This chapter is dedicated to the late Sam Shepard.  We'll miss you, Sam.

***

November 10th.

"One week and my baby will be three. He's growing so fast." Jessica says watching Grayson play with his toys.

"He's a big boy now." Danny smiles.

"Yeah.. Makes me sad.
Oh he was such a cute baby, Danny!" Jessica smiles big.

"Chubby cheeks, his daddy's smile.. He's always been such a happy child."

"He's a special little guy."

"Yes he is. Grayson, come sit with mommy!"

"No I playing toys!" He laughs.

"Ah! You little booty! Get over here!" Jessica stands up and grabs him.

"Mommy!" He laughs uncontrollably.

"You're not gonna be two anymore!  Oh my baby!!" Jessica baby talks while kissing his cheeks.

"Mommy!" He screams as he continues to laugh even harder.

***

November 18th.

"Happy Birthday, Grayson!" Jessica says walking into his room.

"My birthday?!" Grayson's eyes light up as he stands up in his crib, holding the railing.

"Yeah! How old are you today?" Jessica picks him up and carried him on her hip.

"Um, I tink I tree."

"You tink you're tree?" Jessica giggles.

"Yeah!" He smiles and nods.

"Haha! Well you are correct! You ARE Three!"

"Yay!" He shouts before hugging her tightly.

"Yeah! My baby boy isn't a baby anymore, is he?"

"No, I so so big!"

"Awe, Grayson!" Jessica pouts.

"Why you's cryin?"

"Because you're a big boy and not my little baby."

"You sad cause I not a baby no more?"

"Yeah.. But I do love that you're a big boy now.  That's cool, huh?"

"Yeah."

"You know what big boys do?"

"What!"

"Pee pee in the potty!"

"Why dey do dat?"

"Because they're big boys!"

"Oh! Well I just a baby."

Jessica laughs and kisses his cheek.

"Mama, today's dada's birthday too?"

"Yes it is! You remembered!!"

"Yeah cause he has the same as me!"

"That's right, baby." Jessica's eyes tear up.

"Can you blow a kiss up to Heaven and say Happy Birthday, Daddy?"

"Mhm! Happy Birthday, Daddy! I lub you!"

A tear rolls down Jessica's cheek and she quickly wipes it away.

She smiles and watches him.
"Good baby. I bet you he says happy birthday and that he loves you too."

"Yeah.. Mama, why can't we visit daddy?"

"Awe buddy.. I wish we could." She says holding him in her arms.

After a little while he asks, "Where my other daddy?"

"He's picking up your big brothers from the airport!" Jessica smiles.

"Yay! Sam and James coming home?"

"Yeah!!"

"YAAAAYYYYY!!"

"Haha!  Well I'm thrilled to hear how happy you are!"

**

"Boys!" Jessica runs to the twins and hugs them tightly.

Danny walked in and went straight to Grayson.

"Happy Birthday, little buddy!"

"I tree!!" He shouts.

"Yes you are!" Danny chuckles.

"My dada's birthday too!"

"I know, that's so awesome!"

"Say happy birthday!"

"Happy Birthday, Sam!"

"Yay!" He giggles and hugs Danny.

Jessica smiles and walks over and takes him from Danny.

"My sweet boy."

"We go see him?"

"Yeah, we can go see daddy."

"Then we go play games?"

"Then we'll go play games." Jessica laughs.

**

Danny, Jessica and all of the boys went to the cemetery.
Jessica put a new set of flowers in his vase and kissed his headstone.

"Happy Birthday, Sammy. I love you, baby."

"Happy Birthday, Daddy! It's mine too!"

Jessica smiles and rubs his back.
Danny places his hand on her shoulder and she gives him a small smile.

"Daddy, say hi to my Dada!"

"Hi Grayson's dada!" Danny smiles.
Grayson was so excited that everyone was there.  He didn't understand and he thought it was just play time.

Grayson looks up to the sky and smiles.
He blows kisses then looks to Jessica and says, "I sent kisses up to Heaven, mommy!"

