My parents fuckin  hate me

what did i do wrong

I woke up

Nobody was home

It was nighttime 

They came back, happy, ignoring me

In the day they scream at me, scold me and ignore me

And at night i pretend to sleep

And i cant believe it 

At all

I cant believe what I heard

They call me a useless person

They have no fuckin hopes left for me at all

They think im no good

They say I'll nvr be successful 

They say when I grow up, I'll be a freakin beggar

They say I'm shit

I dun care about the fuckin world anymore

No matter how freakin hard I try, I'll never be the child that they wanted. I'll never be the best in their eyes

They compare me to my brothers

They were always fuckin praised and complimented 

But...I try so freakin hard

I really dun get this shit

What did I ever do wrong

Tell me.

What did i do wrong?

This has been going on for so many months

I want to keep all of this in, like a secret

But in the end, i cant help but to spill the secret 

I know nobody reads my freakin books

And nobody needs to, especially this one

This is just like an online notebook, for me to write and vent out my fuckin feelings without my parents knowing

Yes, they check all 21 of my notebooks that I keep

That's the reason why I went to damn counseling last year

I was forced against my own free will

I'm a perfectly sane person. But truth be told, I am insane....sometimes

I'll probably have freaking counseling this year too

And dear fucking lord, I'm still young

I wont suicide or anything, so just why the fuck counseling?

Just why

I never did anything wrong

But people make mistakes.

So what the hell did I do wrong

I hate my parents

Everybody says they're doing this because they love me

Oh please, I've heard that shitty excuse so many times.

They hate me as much as I hate them.

Ya know, ive tried so many times to be that child who meets their expectations.

I've been trying for years.

But I failed, every single time

Must i stop being myself?

Must I pretend as I did for the past few years?

At school, I'm all smiles

That's just because it's a facade 

Nobody knows yet

But my friends will know

They have wattpad 

Why did I introduce them to wattpad anyways?

Why?

They'll just think that I'm a monster, a freakin fucked up girl who wants attention once they've read this

I can't believe it.

I am really acting like an attention seeking whore 

But that's what I am, a stupid, useless bitch

I envy my friends sometimes.

A happy family

The end.

And my friends say my family is the best

Well, fuck it

I hate this family

I'm so different

I'm the outcast

I'm the one that hates everyone

I know the truth while they all dont 

But what's the use of changing their aspects on my family?

Argh

I bet nobody would care, nobody knows me in reality

Reality slapped me right in the face, hard

Now I fucking know the lies my parents has been feeding me.

These are translated versions.

"You're beautiful."="You useless lazy asshole."

"My daughter is so smart!"="Ugh...she's so stupid...when she grows up...she'll be a street beggar."

And yeah, the bad stuff is what dey said when they think I'm asleep

My friends probably also talk behind my back, so I won't be surprised if they say fuck you and you are not our friend anymore.

Harsh reality, ain't it.

But I'm already slapped in the face of reality, so why not believe it.

After all, discovering ancient lies are more agonizing that already knowing the truth

That's how I live my own life.

That too, is why i hate liars, even if i am one myself.

So the question is, 

What did I do wrong?

You can't leave now. Answer the damned  question

And hurry up, brat. My life is being wasted by pretending to be happy and a goody two shoes