Eclipse Of The Moon ~ Book 1 of Aaron
Chapter 30
Withdrawal

Wednesday 25 June 2003

I'm cold.

I'm so fucking cold.

I should have slipped under the comforter, but I didn't have the strength to and simply curled up on my bed. With my fingers clutched around my arms, my nails are nearly digging into my skin as I am trying to fight the chills that make me shiver like a leaf in the middle of a storm. My stomach is rumbling, claiming for food I wasn't able to swallow earlier because for some reason, I just didn't have any appetite.

I don't know what happened.

The rest of the afternoon had gone fairly well since I managed to keep myself busy after Ivan left. I had resolved to do well as a thank you for his great generosity, and my utmost goal was to drown myself into anything that would keep me away from dark thoughts and toxic urges, so I set to my assignments as per his request. I copied the agreement seven times, which not only distracted me from my desire for a joint but also allowed me to register all the details in a better way.

I still find it silly that he should lay down all this on paper, but at least everything's clear. Weirdly, there is something that appeals to me in all this authority, something I can't explain, and however hard it is going to be for me to abide by all these rules, I like the idea that Ivan will pull me from my decadence. I don't regret much of the past six months all the same because despite the difficult situation and the depressing moments, I still had fun with the guys at the squat.

However, as much as I was dreaming of a wild life, it's not what I was yearning for before I ran away from New Jersey, and I like to think that I'm smart enough to have understood that my condition held a large part of danger and unhealthiness. That's why I am grateful to have been given to meet such a generous soul, and now I can't wait for things to truly get better in the future.

Meanwhile, I will have to bear with his strictness because I am determined to get back on my feet, even if his rigidity scares me a bit. I bet the man will be a real pain in my ass – not literally, of course – and even if it yields to fights, I won't let him crush me like my father did. To be honest, I don't know how I am going to react to what he calls sanctions. Copying lines was okayish, but how will I deal with him if he asks me to stand in a corner or if he confiscates my phone?

Anyway, the afternoon went on with a book I picked and of which I read about a hundred pages, then I also put my clothes away in the chest of drawers in my bedroom, but it only took me a few hours and wasn't enough to clear my mind off its negativity. I needed to let some steam off, so I ended up at the gym. Since my body was already quite sore from the morning session, I just walked on the treadmill, which helped a bit but wasn't intense enough to win over my urge to smoke.

Watching TV after dinner only made it worse and with the soreness of my muscles growing, it felt like the world was crashing on me, as if I was sinking into a dark abyss populated with cloudy thoughts. The oppression I used to feel in the past was nothing compared to this; gloom and melancholy were suddenly swallowing me whole.

I hovered by the phone and paced in the kitchen for at least half an hour, trying to gather the guts to call Ivan for help, but I couldn't resolve myself to disturb him. He was probably busy with work at one of his establishments, and I couldn't see what he'd do for me from a distance, so I ended up in my bedroom, took a shower during which I inflicted a scratching treatment to my shoulders, then went to bed.

So, here I am, an hour later, shivering in my bed and unable to sleep. I wish my mind would stop rehashing the same things all over again, but it just won't stop. It's always the same images that play in my head, and they're not always things I necessarily witnessed for real.

What I endured at the shack.

Joshua, Mark and Camden breaking down as they read the letter I sent when I left.

My friends again, worrying themselves sick because I haven't called in over ten days.

Jaden lying in his blood on the pavement.

My father finding me and beating me to death.

Unfortunately, these images are still wavering when I eventually doze off, provoking the worst nightmares I have ever had. Jaden and I are both tied up on the dirty ground at the first wild encampment where we met in February. While a man I can't see is pounding into my ass, my father is fucking my friend, screaming at me how much of a dirty fag I am.

How painful is that, Son, huh? Are you learning your lesson? See how disgusting it is, you can't be enjoying this, can you?

Exactly like at the shack, it's not even the pain from my teared anus that strikes me the hardest. No, the worst is my best friends' presence and their expression, except that this time, they have comfortably settled in armchairs, stroking themselves as they enjoy the show and throwing insults at me.

You've done fucked up, Ron.

How could you lie to us, thought we were your friends!

Yeah, you don't deserve us anymore, Ron!

