If I was being honest, most of the travel to Rishikesh was a blur after having waited for weeks to go.

The plane ride had almost been mind numbing as I had gone with Paul, Jane, Ringo and Maureen. John, George and their wives had already been there for a couple of days already.

It was difficult to get much of a word in with the four of them as I hadn't known them nearly as long as they all had known each other, and I felt slightly out of place being the quite apparent fifth wheel though Paul had insisted relentlessly that I travelled with him.

I had gotten pretty blitzed off of champagne for a good majority of the plane ride and napped for the remainder so it hadn't been completely unbearable.

Though, when we had landed, I had slept off most of my drunken state and became extremely nervous as I looked out the window at the cameramen and reporters everywhere outside

"You look nervous," Paul commented complacently,  stating the obvious.

"Ya well, you're higher than the plane ever was," I mumbled back defensively, my eyes unmoving from outside as I had noticed before Paul's eyes being red and bloodshot after "using the bathroom" about an hour ago.

I heard him stifle a laugh from behind me, causing me to look up at him more seriously.

"There's cameramen, what do we do?" I asked uncomfortably, completely flustered by the sight. I had never had an encounter with cameramen swarming in on you to take a photograph, and I was certain it would be in the worst possible way with two fourths of the Beatles.

"Smile?" Paul spoke simply, once again stating the obvious with a stupid grin.

"You're a twit." I grumbled as I stood up shaking my head.

"Your twit." He corrected with a lazy smile, hoping to get a smile out of me, which he quickly succeeded in.

We had begun to file out of the jet into the sights of so many hungry reporters. I waited to exits the plane last before Paul insisted to get a photograph with me for the press now that my being produced by Apple had just recently been announced.

"Sadie, look over here." I heard one of the reporters call over the others calls to everyone, causing me to be slightly flustered as Paul had decided to snake his arm around my waist and give the reporters a wink and an okay sign playfully, causing my mortification to amplify.

I'm sure Jane wasn't too pleased with the sight as I could tell she hadn't really wanted any association with me, never having said more than two words to me. I could understand why, I had taken so much of Paul's time at the studio I'm sure it was just natural to view me through a lense of distaste.

As we walked on quickly, Paul returned to Jane's side, causing me to become slightly bitter with jealousy. I had been so used to his full attention at the studio I would need to get used to not being able to take as much of his time up.

Mal had been there to meet us after we had all been welcomed with garlands of red and yellow flowers being placed around our necks. I immediately tensed up at the sight of Mal, he being the only other witness to John and I's kiss. I hadn't seen him since, and I also hadn't known he was coming to Rishikesh.

I had somehow with my luck ended up walking beside him since the boys were walking next to Jane and Maureen, and I had hoped Mal wouldn't say anything about that night.

"How was the flight?" He piped up, attempting to make conversation.

"Long," I said with a yawn, "How is the ashram? Meditative?" I asked Mal, gaining a chuckle out of him.

"Yeah," he trailed off, his smile faltering, "John kept asking after you and your arrival." He spoke quietly enough so the others wouldn't hear as we were walking behind them. I turned quiet, reaching in my pocket to grab the flask I had kept since I had known there would be no booze foreseeable at the ashram and took a large swig.

"I know what you must think of me, but believe me when I say the feeling isn't exactly reciprocated." I spoke shaking my head although the words were like acid, I wasn't sure I completely believed myself though I desperately wanted to.

We had gotten in the car that would fit all of us and bring us to the ashram, Mal letting me sit in the passenger seat so I wouldn't have to spend much more time being suck with two couples.

I had dozed off during the ride, only waking once we had arrived to the ashram.

As we had stepped out of the car, there was a funny little man with long hair and a beard to match, in an all white attire. I assumed him to be the Maharishi, as he waited for us near the doors with his entourage along with John, George Cynthia and Pattie waiting to greet us.

"Am I still drunk or is that Mike Love?" I rubbed my eye due to the bright sunlight beating down on us through the trees that surrounded us, speaking to no one in particular as I was looking up ahead at who I believed to be one of the Beach Boys on the grounds of the ashram as we walked to where the Maharishi was standing.

"God only knows." Ringo quipped, causing me ket out a snort as a laugh at the reference he'd made to their song.

"I'll ask him if Rhonda really helped him get her out of his heart." I joked back, squinting my eyes up at the beach boy, referring to another one of their songs.

"Mike," Paul called over to him suddenly, getting his attention, "she's a big fan." He continued pointing to me, causing my cheeks to burn with humiliation.

Mike smiled at me from afar and sent a thumbs up, I could've nearly thrown up from my nerves.

"Are you insane man?" I asked hitting his arm wide eyed, Paul only giggling in response.

"Namaste." He Maharishi spoke pressing his palms together in front of his chest and bowing as we had reached him, everyone returning the greeting.

I watched others as they did it, trying to mimic it feeling slightly lost. Everyone had already met the Maharishi already, so I felt a bit behind and anxious to actually starting to meditate as strange as it sounded, I just didn't want to make a fool of myself.

The Maharishi begun to speak about what he hoped the lads would be able to attain while they stayed here with meditation, though my focus however was more on trying not to look up at John who I noticed was sneaking glances up at me.

My eyes caught him as he mouthed a quick hello with a goofy grin, causing me to shake my head and motion my head to the Maharishi as if to tell him to listen.

He shook his head, sliding his tongue behind his bottom lip and sticking out in a famous Lennon "clap your hands sort of way.

"Now, we'll have you lead to your rooms for the night, then tomorrow, we'll come back together at ten o'clock tomorrow." The Maharishi had finally said, all of us going to walk to the Beatle's bungalow.

"Hello Sadie love." John grinned as Cynthia had begun to talk to the other girls, slowing down as I had been walking behind most of everyone feeling exhausted.

"John," I nodded hoping Mal wouldn't overhear, knowing better to entertain John. I had also felt awkward about it since the last time I had spoken to him it had been at my for.

"So, that bloke finally bugger off?" He inquired, referring obviously about Jer with a wide grin.

"Suppose so. I'm sure he'll be back though. He tends to do that." I said placing the glasses that were on my forehead down to my eyes with a dull expression.

John looked slightly confused by the statement, as if he had completely understood my situation before.

I'm sure I hadn't seen the last of him, especially now that I was an associated Beatles act. I'm sure he wouldn't be the only ghost from my past popping up.

I noticed Paul had turned back watching us over his shoulder before he saw my realization, snapping his head back around to Jane who was snugly underneath his arm.

I stared at Paul and Jane for a moment, feeling a jealously that was more apparent to me now than ever before. It didn't seem complicated when I was with Paul, and that's all I had ever wanted. Though, I could respect a relationship despite my one time encounter with John.

But I was here to focus on myself, with enlightenment, and music and things.

When we had made it to the bungalow I had immediately raced to the room that the ashram's workers had put them, collapsing onto the bed feeling as if I was ready to pass out from the travel exhaustion.

It was still quite early to go to bed in India but travelling all day had worn me out. I wasn't sure what tomorrow would bring, but I did have a feeling.