Abhay

I watched Dhruv storming after the game while others watched him anxiously. He was a sore loser. But I envied him and his impulsiveness. He could be angry and be himself because that's who he was. On the other hand, the same people had a lot to say when I got angry.

Mira's sad eyes flashed in my mind, and I gritted my teeth. It was not the time to remember all that.

The bitter taste of defeat clung to my tongue as we started getting off the field.

My eyes went to the bleachers. Riya was in the bleachers, too, eyes tracking us, half-annoyed and half-devastation. I guess it was a bad day for both of us. She was definitely not devastated by our loss. The second game she'd shown up for, and of course, it had to be a loss. Fucking awesome.

The sound of the other team kept getting louder and louder, and so did the awkward silence in our team. I waited for someone to break it, but no one did.

We reached our stand at the end of our football field. The benches were lined up for us, and the bottles and towels were kept aside for us. Everyone picked up the towels and bottles to keep their minds occupied as they sat down on the benches. The dark clouds did not help uplift the mood. I hated these constant rainy days.

I waited for the coach to say something, but as I looked up, he was already looking at me.

Every damn time. Wasn't he the coach?

I sighed.

As captain, it was always on me. Wins, losses, everything. They all looked to me when things went to hell as if I was supposed to have some magic speech ready to fix everything. Right now, I had nothing. With my frustration, the last thing I wanted to do was put on a fucking brave face like some sacrificial saint ready to encourage others.

But they needed it. And hell, maybe I did, too.

And that came with the title of captain, or so the coach said regularly. I still had no idea why he made me a captain. I was good at the game, sure, but I was not good with people.

I took a deep breath, eyes fixed on the team on the other side, celebrating. "Alright, look. That sucked. No way around it. We had them, but we let it slip."

No one argued. They knew I was right. I could feel the coach's eyes on me.  

"But don't get it twisted." My voice was sharper, and a few of them straightened up. "We didn't lose because they were better. They weren't. We were better for most of that match. The scoreboard doesn't always tell the whole story, you get me?"

There was a murmur, but it was weak. No one was feeling it. Hell, I wasn't even feeling it. We lost on our home ground. It was a match we had in our control, and we lost it. No amount of post-match pep talk was going to change that.

"Moping around like a bunch of losers won't help. We still have time and a whole lot of matches to play." I said, looking at the youngest one Shrey, sitting beside me. He was looking at the ground, possibly tearing up. It was his first loss.

"You did good, kid." I tried softening my voice. 

"Good is not enough." He mumbled.

Damn it all.

I got up, ready to give them a piece of my mind.

"Don't go all mopey like it's the end of the fucking world." I was louder now. "We still have time. If you think you were not great, then fucking practice. Practice till your legs fall off and you start vomiting your guts out. We need to win this damn tournament, and you need to get your shit straight. I don't want a team who starts crying the moment they lose."

"Look at our captain. Trying to cheer us up." Rohan, our defender, sniffed with his hands on his heart.

This fucker.

I flipped my middle finger at him, and he started laughing. Others joined the laughter.

"Remember the last time he did this? We won, and he was trying to appreciate us," another one chimed, and I sighed.

The mood lightened a bit.

If my becoming the butt of the joke was going to lighten the mood, then they could be my guest.

I looked at the coach, who had a small smile on his face.

I walked out of the locker room, ready to go home. My eyes took in the students coming back from the ground and going towards the cafe. I thought for a second about going there, sitting in the corner and watching Riya giving me death glares.

The taste of loss on my tongue made me change my mind, and I pulled my keys from my pockets.

We had a good discussion as a team about what went wrong with the game today. Then, we all decided to call it a day. The coach still ripped us apart.

I got closer to the parking lot near the gym and looked at Raghav leaning on my bike.

He looked at me, grinning. I was not in the mood today to face him.

"Nice game, little brother." His grin widened as I approached my bike.

"Go home, Raghav. I'm not in the mood for your bullshit." I said, pulling my keys out of my pocket.

"What? Don't tell me you're sad. I thought you'd be used to losing, considering your whole life." His mocking voice was pissing me off.

"Bike's not yours, asshole," I said, getting closer to his face. I could hear my teammates coming closer. I needed to get a grip on myself.

I reined in my anger, trying not to punch him in the throat. I didn't want to create any more problems for Meera. It was already like a knife in the gut that this shitface's father was handling dad's business. The twist in the knife was the way he held my behavior like a fucking proof over Meera's head.

Raghav's face scrunched up in disgust as I stepped back. He was never able to digest the quick shift in my emotions. Tragedy! He needed to learn it too.

"What? You wanna fight, you loser?" He came closer and screamed in my face. My hands itched to punch him. I fisted my hand to stop myself.

Someone pushed him back a bit. It was Shrey.

"Back off, Raghav. Enough." Panic dripped from Shrey's voice.

"Why don't you advise your captain? Fucking Psychopath." He seethed. The fear was there. Lurking somewhere, and he was trying to keep it inside.

I liked it. I wanted to reach and drag that fear out and remind him how it got there in the first place.

But I needed to step back. For Veer. For Mira. I had created enough problems for both of them. They were the only family left. I couldn't afford to disappoint them, too.

I looked down at my white fists, clutching the keys in a grip. But I couldn't feel the key for some reason.

"Let's go, captain. Not worth it." Shrey mumbled. He was right.

"Yeah, listen to your little friend. Your father's not here to save his screw-up kid anymore." He sneered, and my feet froze.

He was poking around the green wounds. Something was rearing its head inside me. I could feel it. My fingers tingled.

I tried rotating the keys in my hands to stop myself, but I couldn't feel it. My palms were numb. They prickled like tiny pins as I kept rotating the key.

I was calm. Too calm. The crowd was starting to gather, and the clouds were too dark. The murmur of my team members started to mix with the crowd.

"Oii, you need to shut the fuck up. Or I'll make you." Something flickered in Raghav's eyes. Ah! There it was. The fear that I put.

My finger itched and pushed the urge to slap him back.

Then, he replaced it with his arrogance. "You think you can tell me to shut up." He stepped closer, "Soon enough, you'll be answering to me. You should know your limit. If you behave well, I might let you have that damn house."

Don't kill him.

"Your father's a placeholder. Don't entertain dumb ideas in your head." My voice sounded too calm, not reflecting the storm brewing inside.

His adrenaline was rising. Shitface was pissed off. Good.

"And you have it? The walking disappointment who's best at losing?"

"Keep talking, and we'll see where it gets you."

"Or what? You're going to complain to your parents? Oh wait they-"

My fist collided with his cheeks, and he staggered behind. The pain shot through my knuckles, and a sickening satisfaction rose at the sound.

Raghav's face went blank for a second as he stumbled, the fear flashing before his mask slipped back. He wasn't expecting it, not today.

Some behind me called out faintly, "Riya, wait."

Riya? Was it her, or someone else? For some reason, I didn't want to turn around and find out.

A winning day for her, for sure. She was going to be proven right. Something made my anger flare hotter. Out of all the days, she had to be here today.

My rage was mirrored on Raghav's face as he got up.

"Think you're so tough?" He roared as he lunged towards me.

I didn't need to be tough to deal with him. My tough would've killed him. 

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