Their anger and contempt hurt so deeply that I wake up with a start, screaming their names and drenched in sweat. In the darkness of the room, it feels like the nightmare won't fade away, uncontrollable shivers shaking my body as I am gasping for air while pleading for the guys to forgive me. Their image soon vanishes as my eyes adjust though, which brings more tears to flood my face and leaves me short of breath, almost suffocating.

I need you, guys. I need your support. I need your help. I need to hear your voices. I need your advice.

I hate myself for having bred so many lies. The day they learn the whole truth, they will get so upset that they might reject me as their friend, and that's all I'll deserve. Sadly, it's not a decent time to call them right now, and I wouldn't even be able to speak properly in my current state. The frustration only aggravates my situation, making me desperate for something that will soothe me.

Weed... Weed will do that.

Determined to find my cigarettes and my chunk of cannabis, I stumble out of bed and wobble my way downstairs in the dark, close to topple over twice in the staircase. I doubt Ivan is back home already or he would have already gotten up, alerted by the racket I'm making.

Once in his office, I head to his desk and collapse on the floor because my legs can't carry me anymore. As soon as I have crawled to the front, I begin to try and pull on the multiple drawers. My trembling hands don't help, and I keep cursing at the damn drawers that won't open although I'm shaking them as strongly as I can.

"Shit! Aaron..."

Crap... When in the hell did he come back?

Ivan's low growl barely startles me because being in a forbidden room and obviously trying to break into his private belongings, I was expecting anger in his voice. However, there's none, just deep worry. As a matter of fact, he is already by my side, his left arm wrapped around my shoulders and his right hand striving to pry my fingers from a drawer handle.

"Let go, Aaron, let go," he whispers softly yet with a certain firmness, but I don't give in. "Aarooooooon, there's nothing for you in there..."

"Yes... My weed's in there... I want it..." I seethe, doubling my efforts.

"It's not, Aaron, I destroyed it alr..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Why did you do that!?" I scream, pulling harder on the drawer.

"AARON, STOP!"

My fingers have become so sweaty that they lose their grip from the handle, and Ivan eventually manages to pull me up to my feet.

"Why... Why... Why...?"

My body is still violently shaking, which doesn't ease my struggle with Ivan's, so our fight is quite unbalanced. In the end, he just fastens his arms around my torso, imprisoning my own limbs in such a tight grasp that I can no longer move, making me give in.

"Shhh... I've got you, Menino. It'll be alright, you can do this, just relax..."

The powerfulness of Ivan's embrace and his soothing words achieve to calm me down a bit, enough for him to drag me out of his study and to the couch where he helps me to sit. Although the shivers are turning into light chills, Ivan takes off his hoodie and makes me shrug into its warmth before he settles beside me and grabs my hands within his.

"Look at that state you've put yourself in," he tsks as he keeps rubbing my hands. "When did it start?"

"Not sure... after dinner, I guess..."

"Why didn't you call me?" he grumbles in a more annoyed voice.

"Didn't want to disturb you... and didn't think... it'd go that far this time..." I reply with a shrug of my shoulders.

"So it happened before?" he asks, and I just nod in answer. "Weird..."

"What?"

"I'm not sure," he sighs, frowning at me. "It looks like withdrawal symptoms, but that would be surprising cause from what you told me, you haven't been taking drugs for that long. Be honest, Aaron, were you on harder substances than cannabis?"

"No! I told you I only smoked weed. And you saw the blood results at hospital. I tried ecstasy once, didn't like it, and that was it. Nothing else, I swear."

"Okay, fine, I believe you, but we'll discuss it with the doctor tomorrow," he replies, and the next second, his features morph into a harder expression. "I'm not happy with you, though. Weren't you supposed to reach out to me if you needed help?"

"I... I almost did..." I mumble apologetically, and now that the bout seems to have quietened, I realize that I should really have called him.

"Almost isn't enough, Aaron. Perhaps I should have anticipated this too, but you seemed alright when I left earlier, and I didn't think you'd go through such withdrawal. In any case, even if you disturb me, I'll always find a way to help you, so you'd better think twice if it happens again. Clear?"

"Yeah... I just thought I could manage on my own."

"Obviously, you couldn't."

"I could! At least in the beginning... I had even fallen asleep, but then I had a nightm..." I begin to say but interrupt myself because I don't want to go through some details of my past.

"What was the nightmare about?" he asks, though.

Just my luck! However, there is an easy way out of this.

"It was about Cam, Mark and Josh... you know, the friends I mentioned briefly this morning before your call?"

