ANAIS

Cookie was latching on my breast, having his morning milk, while I put on my makeup. Today would be my first day of school. I was thrilled and nervous at the same time. It had been more than a year since I attended college. Ayaw ko nga muna sana dahil ayaw kong iwan si Cookie. Six months pa lang kasi siya. He still needed me. But Mom, Dad, and especially Coco had been convincing nonstop to continue my studies. Mom and Dad told me I shouldn't worry about Cookie dahil aalagaan naman nila siya habang nasa school ako.

The window lifted up and in came Coco. Tumigil si Cookie sa pagdede ng makita ang Daddy niya. He babbled cutely as if trying to say something to Coco. His Daddy took him from me.

"How's my little cookie? Did you sleep well?" He kissed him.

"Thank God, you're here. Kanina pa ako hindi makapagbihis. He wouldn't let me go." I said. Paglabas ko pa lang ng shower, gising na siya sa crib niya. I picked him up and fed him but he was taking too long so I decided to put on makeup while feeding him.

Coco sat on the edge of my bed and sat our son on his lap, playing with him. "Magbihis ka na. I'll take care of him."

I went to my closet and pick an outfit. A simple pink dress. This would be the first time I'd spend the whole day without Cookie. Iniisip ko pa lang nalulungkot na ako. I suddenly felt a wave of anxiety.

"Wag na lang kaya akong pumasok?" I bit my bottom lip.

"No, you're going to school today." He firmly said.

"Paano kung hanapin niya ako?"

"It's just a few hours, Anais. Hindi naman siya pababayaan ng Papa Axel at Mama Val niya." He made funny faces at Cookie while talking to me. The baby laughed.

"Paano pag gusto niyang dumede?" I pouted.

"May nakatabi naman na milk para sa kanya, di ba?"

"I'm going to miss him..." I quietly said, the corners of my lips tugged downward.

"Tell Mommy you'll be fine without her." Coco spoke to our son. He made cute little sounds. Tumayo siya at nilapitan nila ako. "You have to do this. Maiintindihan niya rin na para sa kanya itong ginagawa mo. Somebody he'd be watching you walk the stage in your graduation robe and he'd be the proudest little boy."

A smile crept on my lips. "You think so?"

"I know so. Isn't that right, Cookie?" He turned his attention to our little man here and he giggled.

I held his chubby hands and kissed it. "Basta magpapakabait ka while I'm gone, okay?"

"Yes, Mommy." Coco answered in a baby voice.

"Bye, sweety." Dad kissed me on the forehead. "Do your best and good luck on your first day."

"Thanks, Dad." I let out a nervous smile

"I'll see you later." He said.

I nodded my head before pushing the passenger door open. I stepped out of Dad's car and took a deep breath in. I felt like a kindergartener on my first day of school all over again. I wondered how people would treat me now that I was a teenage single mom. What would people think of me? Hindi ko naman inilihim ang pagbubuntis ko. I knew a handful of people already knew I had a baby, including Steve.

And then Cookie's face suddenly crossed my mind. Wala pang isang oras mula ng mahiwalay ako sa kanya I already miss him. Ano na kayang ginagawa niya ngayon? I made sure he was well fed before I left. I bathed him and changed his clothes and diapers after. He was watching BabyTv when I left for school. Si Mommy ngayon ang nag-aalaga sa kanya. She promised that she would take good care of him. Being away from my son felt like losing a limb, sanay kasi akong palagi ko siyang karga. I miss carrying that chubby boy in my arms.

I walked inside the campus, hugging my book to my chest. Dad wanted me to go to a different school, most likely because he didn't want me in the same school as Coco. But I insisted on attending my old college.

"Oh my god, Anais! Welcome back!" Therese greeted me with a hug.

"We're so glad to see you here again." Said Audrey.

"In fairness, lalo ka yatang naging blooming. Totally the opposite of what I expected you to look like after having a kid." Sabi naman ni Maddie.

"I know. You look like a real lady now." Scarlett commented.

"Who's taking care of my cute little nephew?" Audrey asked and then she groaned. "Iniisip ko pa lang ang chubby na mukha niya nanggigigil na ko."

"Mom's taking care of him. Gustong-gusto niya yung talking bear na niregalo mo." I said.

"I am so going to spoil his little fat cheek rotten. I'll be his favorite Tita in the whole world." She squealed.

I sighed and rolled my eyes jokingly. "Please don't. Super spoiled na siya kay Dad at kay Coco. I don't want him to grow up a brat."