"Good job, baby!  I know daddy's blowing some right back at you."

"Yeah!" He smiles big.

**

They stayed there a while just talking and sharing memories.

"Sam's birthday was always a big deal. He didn't make it one, but we did." Jessica says.

"Well because he deserved it. He was such a great dad." Samuel says.

Jessica nods and says, "Yes he was. I still can't believe he's gone. It's so unreal.. He was intelligent, loving, and just a great person."

Grayson looks at Jessica and her eyes fill with tears.
"Your daddy was so amazing, Gray."

"I wanna see him."

Tears fall down her cheeks and she says, "If Heaven had visiting hours you'd play with your daddy all the time, huh, buddy?"

She wipes her tears and sits him on her lap, then kisses his head.

"He loves you, baby.. He loves all of you." Jessica sniffles and looks over to the boys.

***

November 98'.

Jessica just got to school and immediately went to find Sam.  It was his birthday, so she couldn't wait to see him.

"Happy Birthday, Sammy Wammy!"

"Thanks, sweetie!"

"What are your plans for your special day?"

"Well I thought we could go have a burger after school.  My treat!"

"No it's your birthday!  I'll pay!"

"With what?" He chuckles.

"Hey!" Jessica hits his chest.

"I have an allowance!"

"Awe, you'd spend your allowance money on me?" He smiles.

"Of course I would!"

"That's so sweet, but I don't want my girl to pay.  Save it for the fancy clothes you like buying, or your little snacks you stash in your room."

Jessica laughs and says, "A burger isn't going to break me, babe."

"Heh!  Well okay then.  We'll go after school."

Jessica smiles and Sam kisses her forehead.

**

"That was delicious.  Thanks, Jessie."

"You're welcome!  It was pretty good, wasn't it?"

"Pretty good?  You ate two!" Sam laughs.

"I don't know what it is, but I've been eating like crazy!"

"Growth spurt, maybe?"

"I hope so!  I look like a tiny little person next to you!"

"But I love that you're a tiny little person!  You're so cute!"

Jessica smiles and shrugs her shoulders.
"Thanks."

After dinner Sam walked Jessica home.

They held hands and walked slowly through the neighborhood.

Sam stops walking and takes both of Jessica's hands in his.
"Jess, I know we're young, but I want you to know that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Aww!  Sammy!"

"It's true, Jessie...
Jessica."

"Hm?"

"I love you."

Jessica's smile grows wide.

"You do?"

"I do."

"I love you too!" She giggles and gives him a tight hug.

"Really?  You love me?!"

"Of course I do!" Jessica grabs his face in her hands and looks him in the eyes.

"That's so great to hear, baby."

"Awe!  Sammy!" Jessica's voice goes high.

Sam chuckles and they share a deep kiss.

***

Sam's birthday 2014.

Jessica woke up and immediately got on top of Sam.

"Wake up, sleepy head!"

Sam's eyes slowly open and he smiles softly.

"Happy Birthday, Sammy!"

"Thanks, baby!"

"The boys are downstairs making you some breakfast.. So I guess that means I can give you your first birthday present!" She smiles and wiggles her body on top of his.

"Oooh!" Sam chuckles.

Jessica giggles buries her face in his neck giving him kisses.

**

"Happy Birthday, Dad!"

Jessica grabs Sam's arm and bounces up and down with excitement.

"Thanks boys!  Look at this food, it looks awesome!"

"Hopefully it's good." James says.

"Of course it's good, I taught you everything you know!"

"That's true." Sam chuckles.

"I tried to help, but I kinda burnt the eggs." Michael looks up to his father with a sad expression.

"Hey bud, it's okay!  Even your old man burnt a thing or two.  It's all good!" Sam messes with her hair.

"Really?"

"Of course!" Sam says and Michael smiles up to his father.

They all sat around and ate their breakfast.  They talked and laughed, everything was perfect.