"Hmm. I suppose they're the guys on the pictures in your folder? Go ahead," he encourages me as I nod in answer.

"They're... they're far more important than just friends to me. They're even more important than family. They're... They're everything to me..." I whisper as I recline against the backrest of the couch and hug my knees together.

And I let it all out.

I tell him about how I met Camden, Joshua and Mark in kindergarten and that since then, the four of us have always stuck together, closer than peas in a pod. I explain how they were my motivation to bear with my family's strictness and archaism until I was threatened with boarding school, and the sole reason why I hadn't run away earlier. Surprisingly, speaking about my spiritual brothers doesn't hurt like it usually does; on the contrary, it helps me to calm down further as I praise our solid friendship.

However, I can't contain my tears when I reach the part where I had to make one of the most difficult decisions of my young life back in October and how heartbreaking it was to leave them behind.

"I've been missing them so badly... Each time we speak on the phone, it leaves me depressed because I need them beside me and I hate how they're worrying for me..."

"Do they know about the situation you were in?"

"Noooo... I didn't want them to worry more than they should. I created lie after lie, made up a fake life..." I sigh, averting my eyes from the deep scowl on his face. "They don't know a thing about... the drugs, prostitution, the squat, or whatever... and... and... and..."

"Shhh, it's okay, Aaron, take your time," Ivan says in a gentle voice, brushing my arm soothingly.

"I don't know how to get out of this situation," I eventually carry on. "I haven't spoken to them in over ten days, I don't even want to think about how they must be worried."

"You've got your phone and the landline here, why haven't you called them since you arrived here?"

"Because... I don't know what I should tell them... I can't let them know about the shit and... prostitution, they'd kill me."

"As far as I know, they can't kill you from so far away," he deadpans with a wink that makes me grunt.

"Ugh... You know what I mean."

"Remember what I told you about honesty and its importance in our relationship? That's true for any relationship, even more so in a deep friendship."

"I know, and I'm tired of all these lies, but I'm so far gone into the tales I've created. And that's not the kind of things I can tell them over the phone anyway. I'd rather have them face to face to anticipate their reaction and respond accordingly. Perhaps I'll tell them one day, but not now, I can't," I reply with determination. "And then... I don't know what to say about the current situation either. They think I'm in a relationship with Jaden and living with him, but now I'm here and..."

Ivan exhales a long breath, intensely staring at me for the longest time.

"Okay, I get the problem," he eventually says. "Listen, it's too late to think about it, so let's go get some sleep since you look calmer. We'll discuss this and find a solution after your medical appointment. Okay?"

"Thanks, Ivan," I reply with sincere gratefulness as we both stand up and head upstairs.

As we part ways in front of my bedroom, Ivan pulls me into another hug, and I realize that I truly feel calmer indeed. This reassurance I feel whenever I'm around him leaves me perplexed, but in any case, I am too exhausted to dwell on my emotions. In fact, as soon as I lie down on the bed and over the comforter, still wearing Ivan's sweatshirt, I close my eyes and let myself fall into a deep slumber.

The situation hasn't been sorted out yet, but this conversation lifted a heavy weight off my chest and I trust Ivan to help me solve this problem.

* * *

"Everything seems fine so far," Doctor Neely says, firmly motioning for me to go to the examination table.

Dr. Neely...

If I judge by the hug that he and Ivan shared when we were summoned into his office, I bet that the man is more than just Ivan's personal doctor. In fact, they called each other by their respective first names and that Marcus I heard clearly rang a bell.

So, Dr. Neely has spent the last twenty minutes examining my eyesight, my earing, my teeth; he took my blood pressure and sent me for a urine sample; he also had a nurse take blood from my arm for full analyses in order to screen for diabetes, thyroid issues, anemia and what not.

Now I'm expecting the worst part to come, and I wish Ivan wasn't here. I asked him to stay outside before I went in, but I earned a glare that clearly said Who's deciding again? I don't really care about his presence since I'm not modest; I'm just afraid he will notice the scratches I have been able to conceal underneath my clothes so far.

"Please strip to your underwear so that I can check your spine, Aaron, then you'll go to the ruler against the wall," Dr. Neely instructs.

There we go...

Cautious to face away from Ivan, I take off my shoes and my clothes, and what had to happen just happens. Standing in front of me, the doctor had to notice the damage and to point it out.

