phoning it in.
elle | 19.

❥

Theadora sits cross legged on a wide soft chair behind a paper soft pink background. she's on set with elle magazine, anxiously awaiting the producer to announce the cameras are rolling. he counts down from three, signaling her to begin. "hi, i'm theadora james, and today i am going to be prank calling my friends and co-stars." she introduces, looking rather miserable at the idea. "this is phoning it in with elle."

"i hate pranks." thea admits. "i'm filled to the brim with anxiety right now, oh my god." thea flips through elle's prop notebook of challenges, reading off the first, "say the location of a music video you're shooting fell through and ask if you can shoot at their house tomorrow."

"who should i..." theadora bites her lip, "i'll call margot. she has a pretty big house, i think." thea pulls up margot robbies contact, increasingly growing nervous as she presses call, "don't pick up, don't pick up, please don't pick up..."

"hello?"

"shit." theadora mouths before speaking into the phone, "hey, it's thea."

"oh, hey!" the blonde greets back, "you know what's so crazy? i just had my phone on airplane mode, i don't know how this call came through."

thea's mouth drops open. just her luck. "are you dead serious?"

"yeah!"

"are you on a plane right now?" theadora asks.

"no, i was just on set." margot explains. "you must have a magic phone line that supersedes airplane mode. i love it."

thea grins, briefly muting herself and speaking to the camera. "lucky me."

margot continues, asking, "how are you my love?"

theadora unmutes herself, giggling with nerves. "i'm good. i actually have a crazy question for you."

"tell me." margot cuts herself off, "oh, by the way; good girls guide to murder—we're obsessed. i must've watched it a dozen times already. you're incredible, thee. phenomenal."

theadora blushes. "stop, oh my god i love you guys."

"you're talent is unreal." margot backtracks, "okay, sorry, what was your question?"

"okay, it's really weird," theadora warns. "so, i'm supposed to shoot a video for billie tomorrow, but the location fell through, and i was wondering if we could shoot it at your house." the teen immediately doubles over, holding the phone away as she slaps a hand over her mouth.

margot exhales thoughtfully, "ordinarily i would say fuck yeah, but we are packing up our house tomorrow."

"oh, that's okay!" a producer behind the camera motions for thea to push further, "do you know anyone else who could give us their house?"

"let me think..." margot pauses, thinking. "what kinda vibe is she after?"

"i think she said there's gonna be, like, two hundred extras." thea easily lies, "i know, kind of a lot. but it'll be a lot of people..."

"so you need space."

theadora nods as though the woman on the other line could see. "a lot of space, yeah."

"space inside or space outside?" margot clarifies.

"probably both." thea giggles nervously. "you know billie—go big or go home."

"yeah, yeah." margot continues, "okay. let me think, let me think."

deciding she's stressed the blonde enough, thea puts an end to the conversation. "margot, i'm kidding—i'm on set they're forcing me to prank you. i'm so sorry."

"oh my god!" margot exclaims, "no, i was racking my brain. i was like, fuck, i don't know if my friends have big enough houses for this."

"i know, i'm so embarrassed." thea admits, "i'm on camera with elle, and..."

"wait, what?" margot laughs in disbelief, "oh hi, elle."

"i know, i'm so embarrassed." thea admits, "i hate pranks."

margot chuckles, "prank me anytime! and also, if you ever have a real request like that, feel free to call me."

"oh my god, get the fuck outta here." thea laughs, "okay, i love you so much, i'm sorry for doing that."

"love you doll." margot exhales, "its alright, bye darling."

theadora ends the phone call, immediately dropping her head into her hands. "she's never gonna answer again. i'm gonna send margot flowers for that." she flips through the prank notebook, reading the next challenge out loud. "start apologizing and admit you accidentally leaked their phone number."

"i'm gonna do maddie ziegler for this." thea opens her contacts, scrolling through until reaching maddie's name and pressing call.

"hello?"

"maddie." thea answers seriously.

maddie immediately becomes concerned, "what?" when thea doesn't answer, too busy stifling giggles, she repeats, "what!?"

"i might've leaked your number."

"no? what?"

thea slaps a hand over her mouth, "i think i did."

"wait, how?"

"my friend was on tiktok live and i was like..." she tries lying on the spot, "i don't know. it just happened. and i think—cause everyone's in my dms like, 'why'd you leak maddie's number?'"

"wait, but how would they have seen it?"

"i was going through my contacts and i was looking up maddie 'cause i was gonna call madelyn cline for something," thea takes a breath, "but i clicked on your thing instead to, like, press messages and your whole thing came up."

"oh. okay." maddie sighs, "well, we shall see."

theadora lets out a laugh, "wait, i'm pranking you.  that was crazy."

"oh my god, you're pranking..." maddie exhales in relief, "thank—oh my god, i was actually so stressed."

"wait, you sounded so okay." thea laughs, "that was amazing."

"i hate you!" maddie exclaims.