We talked a little more before I went to my first class. Our conversation mainly revolved around Niccolo. Audrey was so inlove with him and he was all she talked about. Therese, Maddie, and Scarlett were gushing over how cute he was. He'd break alot of hearts when he grows up they say. Talking about him made me miss him more. If only I could bring him to school.

I attended three classes before I had my one and a half hour break. Not so coincidentally, iyon din ang oras ng break ni Coco. We were supposed to meet and have lunch together. I decided to go to the cafeteria to grab myself a sandwich because my stomach was already growling. I sat at one of the tables and I ate while waiting for him.

"Si Anais yan hindi ba? She used to be our classmate in Humanities, remember? Narinig mo ba yung rumor tungkol sa kanya?" I heard a woman's not so quiet voice whisper from behind me.

"Yeah, and it's not a rumor. Everybody knows na nabuntis siya."

"Who's the Dad?" The other girl asked.

"I heard it was her friend who got her pregnant. Buti sana kung boyfriend ang nakabuntis sa kanya kaso, girl, kaibigan niya." She laughed.

"Nakakahiya naman yun. Disgrasyada. If I were her, hindi ko kakayanin na lumabas ng bahay. I'd rather die." She scoffed.

My fingers clenched into tight fists. Ibinaba ko ang sandwich na hawak ko at tumayo ako. I am the daughter of Valerie, I was taught by my mother to stand up for myself if neededd. I walked up to the table where they sat behind me. Nagpalit-palit ang tingin ko sa dalawang babae. They fell silent and looked at each other like deers in the headlight and then they looked at me.

"I can't help but overhear your conversation, girls." I gave them the sweetest smile I could muster. "It was quite interesting."

"Bakit? Totoo naman ang mga sinasabi namin." One of the girl's hiddeous thickly drawn eyebrow arched.

"Yes, it's true but you don't have to gossip behind my back. Hindi ko ikinahihiya ang pagiging ina ko. I'm now a proud Mom to a handsome little boy and I would never change a thing. He's the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me." I told them, lifting my chin high. "Sana lang bago niyo pag-usapan ang buhay ng ibang tao, inaayos muna yung brows mo. They look like caterpillars above your eyes, girl. And Cathie, nasobrahan yata ang filler ng lips mo. You don't look like Angelina Jolie if that's what you're aiming for, your lips look like the chicken's butt."

Their jaws dropped and none of them could utter a word. It lend me the time to turn and walk away from them.

"That was cool." Steve was suddenly standing in front of me with an amused smile on his face. My heart thumped a little faster when I saw him.

I merely forced a smile to my lips. "Thanks."

"I really admire you for standing up for yourself. You're right, you shouldn't be ashamed of being a mother. Sigurado akong magiging proud ang anak mo sa'yo kung narinig niya ang mga sinabi mo. How's your child? Is it a girl or a boy? What's his name?" He sounded genuinely interested.

"A boy. He is six month now. His name is Cookie, well, it's really Niccolo. But Coco came up with that nickname and it just kind of stuck on."

"I bet he's a handsome boy. Kung kay Mommy ba naman nagmana."

I could feel my cheeks heating up a little.

"Are you with the Dad?" He asked.

"Oh, you mean are Coco and I dating? Magkaibigan lang kami."

COCO

I smiled when I heard what she said to the two girls. Hearing what she said about her being a proud Mom to our kid warmed my heart. I mean I would completely understand if she did deny it or she could've just kept quiet about it. But she didn't. She stood up for herself and for our Cookie. The girls got what they were asking for. She could be a bitch with a capital B when she wanted. I was going to go up to her but Steve popped up in front of her. Lumapit ako sa kanya at tumayo sa tabi niya.

"Ngayon lang ako pinalabas ng prof. Kanina ka pa ba naghihintay?" I asked, cutting them off in the middle of their conversation.

"Hindi naman." She turned her head and looked at me. "Si... uhm, Steve."

My jaw clenched as I looked at him. "I know who he is."

Anais said a silent goodbye to Steve and then we went out. I saw it again, the twinkles in her eyes and her cheeks turning red. I could tell shee still had the hots for that Steve.

"You still like him, don't you?" I asked.

"It's just a crush." She shrugged.

"I just want you to be careful with guys like him. Remember what he tried to do to you?" My brows furrowed.

"I know." Her eyes lowered to her feet.

"What did the girls say to you? What was that all about?" I asked curiously. Naabutan ko na lang noong nilapitan niya ang dalawang babae. Damn! She roasted those two girls real good.

"They were gossiping about me, right next to me where I could hear them. Sabi nila nakakahiya daw ako kasi na buntis ako ng maaga at di ko boyfriend ang nakabuntis sa akin. Sabi nila disgrasyada daw ako." Nakasimangot na sabi niya.