"Let me see this," he says warily and squinting at me. "Ivan told me about that fight you were caught in, but I doubt these are direct consequences," he adds, softly brushing the tip of a finger on the front of my shoulders before he proceeds similarly with my thighs. "Do you self-harm, Aaron?" the doctor finally asks.

"What the hell are you talking about, Marcus?"

Before I can answer, Ivan has already joined us and as he takes in the scratches, the brown of his eyes quickly shifts to black and his body tenses when he straightens up to look at me.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a tendency to self-harm?" he asks so sternly that I can only lower my head. "I mean, I saw you tend to tense up when you're nervous, but I didn't think it was that bad!"

"I don't... I don't self-harm," I reply in a tone I wish was more convincing. "Not really. Like... I don't cut and I usually just dig my nails into the palms of my hands. I've just been a bit anxious lately," I add for the doctor's attention.

"Alright, I'll have a look at these scratches too. Ivan, please return to your seat," Dr. Neely orders firmly, and since he instantly grabs my elbow and leads me to the ruler, all I get to hear is a grunt of frustration from my Samaritan. "A little over 5'10, sounds good. Go on the scales now."

I thought I was taller than that, but if he says so. However, his scales must have a problem because that can't be my weight."

"138, not so good..."

"I was 155 not so long ago! Your scales don't work."

"I assure you that this machine works perfectly," he chuckles as he leads me back to the examination table.

I'm too shocked to even protest. I noticed that my clothes had become a bit too large, but I didn't realize that I had lost so much weight. Fuck! I must be as thin as Cam now, if not worse.

"A few more pounds would be nicer, though don't worry, I'm sure you'll gain these back in no time. Now sit on the table."

As I do so, I can't help but peek at Ivan, only to see that his expression is getting darker and darker.

Yeah, trust him to set a few more rules and goals in the near future...

While I brood over my conscious' words, Dr. Neely continues the examination, first checking the bruises and injuries from Sunday's fight. These are healing very well, some of them already disappearing, so he goes on with the most recent scratches, advising to cure them like I did with the other ones, then proceeds to test my reflexes, listens to my heart and my lungs, feels for lymph nodes in my neck and armpits, and finally concludes with a check of my spine.

"Don't move, we're almost done," he says while reporting data on a sheet as I was about to jump off the table.

Almost done? Haven't we covered everything yet?

"Take off your underwear and lie back down," he adds in a serious tone.

"Why?"

"Please just obey, Aaron, it won't be long now," he replies, putting gloves on.

With a discreet sigh, I do as I was asked and lie back down on the table with my flaccid member between my legs. Thank goodness, the doctor is standing on my left side, blocking my sight from Ivan. I have always been comfortable with my body, I don't even mind my nakedness, but I'm afraid of a potential erection and this time, it might not be because of Ivan's gorgeousness.

If that doctor is the Marcus Ivan told me about, he can't be far from entering his fourth decade, but damn! He's freaking hot! Underneath the white coat, his black dress shirt doesn't leave much doubt about the powerful and toned chest it's holding, perhaps even tauter than Ivan's. His three-day stubble gives him a certain strict appearance, but he has such thin traits that it makes him deliciously attractive. So much so that I can only tilt my head to the side as he begins to palm my stomach and my bowels until he reaches my groin.

"Are you sexually active, Aaron?" he asks, still focused on his task.

"Yes, I am," I mumble.

"Masturbation or have you had sex too?"

"Both," I sigh, glad to feel that I'm not even blushing while I look at him.

Though that might change if he continues to palm my groin, because I can already feel slight tingles of excitement tickling my lower belly and that's the sign my cock will soon start swelling.

"Ivan? Do I need to lecture him on STDs, or have you already?" Dr. Neely asks without looking back at his friend.

"No, I've already started, but I'll drill more into his skull," Ivan replies sternly.

I can't help rolling my eyes at that, which earns me a deep scowl from the doctor, but I ignore him.

"Do you perform regular TSE?" he then asks while he feels my balls after he has asked me to cough.

"What's that?" I ask, flicking my head back to him.

"Stand up," he sighs. "TSE stands for Testicular Self-Exam. This is a short examination to check your testicles, to see if you notice bumps or lumps as these can be the first signs of testicle cancer. All men should do this from the age of 15, at least once a month to remain familiar with the shape and size of their testicles. I'll tell you how to do this. Take one of your testicles in one hand and hold it in place," he explains. "Just do it, Aaron," he insists in front of my hesitation.

