Achieving Unbroken
Chapter Seventeen

—

"Say you need your space,
I can read your face
When it gets cloudy, just come and find me"
Atic | Astrid S

—

Jason
[Tuesday, December 6th, 2015]

Mama, Joey, and the twins burst through the door all at once; like a tidal wave of family. The noises made by the four of them (more like three of them) are enough to make Mom and I's heads snap towards the front door in surprise. Mom leaves her post in the kitchen where she was cutting up green onions for dinner. She goes and gives everyone a kiss, but Joey zips out of the room before she can get to him.

Mom, Mama and I share "the look".

I nod, and follow Joey to his room.

"Hey, Bud," I say, opening his door and throwing myself on his bed. While he unpacks his school stuff, he sends me a vicious glare.

"Ever heard of knocking?" He asks, flatly, not making eye contact.

"I'm your older brother. Knocking doesn't exist." I notice him rolling his eyes under his bowed head, and I frown. "Dude, what's wrong? This is too angsty for puberty. Something happened."

"Nothing happened," he attempts. But it's weak.

"There's no way you're gonna convince me of anything by just going 'nothing happened'," I imitate him. He fumes.

"If you don't have a purpose to be here than show yourself out."

This makes me fully sit up. Who is this shell of my kid brother?

"I do have a purpose to be here. Finding out why you've decided to be a dick to everyone."

He sighs, and something in me lifts; I might finally get the truth.

"They were just talking about a girl in my grade who died today. She died last night, but no one knows how. The family didn't wanna open up about the cause, which started lots of rumors."

I'm quiet for a moment, trying to think.

"Who was it? Did you like her? Is that why you're upset?" Something passes over his eyes that I can't decipher. Something dark. Something disturbed. Something untouched.

"Clarity Felds. No, I didn't like like her. We didn't talk a bunch." Joey still won't look at me. He scans his planner, looking at the homework he had for tonight. "It was just weird thinking that someone died, I guess."

I can still sense that there's something he's hiding from me. Is it something that I'm going to find out right now? Probably not. But I hope I will soon.

I get off of the bed, and walk over to him, ruffling his hair and tilting his head up.

"I'm sorry, man. That's really too bad. But try to cheer up, 'kay? Mom's making casserole tonight and she's gonna have a shit fit if you're just pushing it around the plate." He gives me a smile that feels forced.

"Okay."

I give him one last nod, and leave his room, more curious than I was when I came in.

Clarity Felds.

Felds.

Why does that name sound so familiar?

I rack my brain, I think, I think, and I think some more... When my eyes flit across our team pictures from last year, it hits me.

Charlie's little sister died? I didn't even know he had a little sister. Then again, we weren't close, but I can't imagine how I would feel if anything happened to Joey.

Thinking in that perspective, I decide that the next day I'm going to talk to Charlie and tell him that if he needs anything, I'm here.

—

[Saturday, May 18th, 2018]

"Wait, let me get this straight — you let them go through your closet and wear your shirts as dresses to school?" It sounds so weird hearing it coming out of Lilla's mom's mouth, but it's true. Sapphire didn't feel like wearing anything girly, being more of a tomboy; and Diamond saw it as a fashion statement.

She's five, they both are, but they are going places.

"Yes," I laugh, taking another swig of coffee from my mug. "They were so excited to do it, too. I had to draw the line at wearing my shoes. Both of their feet fit in one shoe."

Lilla's face lights up as her laugh rings out; eyes crinkling and nose scrunching up. Emma and her don't look alike physically, but they have the same laugh, and they sound like one person as they laugh at my story.

This feels so weird, I think to myself. I haven't had a carefree breakfast in a year. Everything at home has been so, insanely tense and uncomfortable.

"God, I love little kids. Your sisters are five, yeah?" Lilla asks. I nod. "They sound so cute. I can't wait to meet them."

"That's going to be a dark day for me. They're gonna cast me aside once they have you; they've always dreamed of an older sister. All they got was me, Carl, and... You know." I know that I probably shouldn't have mentioned it, but I'm not in a position to not include him. He was, and always will be, a part of our family. Just because he isn't here anymore doesn't mean he was never here at all.

Both Lilla and her mom acknowledge that, nodding, and continuing conversation like normal.

"Do you spend a lot of time with them?" Emma asks. Bashfully, I look down.

"Yeah, I do. I can braid hair and paint nails, and watch Disney movies to my breaking point. It's weird to have such little kids running around the condo, but it keeps me young," I joke. The women chuckle. "I spend a lot of time with my little brother, Carl, too. The kid's a genius, I can barely keep up with him, and I think that's why he liked you so much," gesturing to Lilla. She develops a soft smile.

"I love him. When I drop you back off at your dad's, you think he'll be awake?" She asks, hopeful. I nod, shrugging. Lilla turns to her mom. "Carl would sit in on my tutoring sessions with Joey, and ask me questions about how much I knew and what I was learning. Him and I both love geometry, and I ended up teaching him a ton of formulas and qualities of right triangles," she explains. Her mom laughs.

"Kids and their math. I can add, subtract, multiply and divide and that's all that I need. Do you like math, Jason?" Emma gets up to clear our plates that have been sitting empty in front of us for the past hour and a half. Lilla does the same, but when I get up to help, she pushes me back into my chair, smiling.

"Nah, I'm more of a history guy myself."

"I love history! Fantastic pick, Lilla." Emma muses. "Keep this one around."

"She won't have to try too hard. I'm sticking around until she dumps me," I cut in before Lilla can say anything. She looks at me, jaw hitting the floor, letting out a light laugh.

"I wouldn't even dream of dumping you."

I must look dumbfounded, because she bursts out laughing, making her mom turn around and away form the kitchen sink.

"If you two need to go back up to Lilla's room to sort some stuff out, feel free. I can leave."

Lilla's eyes pop out of her head, and she spins around and jokingly bangs her head against a cabinet. I rub my forehead with my left hand, feeling a blush coming on.

"Now I see where you get it from, Lilla."

"What?" Her Mom gives us a curious glance, and what I'm referencing finally hits Lilla.

"Oh, yes, that fine conversation about virginity at lunch last week."

"Yes, that one!"

We all laugh, and the sun streams through the open windows of the first floor, illuminating the room. I haven't felt this light-hearted in what feels like ages.

And I don't ever want it to end.