated — I met Taylor Swift in June for a start? I applied for college this week? But, I do want to finish this story so expect more updates soon. I'm so glad to have Lottie back in Mystic Falls, even if this was a bit of a filler. I hope the flashback wasn't too confusing because it was a dream memory turned nightmare whilst she was unconscious in the car. I found it interesting to allude to how Lottie was in Season One of TVD because that flashback was a nod towards the Pilot. And I'm don't want to rush her humanity returning but Kol wants it back at this point that it's getting dangerous for it to not care - ominous HELP! messages on car windows? Effects of the curse.

(Song Shattered is linked above, which I think fits who Kol and Lottie are at this point. I'd recommend a listen.)

What have I missed in your lives? Anything interesting? Does anybody still read this book?