"Now?"

"Tomorrow as well if you want, but yes, now," he replies, so I do as he says, with a little sigh. "Use your other hand to roll the other testicle back and forth... You shouldn't feel any hard mass, it should be firm."

"Looks ok..."

"Then repeat with the other testicle," he says.

I feel a bit silly doing this, but it's not unpleasant. Besides, if it can detect a problem and avoid troubles for my precious jewels, then I am ready to do this every so often.

"All good, I believe."

"Perfect, then lie back down. You should always perform this little test while standing so that your balls are descended. If you ever feel something, make an appointment for a medical screening."

"Alright..."

"Do you have any particular issues with your genitals?" he asks, now checking my semi-hard dick and I shake my head in answer.

I hardly manage to suppress a hiss when he pulls the foreskin back to examine the slit and the rest of my penis, and I feel myself blush a bit when my member swells more. By the time he's done with his assessment, I am almost fully hard, and my stupid cock is even dripping.

"All good here, you can stand up now," he says, taking a step back. "This side, Aaron," he calls out when I try to hop off on the opposite side to him, where my clothes are resting on a chair. "There's one last exam left. Now bend over the table."

"What!? Why?" I exclaim.

As if my erection wasn't embarrassing enough, now the guy wants me to expose my ass!

"I need to check your prostate."

"My prostate's doing very well, Doctor, thank you but no thank you," I reply with heavy sarcasm.

As I briefly peek to the side at my guardian, I notice how tense he has grown, most probably annoyed by my tone, but I don't really care, even when he decides to interfere.

"Aaron, just freaking bend over the table," he grouses behind the doctor. "The sooner you do it, the earlier we'll be done with this!"

We'll be done? Is he fucking kidding me? As far as I know, I'm the only one standing here naked and required to bend over! Mister Ivan is comfortably settled in a chair and still wearing all his clothes. Dr. Neely might agree with me on that one since he turns to face his friend with a sigh of exasperation.

"Ivan, can you please go wait outside while I speak with Aaron? It might be easier if you're not here, he might..."

"His presence doesn't bother me," I retort when I see that he gets it wrong. "It's that... exam! I mean... Is that necessary?"

"Aaron," he replies, resting a gentle hand on my shoulder, "the risk for prostate cancer is much more significant as men grow older indeed. However, there are cases in men in their early 20s too, and these are sometimes more aggressive, so you'd better be safe than sorry. And then, another purpose of this exam is also to detect prostate enlargement, even if once again, older men are usually more affected than younger ones."

Better safe than sorry does speak to me. In the last few days, I came up with the realization that I have already fucked up enough with my health, so why would I take further risks when I am offered the best medical care I could have dreamed of? Determined to get this over with, I let out a low grunt and turn away from the doctor to bend over and lean against the examination table, hiding my face in my arms.

"Spread your legs a bit further, Aaron... thanks, that's enough," the doctor says softly, and seconds later, I feel a jellied and gloved finger brush my back entrance. "Try to relax a bit, it won't be long."

Try to relax, that's a good one! He should try it!

Focusing on happier thoughts and Ivan's promise for a shopping morning, I actually manage to loosen up and my ring of muscles allows Dr. Neely's finger in. Said digit probes my insides, and I know what it's looking for.

And it soon finds it, making me blush as I strive to contain a moan.

Deep down, I consider myself a top, and yet, exactly like when I lost my anal virginity, I can't deny that the prostate massage can bring rather pleasant sensations. As much as my cock had started to deflate during the latest bout of conversation, that finger rubbing my very private bundle of nerves somehow rekindles my arousal and my manhood even begins to drip with precum.

As promised by the doctor, the exam doesn't last long, but it's still long enough to have me all edged. Thank goodness, the finger is out before my tightened balls can shoot their heavy load.

"It's all good, Aaron, you may get your clothes and dress up in the attached bathroom if you wish."

Without a look back and barely grunting a thank you, I grab my clothes from the chair and head to the restroom, desperately yearning to release in the toilets. It feels like ages since I last had sex and being surrounded by two gorgeous hunks hasn't helped my lust, so it comes as no surprise that only a few strokes of my erection suffice to reach an orgasm. Fuck! It feels so good! So much so that I can't suppress a deep moan and I couldn't care less if the men heard it. It's not like I need their permission to jack off, right?