"it's an elle video," theadora explains, "and i called you. i'm so sorry."

"oh oh oh, hey!" maddie greets through laugher. "i actually would've been so sad because this happened way too many times."

"i love you i would never do that to you."

"okay, i love you so much."

"okay, bye," thea laughs, ending the call. "she said, 'oh, well, we'll see.'" she flips the notebook back open, reading the next prank call out loud, "pitch a wild music video concept for a new song that you want to star in."

"let's see..." thea pulls up her contacts, "cami mendes, everybody."

"hello?" camila mendes answers after just two rings.

"hi," thea greets, "okay, so, are you familiar with charli xcx?"

"yeah, of course."

"she's doing a new music video and single, like she's dropping them at the same time," the teen easily fibs, "and she wants us to play sisters but we're, like, robbing a bank in australia."

"wait, what?" cami laughs in surprise, "they want us to fly to australia to shoot a charli xcx music video?"

"yes." thea confirms, "and they want us two to rob the bank."

cami laughs more through the phone, "i mean, i kinda love it?"

"it's kinda slay, right?"

"i mean, you and i are destined to play sisters at some point."

"i'm saying!" thea agrees, "okay, one more thing: i'm pranking you for an elle video."

"wait, no fucking way."

"cami, you have no idea—first of all, everybody hates me no one's answering my calls." thea admits, "but this means a lot to me."

"but i fucking answered." cami states proudly. "now i'm just sad that this isn't actually happening."

theadora agrees, "i kinda got myself excited too, not gonna lie."

"oh my god."

"well now we just have to do it ourselves." thea shrugs, suggesting, "let's write a movie together."

"umm, okay, well i have some ideas."

"okay, i love you so much, but i need to call more people."

"okay, yeah, yeah." camila rushes, "go call more people. okay, bye."

theadora hangs up, looking at the camera, "if you felt my heart right now..." she laughs lightly, referencing the notebook once again. "next... reveal you just heard about early script ideas for barbie 2, and it's going to be a horror/thriller film."

"i know who i'm calling—i'm calling madelyn cline, my co-star in obx." thea decides, pulling the actress's contact up.

"hi baby,"

"maddie." thea greets, "i need your advice, like, seriously."

"okay." madelyn automatically asks, "what's his name?"

"no!" thea laughs, shaking her head. "they just sent me ideas—like early, early ideas—for barbie two."

maddie gasps, "omg!"

"they wanna make it a horror movie and i'm tryna get you in on it." thea fibs, "you have to do it."

"that's not even a question." maddie answers, unmoved. "that's like a done deal."

"okay, perfect. i'm letting them know right now, i'll text greta." thea continues, "and you obviously know how much i love julia fox, right?"

"uh, no." maddie admits, "but i do now."

"she just did this elle video, where people call a bunch of people and prank call each other."

"mhm..."

"yeah. so, i just did that to you." theadora holds the phone up away from her face, turning away in laughter.

"wait, what?" maddie asks, "wait, are you laughing? am i in a prank video?"

"yes. i'm so sorry i had no choice." thea apologizes, "barbie two isn't happening to my knowledge—and its not a horror movie."

"that's terrible!" madelyn exclaims, "so you completely just pranked me for barbie two."

"indeed." thea confirms, "i'm so sorry."

"what's even going on right now?"

"i must explain later. goodbye." theadora says through laughter, hanging up. she pulls the notebook out once more, "say that you were driving on the PCH and got in a crash and are hanging off the edge of the cliff."

"the only person that knows i really can't drive yet is bille," thea pulls out her phone, "so i'm gonna call billie."

"hi babygirl, you okay?" the singer answers the call.

"well..."

"uh oh, tell me."

"so i was driving, and—"

"is that theadora james?" a male voice sounds from the background.

thea furrows her eyebrows, "is that finneas?"

"yeah." billie chuckles.

"okay. so, i was driving—i'm on the pch right now." thea continues, willing tears to the surface and making her voice small. "i panicked and i needed to tell you this. i fucking crashed bad and spun out and the cars literally, like, hanging off the pch."

"theadora." billie answers with concern, "what's going on?" unable to contain herself anymore, thea doubles over in embarrassed laughter. "what the hells going on?"

"i can't do this anymore." thea leans back in her seat, composing herself. "i'm actually being forced against my will to call you for elle. fucking phoning it in."

"no you're fucking not, you fucking freak." billie curses, "no way, no way." finneas is heard laughing in the background. "i literally thought you were gonna die. jesus christ. i got so scared, dude. oh my god."

"i'm so sorry." thea apologizes.

"i'm so glad you're good, tiny."

"okay, i love you, goodbye."

billie ends, "see ya soon, elle."

after hanging up, thea speaks to the crew behind the camera. "you guys, i feel so bad. like, out of all people i told billie i was off a cliff. are you kidding me?"

"thank you guys so much for watching." theadora closes the video, "make sure you check out a good girls guide to murder on netflix now!"