I felt a pinch right in the chest. She had to deal with all the name callings and gossips because I got her pregnant. God, I wish I could protect her from all those.I knew we both wanted what happened to us but I still felt guilty. All the insults and criticisms fell on her. Kung pwede nga lang ako na lang ang sumalo ng lahat ng iyon. All they knew was that she was a girl who got herself pregnant at a young age, they never bothered to know that she was also a wonderful mother to our child. Ngayon ko mas naiintindihan ang galit ni Tito Axel sa akin dahil gusto ko din magalit sa sarili ko.

"Anais, I'm sorry." I quietly said.

Her eyes snapped at me. She looked at me like she just read what was going on in my head. "For what? Hindi mo naman kasalanan iyon. Stop feeling guilty."

"This shouldn't happen to you." I sighed and held her hands in mine, kissing her knuckle. "They just don't know what a great Mom you are."

"Wala akong pakialam sa sasabihin ng ibang tao. All that matters to me is Cookie." The corners of her lips tugged into a gentle smile.

My back was leaning against the wall, one foot casually propped against it. Hell I'd look like a real G with a cig except I didn't know how to smoke. Maybe I should learn but then I changed my mind when I thought of my son. I didn't want to kiss him with the same mouth I use to smoke. Sa lahat ng gagawin ko, si Cookie ang iniisip ko. I couldn't be as reckless as I was before. Sa tuwing nagpapatakbo ako ng mabilis sa kotse, iniisip ko kapag nabangga ako wala nang magiging Daddy si Cookie. My sister actually started hitching rides with me again.

Lumabas ang mga tao sa mini theater but my eyes looked for one man in particular. Steve was the last one to get out. Agad ko siyang hinatak sa kwelyo ng suot niyang damit. I slammed him on the wall.

"What the fuck?!" He glared at me and then pushed me. "Ano bang problema mo ha?"

"Ano bang gusto mo kay Anais? Bakit lapit ka ng lapit sa kanya?"

"That's none of your business. Stop acting like you're her boyfriend. Nabuntis mo lang siya! You are just a mistake." One corner of his lips tugged into a mocking smirk. Shit! That still hurt like a motherfucker.

"Do you fucking like her?" I asked, ignoring the pain.

"Isn't it obvious? Kung hindi mo ako siniraan sa kanya, sana girlfriend ko na siya ngayon! Wala kang kwentang lalaki. Kunwari ka pang pinoprotektahan mo siya, ginamit mo pa ang pagiging magkaibigan niyo so you could get in her pants." He accused. I shook my head. I'd been getting in her pants before he even came into her life.

"Fuck you. You don't know anything about us." I hissed. "Hindi kita sinaraan sa kanya. I warned her about you. I know what you did to Kelsie. You drugged and took advantage of her."

He laughed. "You really believe what she said? Iniisip mo ba talaga na kailangan kong gawin iyon just to get laid? You're unbelievable. My parents' are celebrities. I have a reputation to maintain and I wouldn't ruin it for sex. I could have any woman I want and Kelsie's the last on my list. That woman is obsessed with me and would do absolutely anything, that include spreading ridiculous rumors about me, just to make sure no one would want me."

"Hindi mo ginawa iyon?" My lips pursed and my eyes narrowed, questioning his honesty. "Bakit nakita kitang buhat mo si Anais palabas sa parking lot?"

"I told you, she passed out. I was going to take her out to get some fresh air because she said she was feeling dizzy. Noong palabas na kami nahimatay siya. Hell! I didn't know she was pregnant at that time!" He shook his head. "Get the fuck off me! I don't even know why I had to explain to you!"

She was indeed already pregnant when that happened. This guy had valid reasons. Lumuwag ang pagkahawak ko sa kwelyo niya.

"Do you still like her?" I asked. "Kaya mong tanggapin na may anak na kami?"

"I... yes..." He silently said.

"Well, she likes you too." I forced the words out of my throat. Then I glared at him angrily. "And I swear to God, Steve. The moment you hurt her, I will make you wish you'd never been born at all. I will rip off your ballsack with my bare hands and feed it to you."

It was Saturday today which meant I had the whole day with Cookie and Anais. I decided to take them out. Cookie sat comfortably in the baby carried hanging in front of me while he nibbled the chocolate chip cookie he had in his hands. He curiously looked around us and yes, there were still random strangers coming up to ask wanting to touch and hold him. No, I did not allow them.