On wobbling knees, I quick shrug into my clothes and hurry back to the office, wearing a very smug smile now that it's over and as I notice how Ivan's eyes briefly peek at my midsection that non longer displays a bump. I totally ignore his scowl, but as I take a seat in the armchair beside his, I do notice a bulge at the front of his pants, which he tries to hide by crossing his legs.

"So," Dr. Neely says as he finishes writing down a few notes on my file, "pending on the blood results we'll get in a few days, it seems like you're a young man in full health, Aaron. Just do as I told you for these scratches, gain a bit of weight, and it should be perfect."

"Cool! Thanks, Doctor!" I cheer, jumping to my feet since it's finally over.

"Sit back down, Aaron," Ivan orders firmly. "It's not over yet."

And that's when he brings up his suspicions for withdrawal symptoms, telling the doctor what happened last night and what he knows about my former use of drugs. I earn another lecture on the dangers of drugs, and Dr. Neely clearly states that even cannabis has been legalized in several places and is not the most dangerous substance, abusing it is risky and can cause irreversible damages to the brain. All things Ivan had already told me.

"Have you noticed anything else unusual, Aaron?" the doctor asks with a concerned frown.

"Err... I've been a bit anxious lately, had difficulty to fall asleep and last night, I had a nightmare... though I don't remember what it was exactly," I lie, because I certainly don't want to provide more explanations. "And chills, like I was freezing despite the heat."

"Hmm... This sounds like withdrawal indeed, but it's quite surprising since you haven't smoked pot for that long," he comments thoughtfully as he reclines in his armchair. "Unlike most other drugs, THC is stored in the fat cells, so it can take two months – sometimes even more – to clear from your body. However, you're still what I'd call a recent smoker, so the insomnia, nightmares, depressive state or headaches shouldn't last long in your case. You need to find activities that will help to clean your cells from the residues, things that'll keep your mind away from the unhealthy urges. I'm sure Ivan can suggest a few," he adds with a wink before he nods at his friend.

"Sure, I already have a few ideas, thanks, Marcus."

"It's never easy to break away from addictions, Aaron, but it's much better for your health," the doctor concludes.

"Yeah..."

"Are you doubting?"

"No, no... it's just... it's a lot and..." I trail off, briefly glancing at Ivan beside me. "I wasn't ready, I'm anxious and stressed, so I wish I could have still been able to smoke... plain cigarettes, at least for a few more days..."

"And I think it's better to quit all at once," Ivan counters with determination.

"Of course... you're not the one quitting..." I grumble through my teeth.

"Watch your tone, Aaron."

Or what? Are you going to send me to the corner of the doctor's office?

"How many cigarettes were left in that pack you confiscated, Ivan?" Dr. Neely interferes.

"Not sure, ten maybe. Why?"

"Just asking. Alright, Aaron, I'll keep you informed about the blood results and if you need any medical assistance, feel free to ask Ivan for an appointment with me," the doctor concludes as he rises to his feet and beckons me to follow suit, but Ivan doesn't seem to move, so I'm quite hesitant as to what I should do. "Please go to the waiting room as I need to proceed with a quick check-up on Ivan now, it won't be long."

"Why don't I get to stay here when he was allowed in during my check-up?" I retort a bit too smugly.

"Aaron, out!"

Ivan's groan nearly has me startle and yet, the doctor doesn't even look surprised by his friend's strictness. Does he really find this normal? His commanding tone makes me spring to my feet and hurry out once I have mumbled a thank you to the doctor, and while I bide my time in the waiting room, I strive to not dwell on their weird attitude.

Anyway, Ivan is out less than ten minutes later and after a few formalities with the secretary, he leads me out of the small clinic and back to his car. The man seems to be in a pretty stern mood as we settle inside the SUV, but I can't help noticing that the bulge at the front of his pants is still here, and I wonder if he went through a full examination too.

"What?" he grunts once he has fastened his seatbelt. "What's so funny again?"

Instead of impressing me, his grumpiness and his dark glare make me burst out laughing.

"Do... Do you... Need... Do you need... help... help with... with that boner?" I manage through my laughter.

"It's no boner, it's just the normal size, silly," he huffs, only making me laugh harder.

"No way. I remind you that I saw that tool of yours once, and that big was erect..."

"Just shut the fuck up," he grumbles, but I barely calm down despite the tension growing in his body, his fingers twitching ever so slightly. "Anyway, I told you I don't do minors."

