"Okay! Here we go, ladies and gentlemen, dogs and cats!" Ringo said, clapping his hands together loudly. At that moment, Winston looked over at John's cat Jesus and growled. Jesus blinked at him in an uninterested fashion. "Let's get this game in the road!"

    "Um, honey?" Barbara said, raising a hand. "I think it's 'on the road.' "

    "Why don't we do it in the road?" Paul joked with a sideways smirk.

    "We can, we can!" George said, pulling the curtains back, taking a sip of his eggnog. "Look, the snow stopped! We can play the game in the road."

    Olivia jerked the curtain closed in a joking manner, causing George to laugh and kiss her on the nose. Dhani started acting like he was throwing up, which made Julian and James to laugh manically.

    "Who's going to start?" Linda asked, setting her eggnog on the coffee table, looking around. Paul could tell she was getting pumped up, ready to smoke everyone at Christmas edition "Family Feud." She was a religious watcher of the show and knew all the ins and outs. Once she'd even tried to get him and the kids to apply, but Paul had shut the whole thing down, saying he didn't want to get on television and make a fool of himself. Well, now here he was at Christmas preparing to make a fool of himself.

    "Well, how about the Starrs and the McCartneys go against each other because they have the right number of family members?" Olivia suggested. "We've only got Dhani and John and Yoko only have Julian, so it will be fair if we play together."

    "We don't 'play together,' " John said, holding up a finger. "We're opponents, enemies, nemeses. Right, Jules?"

    "Uh, yeah," Julian said, not really appearing to feel it, looking uneasily at Dhani, who fixed him with a dark-eyed stare-down. Like father, like son, Paul thought with amusement.

    "All right!" Linda said excitedly, hauling Stella and Mary up from the sofa with her. "Let's go."

    Paul sighed, looking at Ringo with sympathy, pulling James up with him. He was using eye messages to apologize to Ringo in advance because Linda could be a little competitive. Just a little. Flashes of Friday game night zipped through his mind and his eye may have twitched. Ringo gave him a strange look and pretended he hadn't noticed it.

    "I'll be Steve Harvey," George said, lifting his eyebrows, drinking eggnog.

    "How come he gets to be the host?" John said, pouting slightly.

    "Because he called it first, dear," Yoko said, patting his head like he was the cat sitting on his lap. Jesus was regarding everything with dull interest, every once in a while sending a smug look to Winston, who looked as if he was about to bolt off Dhani's lap and eat the cat alive.

    John sniffed and turned his nose up, causing George to chuckle as he passed him. George moved a table to the center of the living room and put Winston's rubber bone on it. "This will be the what you squeeze to submit your answer for the face-off." He squeaked it in demonstration.

    George cleared his throat and stood up straighter. "Which McCartney wants to — "

    "Me!" Linda said, coming over to the table.

    "Alrighty, then," George said, fighting a smile back. "Um, Starrs?"

    Ringo eyed Linda nervously and glanced at Barbara, who was pretending to study her nails. He looked at his other family members to see that they were pretending to be preoccupied with something else as well. He sighed exasperatedly and stood up from the sofa, muttering something under his breath.

    John let out a bark of laughter, receiving a chiding look from Yoko.

    "Here we go," George said, reading off of a card. "Name a Christmas carol."

    Paul watched as Linda snatched the bone off the table and squeaked it at least four times for good measure. " 'Silent Night'!"

    Ringo hadn't even moved, just staring at Linda with his mouth hanging open.

    "Um, yes, Linda, that's right," George said, grinning crookedly at the bewildered Ringo.

    Linda did a fist pump and walked back over to Paul, high-five-ing him. Ringo turned and walked back to his family, and they all remained straight-faced until he completely sat down and then they were stitches.

    "Oh, knock it off," Ringo said, rolling his eyes.

    "McCartneys, you now have control of the board," George said. "The topic is Christmas carols and . . . Paul, you're up!"

    "What?" he said, jumping. He didn't even know any Christmas carols! He was so doomed, and if he blew it for them, he would have to face Linda's wrath afterward.

    "Christmas carols," George said, expression telling him he knew Paul had no idea and was very amused by that. Paul sneered at him. "Go."

    "Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, um, um, um, um," Paul stuttered, not being able to get anything else to come out of his mouth. This feels like when Linda made me get on national TV and make mashed potatoes, he thought, sweat beading on his brow. This would probably end up being just as embarrassing as well. Dignity loss, here I come, he thought.

    " 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,' " he blurted, closing his eyes, bracing for impact.

    "Correct."

    The words burned in his ears. What? He had gotten something right?

    "Good job, honey," Linda said, sounding relieved. She had expected him to blow it too. Figures.

    "Mary?" George said.

    " 'Hark the Herald Angels Sing,' " Mary said immediately, and Paul blinked.

    "Um, yes," George said, looking equally as surprised as Paul. "Stella?"

    Stella's eyes were a large as saucers and they darted around frantically. She looked at Linda and the look in her eyes said that she was going to pass. That was Linda's worst nightmare, and all Paul's entire family knew it. It couldn't be helped, though. Linda looked crestfallen when the words left Stella's mouth:

    "Pass."

    "Okay. Starrs, it's over to you. Barbara?"

