Ash: Crisis!

Gino: what kind?

Ash: hug

Gino: hug?

Ash: how to get a hug?

Gino: From Kira? You won't.

Ash: No, not her. But why?

Gino: You insulted her on TV.

Ash: For the last time, it wasn't telecasted. Also I told that I liked her boobs!! That's not insult!!!

Gino: it's the context and you know it!

Ash: Stupid tv ppl should stop asking me about other artists and their dumbass albums.

Gino: you could have said literally anything about any song of hers!! HOW CAN YOU TALK ABOUT HER BODY!!!

Ash: Forget Kira. I texted you for something important!

Gino: smh. You want hug from someone who is not Kira.

Ash: yes.

Gino: what's difficult about a hug?

Ash: NOTHING! BUT IT'S SO DIFFICULT!! I'M DESPERATE!!!

Gino: FINE! what have you tried till now?

Ash: I subtly asked, directly asked.. I even tried initiating the hug. Nothing worked. :'(

Gino: Did you try begging?

Ash: will it work?

Gino: OH!!! Now I'm curious.

Ash: don't be.

Gino: You are ready to beg! That will make anyone curious. Why hug? Is she a granny?

Ash: hahahaha.

Gino: tell me who

Gino: Ash?

Gino: who is she?

Gino: get her into bed. Show your sexy moves. Ride her on a long journey to the top of the hill. Stay on your knees. Be her dog, lick her till she forgets her name. After that you can beg for a hug. Who would say no?

Ash: absolutely the worst idea ever.

Ash: Wait...

Ash: Is this from your fanfic? Is this what I do to your heroines?

Gino: yes. The new one. You work in a church. You convince a girl who wants to be a nun to sleep with you. To show her the pleasures of the body you become her sex pet.

Ash: you are dead.

Gino: what's wrong? It's getting great reviews.

Ash: get lost.

****

Ash: how to make someone hug me?

Nick: give us time to solve one scandal before you start another.

****

Ash: how to get a hug?

Dada: by being huggable.

Dada: that's not you.

Ash: dadaaaaa.

Dada: Is it true? Did you talk about a girl's chest on Tv?

Ash: They didn't show it. Hen took care of it.

Dada: It's all over the internet. I hope she sues you.

Ash: I don't understand why everyone is making a big deal out of this. They aren't even natural you know? Silicone. I have seen better ones. Still I complimented them.

Dada: I am done with you.

****

Ash: hi

Jane: OMG!!!! That was heartless.

Ash: let's not talk about Kira. Pleeease.

Jane: but that was like the worst! Twitter is going crazy. Her fans demand a public apology from you.

Ash: I didn't text you to talk about your ex friend. There's something really urgent.

Jane: we are not yet exes. We are on break.

Ash: whatever. Can we talk about me?

Jane: what?

Ash: how to hug someone, when they are not willing to co-operate?

Jane: OMG!!! Don't violate!

Ash: you don't understand. I already had a hug. I want another one. But I'm not getting it.

Jane: did you fight?

Ash: I don't think so.

Jane: who is she?

Ash: first tell me an idea.

Jane: get her drunk and then ask her. She might take pity on you.

Ash: won't work.

Jane: hmm. get her drunk and hug her when she's not expecting. You might get a punch but by then you'll have had your hug.

Ash: do you have any idea without involving drinking?

Jane: Go in hiding, like to an island or something, come after a year. She will be so surprised to see you. A reunion will definitely have a hug.

Ash:  a year! Didn't I say it's urgent?

Jane: what's the urgency?

Ash: I miss it. That's all I have been thinking about.

Jane: wow. Do I know her?

Ash: no

Jane: what's so special about her hugs?

Ash: it was soooo tight. So very satisfying. Like, I would always be there. Like we were fused together. So intimate. So very loving. So full.

Jane: fuck.. I'm getting horny. Give me ten minutes.

Ash: what for?

Jane: you have no shame.

Ash: you are no use.

***
Ash: how to make a person hug me?

Hen: Is this to prank someone? You can't prank. Please Ash. Already Kira is creating huge fuss, rightly too. I don't blame her.

Ash: no prank. Promise. I really need that person's hug.

Hen: Ok. Ask. That's what you usually do.

Ash: That person doesn't like to do what I ask.

Hen: Someone with a working brain. That's great news.

Ash: HEN!!!

Hen: :-)

Ash: :-\

Hen: give an opportunity to get to know you. That might help.

Ash: how did you get to know me?

Hen: I wasn't given a choice. Was I? I was forced in your company so much I picked up a thing or two.

Ash: what did you think of me when we first met?

Hen: innocent boy. I must protect him.

Ash: now?

Hen: irresponsible boy. I must protect myself.

Ash: very funny. Do you need additional insurance?

Hen: don't derail. Give her a chance to know you.

Ash: I gave plenty. Not willing to use it.

Hen: then you try to get to know her.

Hen: find a common topic to talk about. Show interest in what she does. Respect her ideas even if they don't align with yours.

Ash: I know how it's done. But that's too much work. Any shortcut?

Hen: there's no shortcut to the heart.

Ash: Awwww...

Hen: Are you in love?

Ash: I am always in love.

Hen: I'm sighing. She sounds smart. You definitely have to put some effort.

Ash: will it take long time?

Hen: you won't know until you try.

Ash: stop quoting my lyrics!!!

Hen: stop beating around the bush.

Ash: ok. If your idea works, I will gift you a gigantic trampoline to jump with Eli.

Hen: don't. She won't get off of it. now, think of a good apology for Kira. Bye.

***

Ash: Hi.

Buffy: what?

Ash: can you come to my room?

Buffy: no.

Ash: I am alone.

Buffy: no.

Ash: It won't take more than two minutes.

Buffy: no.

Ash: just one minute?

Buffy: no.

Ash: please?

Buffy: no.