"Such a lame excuse, I'm almost 18."

"But you're not."

"Okay, fine! Just keep your boner!" I snort with mock offense. "Just wanted to help and it could've been a pleasant way to thank you for all you've been doing for me."

"You know how to thank me, Menino," he sighs, back to his usual seriousness.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, quitting weed, graduating, higher education, bla-bla-bla..."

"Exactly. And my intention's never been to offer help against sexual favors. Now while we're at it, there's a few things I'd like to discuss further to your medical check-up. I did see you dig your nails into your arms the other day, but I didn't think it was that serious..."

"Honestly, don't worry about it, I'm not really into self-harm, Ivan," I gripe. "Like I said, it's more of a reflex when I'm anxious, but with things getting better, it won't last."

"What's making you the most anxious then?" he asks softly.

"My friends... I'm stressing over the next call I'll have with them, their reaction..."

"Okay, that's going to be an easy one to solve."

"Humpf... so you think..."

"Trust me, Aaron. I've thought about it and I came up with a whole plan, but we'll discuss it later this afternoon. Anything else that stresses you?"

"What do you think?" I seethe, unable to explain this sudden swing of mood as a puzzling rise of anger fills me. "I've just lost the only friend I had here in LA, I nearly got killed, I realized how much I've fucked up lately, I've just agreed to the weirdest agreement I've ever heard of with someone who was a total stranger only a few days ago, and on top of that, I've been asked to quit smoking! But aside of that, I'm perfectly fine, I've no reason to stress!"

My acerbity seems to leave him quite baffled while I try to even my breathing, and for a few seconds, Ivan just stares at me with wide-opened eyes and his mouth gaping until he recovers his spirits.

"I'll take this aggressiveness as a potential symptom of your withdrawal, but you'd better start watching your tone, Aaron," he finally says dryly, and that instantly brings me back down to Earth.

"Sorry..."

"I know it's been a lot to take in for you, and I'll be here to support you the best I can. Now, further to another conversation I had with Marcus while you were in the waiting room, I've decided to let you finish the pack you had started, but," he insists, raising a warning finger at me, "you're not getting another one. The goal is just to give you a deadline to quit smoking, a deadline that you will choose. I don't care whether you smoke the last ten cigarettes in one day or you make them last for ten days. The point is that you have to get into your head that once these have gone, there won't be more, so it's up to you to prepare yourself to quit smoking. Understood?"

Holy crap! I feel such relief from being granted an extension of deadline that I could literally hug him, kiss him, blow him, anything he wants.

Good, Ron! Drop your pants and offer him your tight little hole!

I swear that my sarcastic consciousness had better shut up soon or she's the one I'm going to fuck. Bottoming... Tsk, no way.

"Yes, Sir!!!" I cheer playfully.

Ivan closes his eyes for a few seconds and when he opens them again, they are smolderingly black.

"Good boy," he purrs before his expression morphs again to something more serious. "I bet your parents must have bugged with sins back in the days?"

"Err... yeah, of course..." I reply warily.

"Do you know what their pendants are?"

"Obviously... prudence, courage, temperance, justice, faith, hope and charity."

"Good!"

"Why are you asking?"

"My intention's not to reconcile you with religion or God, though maybe a bit, but I wouldn't force your convictions, however," he says very quickly, not giving me time to protest, "we'll work on more positive aspects than sins. I'll teach you the virtues I value the most, Aaron. You've named some of them, but I might consider a few more like chastity, diligence, patience, humility, etcetera."

"Ugh..." I grouse, sitting back properly in the passenger's seat and fastening my seatbelt.

"Not in a Christian way, Aaron, it'll be different. I can even say that Hope was covered when you accepted that you'd messed up with your life in the last few months but resolved to trust me with guiding you on a better path, but there's more to learn."

"Great... Can't wait..." I mumble under my breath as he eventually starts the car.

"I was thinking of Temperance to go on with, I would have taught you to fight your desire for wrong pleasures, but perhaps I should go with Humility?"

"That's fine, you're teaching me that every day anyway."

"Such a truth, but I can't say I'm getting much success on that one. Anyway, time to get you some clothes now," he says as he drives off.

"Hey, I have a question!"

"If you stop calling me Hey, maybe I'll answer," he replies with a clear glint of playfulness in his voice that makes me discreetly roll my eyes.