For dinner Jessica asked Sam what he wanted, but he wanted to surprise her.

"You want to surprise me?  But it's YOUR birthday, silly!"

"Yes, I know that, but I still want to take you and the boys somewhere special!"

"Well okay!" She smiles.

**

Sam pulls up to the same burger place they went to on his fifteenth birthday.  The first birthday he ever spend with Jessica.

*Gasp* "Oh Sam!  This is the burger place we went to on your-"

"On my fifteenth birthday!"

"Awe!"

**

"The burgers are just as delicious as I remember."

"I know, right!  Boys, do you like your burgers?" Jessica asks.

"Yeah, it's good!"

"Well I'm glad you liked it, boys.  I knew your mother would." He looks at Jessica and she lowers her head and giggles.

"Your mother had two!"

"Mom?!  These things are huge!" Samuel's eyes widen.

"Hey I was pregnant!" She laughs.

"You were?"

"Yeah, she was, but we didn't know it yet."

"Yeah!  So it was you two goons making me want food!  Then a couple weeks later you didn't want me to eat anything!"

"It's true, she stayed home from school a lot!  Poor baby was so sick." Sam pouts.

"I was." Jessica mimics his facial expression.

"Well thanks for doing that then." James smiles.

"Hah!  No problem, sweetheart."

**

They stay there for a while longer before leaving.
The boys all got in the car and Sam stopped Jessica by grabbing her hand.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"I just wanted to say that I still feel the same way I did sixteen years ago.  I love you and you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Aww.. Sammy."

"It's true.  Even at fifteen I was extremely wise!" Sam smirks.

Jessica laughs and playfully taps his chest.

"Yes you were, baby."

Sam wraps his arms around her body and holds her close to him.

"I love you with all my heart, Sammy Wammy."

"Ditto, pretty girl."

Jessica giggles and they share a deep kiss.

***

Jessica thought back to the first birthday Sam ever spent with Jessica, and the last one they spent as a family.
Sadness filled her body, but knowing that Sam was happy and healed in Heaven made her feel better.  He was no longer suffering and will never ever feel pain again.
What hurt the most is that her best friend was gone.  Her son's father was gone.  But Jessica promised herself, her boys, and Sam that she would keep his memory alive forever.

"Hey boys, I have an idea of a place we could all go have lunch at."

"Where?"

"Remember that burger place we went to on your dad's last birthday?"

"Oh yeah!  Let's go!" James smiles.

"Let's go!  Let's go!" Grayson bounces up and down in Jessica's lap, kicks his legs and claps his hands.

Jessica laughs and says, "Mama's gonna take you to one of daddy's favorite restaurants!"

"Yay!"

"Yeah!  Danny, Zach, you're gonna love it!"

"Well I'm always up for burgers, let's go!" Danny says help Jessica stand.

**

"Mmm!  Mommy dis is good!" Grayson points to his plate with a mouth full of food.

"You like it, baby?"

"Mhm!  It yummy for my tummy!"

"Good!"

Jessica sighs and looks across the room to a two seater booth.

"You okay, mom?" Sam asks.

"We sat right there.  We sat there and talked for so long.  We were so young!  We didn't know what life would bring us.  We didn't know the pain.. The struggles we'd go through.  We didn't know things would happen so soon.  We didn't know that the rest of our lives together would be challenging, but we also didn't know how wonderful it would be.  How much happiness would come.  That we'd have four amazing boys.  We didn't know..." Jessica's voice trails off as she keeps her tear filled eyes locked on their booth.

***
When I started this chapter, it was before the passing of Sam Shepard.  I thought about not posting for a while, but I wanted to dedicate a chapter to him.  He was a great actor, and a brilliant playwright.  Jessica and Sam may not have been together for a while, but he was the father of two of her children, and he was a huge part of her life.  My thoughts and prayers go out to her and her children, as well as Sam's family.

Thank you Sam Shepard.  For everything.  You will never be forgotten and your memory will live on forever and ever.