We went to a baby boutique to buy the little monster new clothes as he was beginning to outgrow the ones he had, new toys, his diapers, and baby food. Ako ang bumibili ng mga kakailanganin niya. Natuto din akong mag-ipon ng allowance ko dahil sa kanya. I wanted to buy my son things from my own pocket. Back then, I'd impulsively buy anything I wanted but now iniisip ko muna kung kailangan ko ba talaga iyon. The other day I contemplated on buying new wheels for my car but I decided not to dahil wala ng matitira para kay Cookie. Iba pa rin yung saya na may naibibigay ka sa anak mo. It was a different kind of happiness you wouldn't be able to get anywhere else. My parents would gladly help but I didn't want them to.

"He's already seven months old now. Ilang buwan na lang birthday na ni Cookie." I sighed. How time flies. It seemed like it was only yesterday when I saw him pop out of Anais. He was still a big baby, Anais still hadn't wean him off of breastmilk. Ngayon pa lang nag-iipon na ako para sa birthday party niya. Sabi ko nga kay Dad, gusto kong magtrabaho sa kumpanya niya kahit part time janitor lang. Dad thought I was joking but I was hella serious. I would do anything to give my son a proper birthday party.

He made random sounds as though he understood what I just said.

"You're going to be a big boy soon, aren't you?" I kissed him on the forehead. "Daddy loves you so much, baby."

"Da-da!" He blurted out.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Anais. We couldn't believe what we heard. It was the first word he ever said, well not really the first, but it was the first one that was clear and that made sense.

"Cookie, say it again." Hinawakan ni Anais ang kamay ni Cookie.

The little guy laughed.

"Dada. Say it." I urged him. "Da... da..."

"Say Mo-mmy." Sabi naman ni Anais.

"Da...da." I said it slowly so he could follow.

"Da-da!" He clapped his hands.

"Oh my god!" Anais exclaimed. "Nakakapagsalita na ang baby natin. Gosh, he's growing up too fast."

"He is." I hugged him tighter agianst my chest. Damn! Did someone cut an onion? I was getting teary-eyed again. His first real word was, Dada. "You're Daddy's little boy, aren't you?"

"He's Mommy's little boy too." Anais frowned. "Say Mommy. Come on, Cookie. Ako nagpapadede sa'yo. You're feeding off of me. Ako ang nagpapaligo sa'yo. Ako nagpapakain sa'yo. I let you watch BabyTv for over an hour kahit ayaw ni Mama Val na lumalampas ng isang oras ang tv time mo. Mo...mmy. Say it. Mommy."

"Ma..." He tried to imitate but he couldn't say the 'mmy' part.

"He's really growing up." Realization dawned Anais face.

Then another realization hit me too. "Yes, which means he wouldn't need your attention as much. Maybe it's time for you to..." I tried to push down the lump in my throat. "You know, go out and start dating."

Pumitik ang mga mata ni Anais sa akin. "Date?"

"Yeah..." I silently said. "Hindi lang naman kay Cookie iikot ang mundo mo. You'd eventually have to have a life of your own too. Your life doesn't have to revolve around being a mother. Hindi dahil Mommy ka na, hindi ka na pwdeng mag-enjoy. Nandito naman ako, pagtutulungan natin alagaan si Cookie."

She chuckled a little. "Masaya na ako kay Cookie. I enjoy everything I do with him."

She was still young and there's so much she still hadn't experienced. I wanted her to enjoy her teenage years. "Just try, Anais."

"Sino naman ang magkakagusto sa akin. I'm already a Mom."

"Are you seriously asking me that question?" I shook my head. Since Anais came back, alot of guys were all over her. She was beautiful then but now she was breathtaking. Hindi ko alam kung dahil iyon sa pagbubuntis niya but she was more womanly now. Nagbago na din ang hubog ng katawan niya. Her figure became more developed and defined. Big breasts, small waist, rounded bottoms. Men are drooling at her feet and she didn't seem to notice it. But I did and I tried to keep them all away from her.

"Steve still likes you." Those words, like bile, went painfully up my throat.

She avoided my gaze. "You think so?"

"Lalaki ako, Anais. I know when a guy likes a woman." I said.

Anais began averting her attention to Cookie. "Ayaw ko munang isipin yan. Cookie is still a baby."

"Anais, I know you still like Steve. He's been dropping hints na gusto ka pa rin niya. Maybe I was too quick to judge him. Nalaman kong hindi totoo yung mga sinasabi ni Kelsie tungkol sa kanya. She was just obsessed with him and wanted him all to himself." God, it felt like acid in my mouth. How ridiculous. I was now playing cupid with the man I hate and the mother of my child. I felt like I got sucked into the twilight zone.