Abs avoided me the next day, he has every right not to. I rang his phone several times which ended up in voicemail or some rings didn't get through. I rapped the door of his flat expecting an answer. Silent.

"Abs, come out, mate!" I called out knocking harder but not too hard to wake up other occupants in his flat. "I know you're in there, I could hear noise banging."

Still no response but the faint sound of PES and X Ambassador's 'Unsteady' died away. I made another call. This time the call went straight to voicemail. I looked down at the screen of my phone and scanned for the Messenger app, the blue bubble speech icon with a thin white flash symbol in it. I tapped at the icon and it popped open a list of contacts that I have chatted with. I selected Abs' and typed in:

'Abs! U cn call me n asshole 4 all I care I deserve it. Milla's drunk, tht shouldn't hv happen. We split right aftr u left. I lookd 4 u. nothin happened btween us. Pls come out.'

The text was sent and he read it. I was expecting for a response but he didn't. Sitting by the upper landing of the staircase next to the door of his unit for an hour was not only uncomfortable but chilly too. Seeing this wait was a futile attempt, I got up to leave.

But I aborted the idea when I heard the sound of his door knob twisting. There was a struggle at first but when the door was ajar, his bum stuck out by its leaf as he bent inwards to grab something. He got up, turned his face outwards and was devastated to see me. He cursed and groaned before decided to close back the door which I immediately tugged.

"Piss off, ZJ! We're through!" he growled. "Let go off this fuckin' door!"

"Abs, you don't have to do this!" I grunted, pried the door to open with him at the other side wrenching it. The smell of weed smoke from his flat emanated through the door which hurts my eyes. "Seriously, you're gonna waste your life over one hoe?"

"Yeah, so you can have her all to yourself, you ungrateful dog!" he shouted back.

"Okay, I deserve that. But no, I'm not in it for her. And you shouldn't do this to yourself!" I bellowed.

"Why you care? You're not the one being screwed up in public. Arrgh!" his lost his grip from the door, causing him to be tossed backwards and fell on to the floor.

I stood in front of him by the door frame, watching him sulking, crouching on the floor, tucking his knees and evaded my eyes.

"Abs, I am sorry. I know you are in a lot of pain right now and you have every right to be," I told him. "You're right, I wouldn't be able to feel as shit as you but I felt shit seeing you like this. I care for you and I'm here for you. I'm not gonna let you be on your own this time. I promise."

"None of this would happen if you didn't take me to meet her," Abs sighed.

Yes, that blaming game! He will never admit his mistake.

"Abs, she was drunk," I explained. "I told her I'm into you and she left."

"Thanks for the thought but I don't need your company nor your sympathy right now," he cleared his throat and got up. "I just need some time alone. Will call you when I need help."

"Okay," I stepped back, looking at him bending to pick up his trash bag behind him.

"There!' he chucked the trash bag to my feet. "For a start, take them on your way out."

                             ***********************************************

There was a dead silence at the other line. I called out a few 'hellos' but didn't respond. I know Milla was listening to my voice but didn't answer back.

"Sweets, I know you can hear me," I spoke. "I just want to make sure that you're okay."

"I'm fine, just..." her voice trailed off, following a deep audible breath expressing sadness. "... a bit of hungover, that's all."

"Sweets, we had fun, don't deny it," I told her. "It was the best thing ever. I actually can be me when I am with you and I love you for that."

She let out a quiet, suppressing laugh. "Don't talk about love when you don't actually know what it means, ZJ."

I kept quiet, running out of soothing things to say. She went on, "You are such a kind person, ZJ. That is the problem. You think of others before you. Stop being kind to wrong people, in fact stop being kind to everybody at all! Nobody appreciates that, nobody is worthy of your kindness, not even me."

Her sharp words sent straight to my chest. True but hurtful. It is my greatest weakness.

"Honestly, I'm sorry for what happened last night," she continued, "I was full of me. I was making assumptions on your behalf when I should have asked you first. And you are a good person, I really meant every word I said."

I smiled at this, although she couldn't see it, she's still attractive even when she's mad. "I appreciate that, Milla. And I don't want to lose you even after what happened that night."

Another silence, she couldn't respond to that. She wasn't sure which feelings she should deny, hers or mine.

"Can we still see each other?" I asked.

"What for?" her voice snapped in confusion.

"I mean we could catch up with each other over a few drinks," I clarified.

"Oh," her voice softened. "Yeah, I guess so. Why not?"

"Okay, cool." I replied. "We'll, I guess we'll keep in touch."

"Yeah. And ZJ," she gave another pause before continued, "Abs don't deserve your affection." Then she dropped the call.