    "Christmas carols," she said, putting her hands on her head in deep thought. "Christmas carols, Christmas carols, Christmas carols. Hmm. 'Oh Holy Night'? Is that a Christmas carol, or is my brain just making it up?"

    "You're correct!" George said, appearing to be enjoying himself a little too much. He then looked at Zak. "Zak? This is the winning point. If you answer it, you'll fill up the board."

    "So much pressure," Zak laughed and then turned serious, thinking. Ringo pulled out his phone, keeping Paul's eye contact.

    "Um . . . " Zak dragged on. "I want to say . . . 'Away in a Manger'?"

    George's mouth dropped, and so did Ringo's. "That's right! The Starrs win!"

    Linda's face fell and Paul tried to comfort her by rubbing her shoulder, but she didn't act as if she felt any better.

    Ringo started typing again.

    "All right, I'm going to be Steve now," Linda said, standing up and shooing George away. "Now it's Harrisons vs. Lennons."

    "This ought to be good," Stella muttered to Mary.

    "I can't wait to see Uncle John scream at somebody," Mary replied.

    "Yeah! We'll get to see Mr. Peace Movement freak out!"

    "Mr. Peace Movement always freaks out!"

    Paul shushed them.

    "Which of you is going to the face-off?" Linda asked the Harrisons.

    "Uh," George and Olivia said simultaneously, looking at each other.

    "I'll do it!" Dhani said.

    "Oh, yeah!" John said. "Let me at the squirt!" He tried to take a step forward, but Yoko held him back.

    "That's not fair, John."

    "What?"

    "How about Julian does it?"

    John crossed his arms as Julian stepped up to the table across from Dhani. Paul watched at the dark-haired boy reached his hand across the table, wishing to shake hands with Jules. Julian appeared surprised by this, but shook his hand anyway.

    "May the best man win," Dhani said.

    "May the best man win," Julian agreed.

    Linda looked between them in shock, and then looked pointedly at Mary and Stella. "Why can't you two act like this?" They shrugged, appearing unimpressed.

    "All right, guys, we've got . . . " Linda looked at the card. "Name a beverage that is popular at Christmas."

    They both stood there for a moment, unmoving, visibly thinking. Julian suddenly snatched the bone and squeaked it. "Eggnog! Uncle George is drinking some!"

    "Yeah, that's right," Linda beamed.

    "Good show," Dhani said, nodding, and walked back to George and Olivia, who were regarding him with mixed emotions. George's expression said, Is this really my kid? And Olivia's said that she was proud of him for being such a good sport.

    "All right, Lennons, it's on you. Yoko, you're up."

    "Christmas beverages?" she asked.

    Linda nodded.

    "Hot saké?"

    John face-palmed.

    "Um, sorry, Yoko," Linda said, eyes full of sympathy. "That's not on the list."

    "What?" Yoko said in disbelief. "But we used to drink that all the time on Christmas in Japan!"

    Linda shrugged sympathetically. "It's just not on the list. Over to you, Harrisons."

    "You had one job," John said, rubbing his face

    "Well, I'm sorry!"

    "So . . . Olivia?" Linda said.

    "Don't name a Mexican Christmas drink," George muttered.

    "Shut up!" Olivia said good-naturedly. "Um, wine?"

    "Yes!"

    "I knew that would be right!" Olivia said, laughing.

    "Yeah, wine is a year-round drink!" Linda agreed. "George? This is the winning point."

    "Oh, Krishna, why does it have to be me?"

    "George. Christmas beverages."

    George sighed. "Spiced cider? I don't know."

    "That's correct!" Linda said. "The Harrisons win! Now the ultimate showdown between the Harrisons and the Starrs."

    "Oh, God," Ringo groaned.

    "You'll have to cut back on some family members, Ringo," George said with a laugh.

    "Yeah, I knew the decision to have three kids would come back to haunt me," Ringo said. "Um, how about we get rid of you two and keep Lee? She's a know-it-all."

    "What?" Zak asked. "I'm the reason we won last time! You're not keeping me?"

    "Nope."

    "Whatever," Zak said, crossing his arms.

    "I'm Steve this time!" John said with triumph. "Who wants to do the face-off?"

    "Barbara!" Ringo said, shoving her forward.

    "And?" John looked at the Harrisons.

    "Olivia," George said, shoving her forward as well.

    "Okey dokey," John said, squinting at the card. Paul had no idea why he would be squinting if he had his glasses on. "What's the one thing you want for Christmas this year?"

    Olivia squeaked the rubber bone. "Peace on Earth!"

    "That's my girl!" George said, whistling and clapping.

    John beamed. "Isn't that sweet?" He comically wiped the smile off his face and eyed Barbara. "What would you have said?"

    "Peace on Earth," Barbara said sweetly with a false toothy smile.

    "Uh-huh, sure," John said dismissively. "Harrisons, it's yours. George."

    "I can't say the same thing?"

    "No. Get a new one."

    "Clothes."

    "You want clothes?"

    "Yes."

    "Well, that's right. Dhani?"

    Dhani smiled at his parents. "To be with my family."

    "That's correct. You win the game!"

    "That's surprising," George deadpanned.

    "I hardly think that was fair," Lee huffed.

    "Oh, relax," Ringo said. "You didn't have to say anything embarrassing this way."

    "Finally it's over!" John said. "Now, let's eat!"