"That Doctor Neely we met," I carry on, ignoring his sarcasm, "is he the Marcus-friend you'd told me about?"

"Yep. He's my other best friend. Why?"

"Hmm, just asking..."

"Aaron?"

"What?"

"Why were you asking?"

"Because you didn't introduce him properly, so I wasn't sure!" I exclaim after a bit of hesitation.

"Huh, huh... My apologies, young man, I'll do so when we go to their place for dinner sometime in the next couple of weeks."

"Their place?"

"Marcus and Sam's place, if you prefer."

"Oh, he's married?" I ask with more disappointment than I was intending in my voice, and with Ivan laughing out loud, I bet he is going to make fun of me.

"Gays can't get married as far as I know. Sadly for Marcus and Sam, or they would have."

"Oh... I thought Sam was a woman..."

"He could have been, but no, Sam's definitely another man. He's 29, and I think you might get along with him quite well," he adds thoughtfully – almost worriedly.

"If you say so... Is he also a doctor?"

"Nope. Sam's a finance director."

"A finance director? And why would I get along with a guy who does such a boring job?" I exclaim, thinking about my father who is anything but fun.

"Don't judge before you've met him, Aaron," Ivan scolds me. "Sam is really fun, I know you'll like him."

"Okay... How long have they been together?"

"About ten years."

"Shit! That's a lot of years!"

Ivan inhales deeply and exhales his breath very slowly, probably refraining from his urge to scold me again, and I guess I should be a little more careful with swear words if I don't want to get into trouble.

"Yes, it's a lot of years indeed, but they're a wonderful couple. They're soon taking three weeks off to go on vacation, though, so I'll try to arrange a dinner before they leave."

Oh well, I'm quite eager to meet Marcus and Sam. You often learn a lot about people from hanging around with their best friends, and I hope to discover more of Ivan's facets through people like Marcus and Sam, or even Anton.

Ivan has opened up to me a bit more, but he does remain a mystery to me, so I can't wait to find out more.

Published on 4 December 2019

That was another freaking long chapter, but that's because I added quite a few details again compared to the first draft. Not much to say about it except that you shouldn't expect to have the full details of Aaron and Sam's first encounter, but no worries, you'll see plenty of him in the future and quite soon anyway. Also, the second part of that chapter required a lot of research as you can imagine, but I really wanted to write about a medical check-up and it was fun. In truth, young men rarely go through prostate exams, but I couldn't let the opportunity pass. As for the guys, the wait is almost over since Aaron will call them in the next chapter, and you'll understand why I couldn't have it earlier.

Now, I'd like to give a special thanks to @Coralie56 for her always appropriate comments and specifically two of them that reminded me that I had missed on important stuff. One was Ivan leaving Aaron alone at night when he supposedly knows how bad he feels, which allowed me to add a few things in their conversations in this chapter. The next one was when you said that Aaron is a natural. Yes, Aaron is a natural for BDSM, it just shows how the lifestyle will appeal to him right away. It was so obvious to me that I don't think I stated it clearly so early in the book. For that, thank you, because it gave me an idea for an additional scene in the next chapter, and I'm sure you'll recognize it immediately when you get there.

All this to add a little note on the importance of comments...

I already said it before, but I'll say it again. Readers' comments are what makes these books so much better than what they would have been without them. The best example was IWSFTM that I completely rewrote after I reread all the comments in each of the chapters (because I only had very few followers at the time I published the first version, hence next to zero comments), and those who have read both versions of that book would confirm that I corrected quite a few things.

The same goes with books I'm publishing. Each time I publish a chapter, I carefully read all the comments and pick the readers' comments, whether it's positive or negative, for the simple reason that the plotline of a book is so clear to me that I sometimes miss out on stating obvious things. Readers have their own point of view and their comments are a precious help when I edit the following chapters.

I remember that at the time of publishing Twisted Moon, there were about 1500 unique readers for each chapter, and each chapter often reached 700 and more comments. The Wattpad statistics give barely 600 readers for this book, which is clearly a huge drop from TM, but that's fine, Eclipse of the moon remains my favorite book so far and I'm still glad that a few readers are following Aaron's story, especially since updates come slowly.

Anyway, at the end of the day, I just wanted to say that I'm grateful for your comments, they are precious to me, so thank you to these very few readers who still comment, and to those who no longer do, that's fine, I'm missing you but I understand that life can be busy.

See you all next week for an update with the Jersey guys ;)